NEW YORK BOSTON |#Popular: Irish Celebrity Gossip Irish in US Politics Irish Festivals Irish Roots Irish Entertainment Offbeat Irish

Home Page > Blogs > News blogs > Periscope > An Irish wake for Rory Staunton back home in Meath --- The families and friends gather for the timeless Irish ritual

Periscope by Niall O'Dowd

An Irish wake for Rory Staunton back home in Meath --- The families and friends gather for the timeless Irish ritual

Posted on Sunday, April 08, 2012 at 08:30 AM

Larger Text

E-mail

16 Comments

RSS

Archives

The Irish wake for my nephew Rory Staunton began in the parlor of his Aunt Derval’s house among the rolling hills and farmland of County Meath.

Rory, aged 12, died at New York University Hospital a week ago from a toxic infection suffered after an elbow cut received at a basketball game.

The parlor is the room in the Irish house that is kept spotless, has all the best furniture and finery but nobody ever visits it except for occasions of great joy or in this case grief.

Derval, a nurse, had waked my mother and her own husband Paddy Hogan, a farmer there over the past ten years. She had been a tower of strength at the side of my sister Orlaith and her husband Ciaran when their son Rory passed away in New York.

Now it was, unbelievaby, 12-year old Rory’s body with the Irish and American flag and the flag of his beloved Mayo that lay in that same room in that same house in a beautiful corner of County Meath in this blessed time of spring when new life abounds.
_____________
READ MORE:

The long journey home begins for 12-year-old Rory Staunton -- Taking his final trip back home to his beloved Emerald Isle

12-Year-Old Rory Staunton’s life is celebrated in style at New York church Over 1,000 throng to say farewell to our laughing boy in Woodside, Queens

Rory Staunton, a beautiful boy, leaves this earth. The hardest column I will ever have to write
_____________

The Staunton and O’Dowd families had flocked from all over Ireland and America and some locals had dropped in too.

The wake followed a very defined ritual, similar in Irish rural life all for generations. It is a blessed one, especially for the parents of Rory who can once again absorb the love and support.

The arrival of the little boy’s coffin from the Aer Lingus flight from New York was accompanied with dread, floods of tears, and a sadness so profound that the gloom seemed impermeable.

As the priest said the brief prayers, the sounds of tears and desperate sadness filled the room.

Then, after the priest departed and the individual visitations to the coffin were completed the stories began and Rory’s life began to reassert itself.

From the Staunton side we heard about the little boy’s annual travels to Mayo every year and the life and the times he witnessed there.

Rory always spoke of his best friend forever, Donal, the son of Ciaran’s brother, and the two young boys are roughly the same age. I’d never met Donal but if there is an Irish version of Rory it is him, inquisitive, warm, friendly and now clealry heartbroken.

Then the memories of Rory on this very farm were brought on, the kid Yank home from America who seemed to move so naturally through the rhythms of Irish rural life. Once he was found on top of bales of hay stacked so high no one could quite figure out how he climbed up there.

His fascination with Paddy Hogan’s pet sheep who followed Paddy around like an obedient dog, after being house-raised was also recalled.

It was time for the little girls to pay their own tribute. His sister Kathleen and my daughter Alana prepared their last little play and concert for Rory, which they performed behind closed doors for their beloved Ro Ro.

I’m glad I didn’t witness it as it would have been too much.

The wake went on late into the life. Farming life was one constant topic, as two rural families united in grief for a young boy but also in celebration of an extraordinary life. In the midst was Danielle, Derval’s daughter, nine months pregnant and ready to start the cycle of life anew in the never-ending battle

The funeral mass and burial now lies ahead before Rory can rest forever in his beloved Ireland. Our hearts are broken but the extraordinary love for Rory in Ireland and America is solace indeed.

E-mail

16 Comments

See all comments

ODalaigh1978 | Apr 11, 2012, 02:03 PM EDT

May his soul rest in peace.

Report abuse

Madeliene | Apr 10, 2012, 03:50 PM EDT

I am so, so, very sorry for yuor loss.

Report abuse

IrelandNorth | Apr 10, 2012, 08:34 AM EDT

Fly back home to the Angels, little fellah! Only the good die young. I am reminded of Don McClean's wonderful 1970's classic hit about Dutch Van Gough. This world was never meant for one as beautiful as you. Obviously, God needed another little angel.

Report abuse

irishpjk | Apr 08, 2012, 07:30 PM EDT

My family and I send our condolence to Rory’s family and friends. I am sure there is a new twelve year old saint in heaven for all of you to pray to. The ways of God will always be a mystery to us, but I am sure he needed a young soul like Rory to accomplish something great that only he could do. God bless all of you and give you peace of mind.

Report abuse

SusanO'Donnell | Apr 08, 2012, 06:37 PM EDT

Dear Niall, I for one can never thank you enough for your courage and honesty in opening up your broken heart to share your reminisces and dreams for Rory. When I heard the terrible news, my grief and shock were overwhelmingly for Ciaran, Orlaith, and young Kathleen - never having met Rory I felt tremendous sorrow at a young child's passing but could not begin to comprehend the depth of the loss. The more I read, the more I understand that this young man was truly, truly needed here - and not just by those who raised, loved, and taught him so well. Thanks to you I have a much keener understanding not only of the extraordinary life Rory led, but all the extraordinary lives he might have led. It is an unfathomable, unimaginable loss. Sharing his story, and the story of Rory's family's brokenness, grief, resilience and unbreakable loyalty, you have made sure that Rory's short life will be long remembered far beyond the hundreds of individuals he knew and touched so deeply. No uncle could have served his beloved nephew better. God bless, comfort and continue to give strength to you, Ciaran, Orlaith, and to all the Stauntons and O'Dowds.

Report abuse

Bridget Quinn | Apr 08, 2012, 06:13 PM EDT

A young life taken to soon, my prayers are with the family.

Report abuse

Brolaur | Apr 08, 2012, 05:04 PM EDT

Is Rory American or Irish American? I couldn't really make that out. Deepest sympathies. I can't even begin to imagine your grief and heartache. Ar Dheis Dé go bhfuil a anam.

Report abuse

bunkerhill | Apr 08, 2012, 01:05 PM EDT

God Bless all of you. We almost lost a son at three and when he recovered he told us a remarkable story for a three year old He had a ruptured appendix and had an emergency operation. He said terrified and he described being surrounded by people wearing masks. He thought he was going to be killed. Next he remembers floating over the table where he says a man was standing with his hands out. He asked if he could go with him but the man said "no, you have to go back as you have something to do." When you hear that from a three year old you have no doubt someone is waiting for you, and indeed was waiting to take Rory home.

Report abuse

RedBranch | Apr 08, 2012, 01:03 PM EDT

My condolences to the family.

Report abuse

KSERRAHN | Apr 08, 2012, 12:50 PM EDT

Love to all.. Kim Serrahn

Report abuse

Searlit | Apr 08, 2012, 11:32 AM EDT

@joma5004, you clearly want to involve yourself in these comments. So, read this... denying the grieving process will cause someone to become stuck at one of the stages - either denial, anger or grief (itself). That is why we care and why we continue to support Niall's whole family who are grieving. We grieve with them, as we have all lost loved ones.

Report abuse

SeamusMor | Apr 08, 2012, 11:31 AM EDT

I imagine that young Rory's first question upon realizing he was in Heaven was "Is President Kennedy here?" I hope and pray that the answer is "Yes."

Report abuse

donal1951 | Apr 08, 2012, 11:17 AM EDT

Mr O'Dowd. I am sorry you had to be subjected in your grief to a hateful post. It is clear to me Rory is a fine young lad who was equally at home in America and in County Mayo. He was a loss to his family, friends and a reminder to us all that life on this Earth can end suddenly without warning through no fault of the person who died. But as we end Holy Week with Easter Sunday we have a reminder that Rory still lives with Our Lord. This is a time also when the ancient rituals of the wake, the funeral Mass and the burial can help the survivors deal with their sorry. Again, my condolences to you, his parents and his entire family, both here and in Ireland. The V. Rev. Daniel Beegan

Report abuse

emorstscr | Apr 08, 2012, 10:35 AM EDT

Why are the dreadful posts of joma5004 allowed to appear? I do not understand, what is the purpose of this. The articles about this young boy are beautifully written and a moving tribute to a young boy's too short life.

Report abuse

mclichte | Apr 08, 2012, 10:16 AM EDT

joma5004 I can only say a prayer for you. That some day you will find compassion in your heart. In the mean time may I suggest if you have a problem with Mr. O'Dowd's articles, you DON'T CLICK ON THEM... Why put yourself through reading about something you clearly don't or won't understand.

Report abuse