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Periscope by Niall O'Dowd

Five best and worst stories for 2011--Prince William, Irish downfall, Miley Cyrus among them

Posted on Friday, December 24, 2010 at 05:51 AM

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Five stories I won't want to read about in 2011:

1. Prince William and Kate. Look out as the tabloids go ballistic close to the wedding and every living thing such as footmen, man servants,butlers,ladies in waiting-- men in tights all the little girl fantasy stuff is interviewed within miles of Buckingham Palace. Tiresome already. So much gushing, so little time.

2. Ireland is screwed, buggered, f..ed, bollixed, dead, dying, miserable, gone, etc. All true maybe, but enough already -- they may just surprise us.

3. Global warming is explained endlessly despite ever more bitter winters it seems. In fact the bitter winters we are told are precisely because of global warming Can't quite figure that one out.

4. Sarah Palin shoots a hedgehog and eats it live. She seems to have shot everything else that moves. Ok we get it, -- the pioneer woman thing. Next up rat tail soup

5. Republicans/Democrats continue gridlock in Washington. Like two kids fighting endlessly over an ever smaller pie.Enough already.

Five stories I am looking forward to reading

1. Irish election sweeps in new government. After being in power 22 out of 24 years and making a right bollix of it time for new faces and story lines.

2. Repubs and Democrats together pass DREAM act. To help those kids of illegals,who through no fault of their own were brought to America as kids and know no other land. Give these kids a break people.

3. Miley Cyrus hit on head with bong. Singing career over

4. Oprah channel bombs. Only so much touchy-feely us real men can take.

5. Fox news and MSNBC combine, Warm and fuzzy as Bill O'Reilly and Keith Olberman embrace and do joint 2 hour show every night. Now whose the pinhead or worst person in the world?

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freekazilla | Mar 20, 2011, 11:19 AM EDT

On the royal wedding mug gaffe, is Prince Harry's mug way too happy for the occasion; While the british penchant for understatement is rather moonlight cool ? Can Prince Harry's penchant for mischief be more sunlight hot ?

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freekazilla | Mar 20, 2011, 11:14 AM EDT

On the royal wedding mug gaffe, is Prince Harry's mug way too happy; While the british penchant for understament is rather moonlight cool; Can Prince Harry's penchant be more sunlight hot ?

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freekazilla | Mar 20, 2011, 11:10 AM EDT

On the royal wedding mug gaffe, is Prince

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sirpeter | Dec 30, 2010, 08:55 PM EST

Searlit..What you are saying is correct.It is healthier to buy organic products anyway.I also know what you mean by the 10% tipping over point.All that is good.But Global warming and it's effects,while they sound horrific and bad.But it's a long term problem.There is much more immediate problems that a conscientious guy/women like you should be more worried about.Don't be distracted by documentaries and the media about Global Warming.If you are American..Watch your Government very closely.The USA PATRIOT Act doesn't just cover terrorists..It stops your right to protest and can be used to arrest you,if they think you protest too much.Silence the people using fear,while they get on with their crazy foreign policy,that is going to cause havoc.To me that's more important then any Global Warming.

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ancavker | Dec 29, 2010, 04:04 PM EST

Denius, dude, you need to chill. A bang on the ear simply means a kiss on the cheek.

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Searlit | Dec 29, 2010, 01:39 PM EST

Sirpeter, there are a lot of us buying local and organic products. It is making a difference and the more it catches on the better. There is a tipping point where when 10% of the people become conscious of a truth, it will spread like wildfire throughout the rest of the population. I have grandchildren, too. There is hope!

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sirpeter | Dec 28, 2010, 10:24 PM EST

Searlit..I understand what you are saying,especially about creating a momentum in the right direction.The fact remains that Americans use a crazy amount of fossil fuel in comparison even to Europe.The thing is Searlit everything you buy.. ie (transporting,making goods,harvesting food ect) is using fossil fuel one way or the other,you can't avoid it.Unless they replace petroleum products with something cleaner and cheaper,you might as well forget it.I wouldn't worry about it anyway.I read somewhere Mount St Helen's volcano spewed out more green house gases in the few months it was active,then America did in the last 100 years.Nature will adjust to us or if she can't, she will just eliminate as a species.Either way we won't damage the planet..99.999% of species that lived on the Earth are already extinct,My guess is the United States in the next 50 to 100 years is going to fu*k with the wrong country or people and ye are going to get nuked in a big way.Then ye are going to go ballistic (excuse the pun) Good chance it will be a Muslim country,because Muslims have it in for ye.I know enough to know that extremists are watching and waiting,biding their time and sooner or later they are going to nuke the States somewhere,making the twin towers attack look like child's play.Think Iran for starters,good clue there.Sounds like fantasy,doesn't it,well it's not. So it's not Global Warming i'm worried about..it's more how my grandchildren will cope with a nuclear winter.

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Searlit | Dec 28, 2010, 02:46 PM EST

sirpeter, it is on the Presidents agenda. Personally, our house is heated with natural gas, not perfect, but better than oil or coal. I avoid petroleum products, as much as possible. I don't drive around much, few can afford to, these days. I tend to be a homebody, so my carbon footprint is a lot smaller than it otherwise could be. If each of us becomes aware of the need to decrease our energy consumption and live a simpler lifestyle, that in itself would create a momentum in the right direction.

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Monsoonman | Dec 28, 2010, 09:53 AM EST

Oh Dennis! You forgot to mention that Egypt also gets the same billions, per the jimmy carter camp david accords....funny you forgot to flesh out your headline.

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DennisQ | Dec 28, 2010, 04:11 AM EST

2011 Story I'd Like to Read: U.S. ends lavish subsidy to apartheid Israel. The basis for America's annual gift of billions of dollars to Israel is the "shared values" between the two nations. This may have been true in the days of Jim Crow, but today, most Americans are embarrassed by overt racism.

Although it's unlikely that Republicans in the House of Representatives will consent to a clampdown on racism, perhaps an appeal to fiscal responsibility may have more effect than an appeal to their consciences. It would be great to see the President announce that American tax funds are not going to support racist regimes, either in Mississippi or in Tel Aviv.

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sirpeter | Dec 27, 2010, 07:57 PM EST

Searlit..it's just not going to happen,China has 300 years of coal,and they don't give a damn,They probably have more,Burning fossil fuels on the rise.Unless you set the example yourself and use Clean, renewable energy,Why are they going to stop selling fossil fuels if your going to keep giving them money.The thing is if you live in the west,you are doing more damage to the environment,then 75% of the people in the world.

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Searlit | Dec 27, 2010, 07:08 PM EST

Clean, renewable energy will save the environment and the economy, if it's given a chance.@ sirpeter, I don't have a fallout shelter, but thanks for your kind offer. I live on a hill.

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Towngate | Dec 27, 2010, 02:47 PM EST

All Irishmen are Mysogynists because their Mammies told them to be afraid of their wives!

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cillowen | Dec 27, 2010, 11:20 AM EST

same suspects will be elected as per the nature of systems.

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Monsoonman | Dec 26, 2010, 11:05 PM EST

Well I'm not a misogynist but, women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

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