NEW YORK BOSTON |#Popular: Irish Celebrity Gossip Irish in US Politics Irish Festivals Irish Roots Irish Entertainment Offbeat Irish

Home Page > Blogs > News blogs > People and Politics > Tragic death of father and child in West Cork raises depression issue - Irish men unable to admit they need help

People and Politics by Patrick Roberts

Tragic death of father and child in West Cork raises depression issue - Irish men unable to admit they need help

Posted on Saturday, March 09, 2013 at 07:17 AM

Larger Text

E-mail

28 Comments

See more: Irish News

RSS

Archives

Martin McCarthy in happier times photographed with his wife Rebecca Cejnar
and their child Clarissa (Photo: Daily Mail)

It began like a plot from a Maeve Binchy novel, a pretty Californian girl comes to Ireland and meets a handsome but lonely farmer in beautiful and remote Ballydehob in west Cork. They marry, have a child, and all live happily ever after.

Except in the case of Martin McCarthy and his California bride Rebecca Cejnar it all went horribly wrong when Martin drowned their little daughter Clarissa, just three years old, and then took his own life, allegedly because he and Rebecca were breaking up and she wanted to move back to California with their daughter.

The discovery of the death of the father and daughter raised once again the massive beast of undiagnosed depression in Ireland.

Michael McCarthy was clearly in considerable mental depression and it seems that, as happens often in rural Ireland, that pain was not diagnosed or was ignored.

We recently had a member of the Irish parliament take his own life in similar tragic circumstances. In distressed economic times it seems suicide and depression are stalking the land in Ireland and little enough is being done.

The West Cork farmer was a lifelong bachelor, and considerably older when he met the American woman looking for work and adventure in Ireland.

Friends described the moment he met her as ‘love at first sight’ as he described it to them when she arrived at his farm to take a work course. The romance blossomed.

But when we flash forward a few years the marriage encountered heavy storms. Perhaps it was the age difference, perhaps it was something else, we will never know.

We do know that Martin had heart problems and had apparently been obviously very depressed since Christmas according to close friends.

We do know the tragic events. It was a scene reminiscent of a much darker Irish work than a Maeve Binchy novel, such as J .B, Keane’s ‘The Field.’

Martin, increasingly distraught that his wife was going to leave and bring the child back to California after their marriage broke up, drowned little Clarissa in the cove behind his house and then drowned himself.

(Sadly, the fact is Clarissa had no passport, was an Irish citizen, and Martin could easily have successfully petitioned to keep her in Ireland.)

He left a rambling suicide note that sparked off a huge search when Rebecca came home and found them both gone.

Imagining the final moments of the little girl’s life is an awful exercise. Her trust implicit in her father, doubtless holding his hand tightly, he led her to her death in the most dreadful of circumstances, then killed himself.

Left behind is a destroyed family and a community in deep mourning for a tragic family whose story has touched so many hearts.

Yet, still the rough beast of undiagnosed and untreated depression continues to bedevil especially in rural Ireland where the usual refrain can be ‘ah just have a few drinks and you’ll be fine.”

Irish men are not expected to emote, to need to reach out to seek help. Alas, if they were we would probably not be discussing this dreadful tragedy and many others today.

See more: Irish News

E-mail

28 Comments

See all comments

Eireannach | Mar 13, 2013, 01:40 PM EDT

ANGLO NORMAN DO U KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT Ireland? It would appear sadly not. 'Centuries of alcohol abuse, and repression...' Sounds like you're writing about merry old England. For goodness sake stop embarrassing yourself and read some FACTS. Educate yourself - but that's too much like hard work eh??

Report abuse

anglo-norman | Mar 11, 2013, 04:01 PM EDT

StevenStar- Have you been for a check-up lately?

Report abuse

IrelandNorth | Mar 11, 2013, 03:38 PM EDT

Joe Glackin! Too true. Although no expert, I do believe that depression is most prevalent in sparsley populated rural areas, county Donegal in Ulster/northern Ireland being a case in point. Though like areas of Munster/southern Ireland proper and Connacht/western Ireland being not too far behid the national average. Leinster/eastern Ireland I think has the lowest. STEVENSTAR! YOU'RE NO MEAN POSTERER YERSELF, YA KNOW. ARE YA SHURE YER NOT PROJECTING ONTO POOR OLD ANGLO-NORMA, SON!

Report abuse

Joe Glackin | Mar 11, 2013, 02:11 PM EDT

@Ireland North.By all accounts,evidence and experiences, Id agree totally with your view and can see the Romans reasoning in using "Hibernia".There are areas in Irelands 32 counties where depression and suicide are very common. The victims did not try to use alcohol as a remedy as some misguided referred.The Health systems North or South havent got an upper one on each other regarding depression or suicide.Its good to hear constructive concern and opinion on these issues. I rem it being said to me that the victim would not be able to explain why he/she acted as such ,if they were saved or regained life . Its only a hairs breadth.

Report abuse

molliebawn | Mar 10, 2013, 10:30 PM EDT

Sorry Anglo-Norman,meant about a mile from the Northern border on the Southern side so Southern health care. I am not into defining health care be it North or South. I am just happy with our level of health care, as i'm sure any on the Northern side would be glad of theirs. You don't seem to worry about anyone's healhcare, kind of competition between North & South. I like 2 think i'm above immature bickering as to where good healhcare comes from just glad when it's good, & wanted to share my experience.

Report abuse

STEVENSTAR | Mar 10, 2013, 09:57 PM EDT

@@@anglo-norman | Mar 10, 2013, 04:18 PM....WE ACTUALLY HAVE A FANTASTC FREE HEALTH CARE SYSTEM IN IRELAND FAR BETTER THEN YOU'LL GET IN AMERICA....I'VE READ A FEW ARTICLES ON HERE FROM TODAY AND I SEE COMMENTS FROM YOU EVERYWHERE AGAIN :) I ASKED MYSELF DOES THAT GUY HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TO DO ON HIS WEEKEND OFF ON A SUNDAY THEN ALL DAY SITTING ON HIS COMPUTER POSTING SILLY BITCHY COMMENTS ABOUT THE IRISH ... OH WHAT A SAD MAN YOU MUST BE AND EVEN WORSE WHAT AN EVEN SADDER LIFE YOU MUST LEAD U BITTER OULD MAN !!

Report abuse

STEVENSTAR | Mar 10, 2013, 09:55 PM EDT

AS AN IRISHMAN LIVING OVER HERE IN IRELAND ...ID LIKE TO ASK THE AMERICAN PEOPLE ABOUT AMERICAN MEN & DO THEY NEED HELP?? ESPECIALLY THE ONES WHO GO AROUND WITH GUNS AND GO INTO SCHOOLS AND CINEMAS AND SHOPPING CENTERS AND RANDOMLY SHOOT AND KILL INNOCENT WOMEN AND CHIDLREN....>>? WHAT ABOUT THOSE PEOPLE AS AN IRISHMAN I SERIUOSLY THINK THAT IS A FAR WORSE PROBLEM AND IT NEEDS TO GET SORTED PRETTY FAST BEFORE IT HAPPENS AGAIN !!!

Report abuse

IrelandNorth | Mar 10, 2013, 04:47 PM EDT

"History is a nighmare from which I am trying to awaken!" - James Joyce. Incidentally, authentic spiritualities usually refer to self abnegation (egocide) to let the light shine through. Problem with people who take their own lives is that they take the wrong life, they mistake their bodies for their egos.

Report abuse

IrelandNorth | Mar 10, 2013, 04:42 PM EDT

EphraimKibbey! You're spot on about suicide being permanent solution to a temporary problem. A split-second later and he may have felt OK? Ireland is also reemerging out of a double millenium dosage of cryptotheocracy, where shame based confession is nbeing replace by reauthenticating psychotherapy. Depression is prevalent in other seasonaly affective disordered climates, polar regions with bipolar affective disorder. The Roman legions referred to Ireland as Hibernia/Land of Long Winters, as in hibernation. No ya know why they gave it a miss, and went back to Judea to wreck the Second Temple and work on their tans.

Report abuse

anglo-norman | Mar 10, 2013, 04:18 PM EDT

Look what the Irish did to their own HealthCare System.

Report abuse

anglo-norman | Mar 10, 2013, 04:02 PM EDT

Molliebawn- Are you grateful to the british Healthcare System then?

Report abuse

anglo-norman | Mar 10, 2013, 02:58 PM EDT

Sadly the Irish cure for depression is go out & get dangerously drunk & keep repeating that cycle.

Report abuse

anglo-norman | Mar 10, 2013, 02:41 PM EDT

First of all the mother in this deserves all the goodwill she can get. Centuries of domination by a repressive catholic church & centuries of alcohol abuse is the major cause of depression in Ireland, & yes that climate doesn't help.

Report abuse

Joe Glackin | Mar 10, 2013, 10:30 AM EDT

Anyone who belittles or stigmatizes depression are unbelievably ignorant on a very common dangerous disease. Depression is widespread and if you suffer or know someone who does ,youl understand. The kick up the rear end is long gone as a remedy.

Report abuse

esatdigiwank | Mar 10, 2013, 07:37 AM EDT

Remember that Wexford case. As far as I recall, both man and wife were special needs individuals. This was surely doomed. They should not have embarked on a relationship or have children together. This kind of set-up is actively discouraged in any right-thinking country. Oh, and mental health difficulty can also be under-pinned by undiagnosed Attention Deficit; Ire is poxed with it!

Report abuse