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Periscope by Niall O'Dowd

Rory Staunton, a beautiful boy, leaves this earth. The hardest column I will ever have to write

Posted on Wednesday, April 04, 2012 at 07:25 AM

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Beloved Rory Staunton

Periscope: When darkness comes and illness strikes a child; My flood of letters from families who live in great pain

This is the toughest column I will ever write and the one I least expected to.

On Sunday night in a New York hospital my beautiful 12-year-old nephew Rory Staunton passed from this earth.

Rory wasn’t just my nephew, he was the son I never had, the precious possession of my sister Orlaith and her husband Ciaran Staunton along with their daughter Kathleen.

Orlaith was the one that followed me to America. I introduced her and Ciaran on an Irish weekend in the Catskills back in the 1990s. Soon they were pledged to each other and they have had a wonderful marriage and family.

From earliest times, Rory was a laughing little boy, an impish toddler always ready for fun, especially when his sister Kathleen and her sidekick,my daughter Alana, were involved.

In later years, he was also strangely mature for his age, taking part in adult conversations while other kids played childhood games.

I tried to steal Rory away often; a Notre Dame game, a weekend at our house, whenever the opportunity presented itself. I revelled in this big laughing Irishman, with the "Simpsons" and "Family Guy" obsession, the absurd sense of humor and the serious political side of him who studied American politics with the intensity of a professional.

JFK was his hero he told me, because of his idealism. Rory too wanted to make a difference, to help the less well off. For one so young he already had a highly developed social conscience.

He had already been to the White House and had met President Obama and Michelle on St.Patrick’s Day in 2011. Not surprisingly, given his parents and their keen interest in all things political, Rory was fast becoming a political expert.

Rory charmed the pants off whoever met him. The girls were already showing interest, but Rory was a busy guy. He had taken flying lessons at 11, leaving his parents with their hearts in their mouths as he flew fearlessly into the wild blue yonder with his instructor.

Ireland was his spiritual home. On vacations back in his Dad’s Mayo or his Mom’s Kerry and Louth he fell in with the locals and a gaggle of cousins, discussed Mayo’s continued Gaelic Football failures with the best of them and came back to New York as attuned to Ireland and its rhythms as any local.

He was about to spread his wings, and Georgetown University and its politics degree were on his radar. Rory was opening up, emerging from a chrysalis, ready for the beckoning world, to take flight.

Then on Sunday we lost him. Four days earlier he had received an elbow scrape after falling while playing basketball, which had somehow allowed a toxic bacteria into his system. Two days later he was hospitalized, fighting for his life, a battle he ultimately lost.

There is an air of unreality even as I write this. My beautiful red-headed, five-foot nine-inch tall nephew has departed, leaving an utterly broken family and circle of friends that stretches from New York to Ireland to many other points behind.

It was the worst weekend of my life as I watched the beloved boy battle vainly against the host of toxins that were attacking him.

Despite the best efforts of outstanding doctors and nurses in the Intensive Care Unit , the darling boy did not survive.

He is gone now into the wild blue yonder where he used to travel as a pilot in the making.

Soar high Rory, and keep watch on us down below. We love you and miss you so much. Some day with a blue sky above and a fair wind behind, and our hearts full, our dreams will come true and we will meet our beautiful boy again.

Until then, slan go foill a chuisle mo chroi.

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89 comments

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sirpeter | Apr 05, 2012, 06:12 PM EDT

My heart goes out to all his family.I can think of no greater pain than the loss of a child.

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irislegalperson | Apr 05, 2012, 02:56 PM EDT

Rory did make a difference in this world. Thank you for sharing his passing and I am so sorry for your loss. I can not imagine the pain his mom and dad and sister are going through and you and other family members and his friends. Just know you and everyone that knew Rory have been touched by an angel while Rory was here on earth. His heart and soul will always be here and always here in spirit.

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Irishbodygiard | Apr 05, 2012, 02:35 PM EDT

nail, My God and the Blessed Mother comfort you and your family now and always.

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Rebelforce | Apr 05, 2012, 12:46 PM EDT

May God be with you Niall and your family to console and strengthen you during this sad and tragic time. This story should remind all of us about the fragility of life and how so much of what we typically fret over is so insignificant compared to the loss of a loved one.

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howareya | Apr 05, 2012, 12:18 PM EDT

Niall, I am so sorry for your loss! I can't imagine losing one of my children, especially so young. Not only is this a loss to your family but also to the world. I seems as if he would have made great contributions but God had other plans for him. God bless to all.

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madison98 | Apr 05, 2012, 10:37 AM EDT

Niall, My deepest sympathy to all Rory's family. An unimaginable loss.

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Lausane | Apr 05, 2012, 10:05 AM EDT

I am so sorry to hear of your family's tragic loss. My own nephew suffered a similar infection several years ago and was gravely ill for a no of weeks but thankfully he pulled through. He was a remarkable young man by all accounts and you can be very proud of him- he is your angel in Heaven. RIP Rory.

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KerryLKing | Apr 05, 2012, 09:43 AM EDT

May God be with you....so, so sorry for your loss!!

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IrelandNorth | Apr 05, 2012, 05:36 AM EDT

Sorry to hear it, Niall! An incredible emotional burden for anyone to bear. Ar dheis Dei go raibh a h'anam!/May his soul rest on the right hand side of God! Only the good die young. Glad to read of his close connections with the auld sod. IrelandNorth from DublinSouth!

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mtheresa | Apr 05, 2012, 02:27 AM EDT

Peace and comfort to his parents, sister and extended family on the loss of a beautiful youngster.RIP. The memories he created will live on.

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borefield | Apr 04, 2012, 11:39 PM EDT

My deepest sympathy Niall to you and Rory's parents and all family members on the sad loss of this precious child. I will keep all of you in my prayers as you try and cope. God Bless.

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FloBaker | Apr 04, 2012, 11:36 PM EDT

Niall, I am so sorry to read this news. My thoughts and prayers are with you and the family

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Leona Callaghan | Apr 04, 2012, 10:51 PM EDT

Niall, my deepest sympathy to Ciaran, Orlaith and Kathleen and your extended family on Rory's tragic passing. I worked in O'Neills when I first came to NY in 1999, Rory was a beautiful baby who we all loved to see when Orlaith brought him into the bar. As a parent now myself I can't even imagine what you are all going through. You are all in my thoughts and prayers at this difficult time.

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christilcaugh | Apr 04, 2012, 10:19 PM EDT

Niall, I am so sad for you and your family. My prayers are with you and your sister's family.

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MegK311 | Apr 04, 2012, 09:52 PM EDT

Niall, How sad for you and your family. I will keep you all in my prayers.

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