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Periscope by Niall O'Dowd

Rory Staunton, a beautiful boy, leaves this earth. The hardest column I will ever have to write

Posted on Wednesday, April 04, 2012 at 07:25 AM

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Beloved Rory Staunton

Periscope: When darkness comes and illness strikes a child; My flood of letters from families who live in great pain

This is the toughest column I will ever write and the one I least expected to.

On Sunday night in a New York hospital my beautiful 12-year-old nephew Rory Staunton passed from this earth.

Rory wasn’t just my nephew, he was the son I never had, the precious possession of my sister Orlaith and her husband Ciaran Staunton along with their daughter Kathleen.

Orlaith was the one that followed me to America. I introduced her and Ciaran on an Irish weekend in the Catskills back in the 1990s. Soon they were pledged to each other and they have had a wonderful marriage and family.

From earliest times, Rory was a laughing little boy, an impish toddler always ready for fun, especially when his sister Kathleen and her sidekick,my daughter Alana, were involved.

In later years, he was also strangely mature for his age, taking part in adult conversations while other kids played childhood games.

I tried to steal Rory away often; a Notre Dame game, a weekend at our house, whenever the opportunity presented itself. I revelled in this big laughing Irishman, with the "Simpsons" and "Family Guy" obsession, the absurd sense of humor and the serious political side of him who studied American politics with the intensity of a professional.

JFK was his hero he told me, because of his idealism. Rory too wanted to make a difference, to help the less well off. For one so young he already had a highly developed social conscience.

He had already been to the White House and had met President Obama and Michelle on St.Patrick’s Day in 2011. Not surprisingly, given his parents and their keen interest in all things political, Rory was fast becoming a political expert.

Rory charmed the pants off whoever met him. The girls were already showing interest, but Rory was a busy guy. He had taken flying lessons at 11, leaving his parents with their hearts in their mouths as he flew fearlessly into the wild blue yonder with his instructor.

Ireland was his spiritual home. On vacations back in his Dad’s Mayo or his Mom’s Kerry and Louth he fell in with the locals and a gaggle of cousins, discussed Mayo’s continued Gaelic Football failures with the best of them and came back to New York as attuned to Ireland and its rhythms as any local.

He was about to spread his wings, and Georgetown University and its politics degree were on his radar. Rory was opening up, emerging from a chrysalis, ready for the beckoning world, to take flight.

Then on Sunday we lost him. Four days earlier he had received an elbow scrape after falling while playing basketball, which had somehow allowed a toxic bacteria into his system. Two days later he was hospitalized, fighting for his life, a battle he ultimately lost.

There is an air of unreality even as I write this. My beautiful red-headed, five-foot nine-inch tall nephew has departed, leaving an utterly broken family and circle of friends that stretches from New York to Ireland to many other points behind.

It was the worst weekend of my life as I watched the beloved boy battle vainly against the host of toxins that were attacking him.

Despite the best efforts of outstanding doctors and nurses in the Intensive Care Unit , the darling boy did not survive.

He is gone now into the wild blue yonder where he used to travel as a pilot in the making.

Soar high Rory, and keep watch on us down below. We love you and miss you so much. Some day with a blue sky above and a fair wind behind, and our hearts full, our dreams will come true and we will meet our beautiful boy again.

Until then, slan go foill a chuisle mo chroi.

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julesdud1 | Apr 04, 2012, 09:43 PM EDT

I'm so sorry for you and your family and the rest of us too. He sounds like such a blessing to this world. A young man who made a difference already. Certainly his passing is a loss for this world. What a joy to have him in your family even thought it was short and he will always be a joy in your hearts. Thank you for sharing him.

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eugene kelly | Apr 04, 2012, 07:40 PM EDT

sorry for your loss niall ,that is just an unbelieveable sad story ,can,t even imagion how i would cope with that if it was my son who is 14 ,condolances to his mum and dad and sister and all the family and friends ,may god give you all the strenght on the journey back to ireland for rory,s funeral god bless

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yorkville | Apr 04, 2012, 07:37 PM EDT

Niall, what a beautiful child,i am so sorry for your loss, your poor sister and her family, this is just devastating.

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Curitiba | Apr 04, 2012, 07:04 PM EDT

Dear Niall, please accept my sincerest condolences for you and your family's loss. I am very saddened for you. God bless.

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Curitiba | Apr 04, 2012, 06:29 PM EDT

A heartbreaking story. Niall, I am so sorry. There are no words.

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jacersagain | Apr 04, 2012, 05:52 PM EDT

Heartbreaking event Niall.. so sorry for his parents and for you and yours. God be with you all in this time.

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lorettas | Apr 04, 2012, 03:30 PM EDT

Niall, what a tragic story. My prayers and thoughts go out for you and Rory's family.

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muirisobric | Apr 04, 2012, 03:13 PM EDT

O my. And I remember him too. At the UIC event when Gerry O'Shea and yourself were honored a feww short weeks ago. I was explaining to him how we were related and he was kinda skeptical and who could blame him but when I mentioned Kerry a glint came into his eyes and then I knew he knew. God bless him. He's now with the angels recounting to his Grandparents the events of this world below. And I hope he'll use his influence to help us deal with our trials and most of all those of his heartbroken parents and relatives. Grá go deó. Muiris

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blackbearpause | Apr 04, 2012, 03:04 PM EDT

This is not how life should be. We are expected to bury our parents, and at times our spouse and maybe siblings. We should not have to bury our children. Prayers go out to all the family.

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DMuller | Apr 04, 2012, 02:52 PM EDT

My deepest condolences to all of your Family ,as a mother i can not imagine the pain you are in.My heart is broken for you all .You are in my thoughts and prayers.What a beautiful boy .

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annoreilly | Apr 04, 2012, 02:39 PM EDT

Condolences to you and to his parents and sister.. what a sad time for the family

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snakehips | Apr 04, 2012, 02:39 PM EDT

Naill, SO sorry to hear about your family's loss of Rory. Kids that pure go straight to heaven when they pass. God bless you all!

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padraiginrua | Apr 04, 2012, 02:36 PM EDT

Ar dheis Dé go raibh a anam

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bibi | Apr 04, 2012, 02:32 PM EDT

This is so sad such an awful thing to happen ... he looks like a boy who would have done great things ... but I always think that those whom we have loved in life walk beside always when they pass .. we have an obligation to them to be the best we can and to live up to the life they would have wanted for themselves and us as much as possible ... such a beautiful boy he will walk beside his family and friends now while they struggle to comprehend this ..you will all be in my prayers and I will pray for Rory and to Rory to give you all strenght ...God bless you all .. Cork Ireland

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boherlihy | Apr 04, 2012, 02:31 PM EDT

So sad, my sincerest condolences to you and his parents.

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