Why Irishmen badly need to grow up -- Mammy’s Boys compare badly with American guys
By: Gaelic Girl Catelyn | Published Wednesday, June 12, 2013, 2:11 PM | Updated Wednesday, June 12, 2013, 2:11 PM
Dublin: To me, as an American woman in Ireland, Irishmen never grow up.
Everything with most of the men (or boys, rather) that I have met here is "for a laugh" and a "skit," which basically means that if you’re not laughing at yourself or your friends doing stupid, immature things, then you’re a right bore!
Excuse me while I try to distinguish between the twelve-year-old boy in you and the grown man you’re supposed to be.
Many encounters have confirmed my doubts about these Irish man-boys. They may look like men on the outside, but underneath it all they’re a bunch of spoiled, rotten teenagers looking for a woman to play “Mammy.”
On a recent shopping excursion, I met an Irish mother of 55 who admitted that she had "ruined" her son. You see, I can be a little nosy and I was curious as to why she was shopping in the men’s department. She didn’t appear to be on the same mission as I (searching for oversized, button-down shirts) and, unless she had a 20-something year old boy toy, the place was a bit too young and trendy for the romantic interest in her life. Anyway, this woman has raised four girls, all with very strict guidelines who have all gone on to be successes in their respective careers, and one boy, that she, in her own words let “get away with murder." (By the way, that is only an expression, he didn’t really kill anyone.)
Apparently this isn’t uncommon though - Irish mothers always being critical of their own daughters, but placing their sons on the highest of pedestals, catering to their every whim. I’m told by most Irish people, male and female, that "The Mammy" is the most important woman in every Irishman’s life and that if you dare cross her by pointing out any flaws in "her son," you’ll be soon shown the door.
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Read more stories from the Gaelic Girls on IrishCentralIrish mother tells how she helped her sick daughter die - VIDEOIrish lives could be saved - if we eat like the EnglishAmerican men, on the other hand, accept responsibility for their actions, are taught by our society that you need to "step up and be a man" and it’s for that reason, I hold them in such high esteem. (American men would also never be caught dead in the tight jeans Irish boys seem to be rockin’ all over town here; however, that’s for another day.)
What’s more, I have never heard of any American man in his late twenties running to his mother with his laundry once a week or showing up late at night knowing that he was going to be fed a feast by his doting mama. And having your mother buy clothes for you? I’m not sure if we’d consider that worse than actually living with her, but either way, you can pretty much count on not getting laid for quite a while.
No, I fear if I ended up with an Irishman, I’d be expected to keep on the tradition of "molly coddling" him, not only by the man himself, but also by the Holy Mother herself.
And what about manners? These boys are so rude. American men recognize the effort women put in to getting dressed for a night out. They compliment women, not insult them.
One of the idiots that Maggie and I met the other night had the audacity to look me up and down and say, “Did you buy that?” Thinking he may have a brain in his head and appreciate the one-piece, navy-blue, silk jumpsuit that I had spent a fortune on in NYC, I smiled and answered “Yes, it’s new.” He frowned and then responded, “And were you happy with your purchase?” They all erupted into laughter. Seriously, I can take a joke but that was just mean!
American men, keep up your sense of pride and dignity with your independence and achievements, I promise I’ll be faithful to you... unless I’m proven wrong by an Irishman who wants to take me out after reading this article!
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Switch to the desktop site to post a comment.ciaradexy | Nov 10, 2011, 06:07 PM EST
Irish men are immature. I know several in their late 30s and early 40s who still live at home. I know others who rent but who get their mam to do their washing.
REALISTGUY | Nov 08, 2011, 08:44 PM EST
I believe women rule world and if a great place like Ireland would just drop the whole satc culture and get real ,men would follow,but we Irish still have a hell of alot going for us, and still a relatively young country with a big spirit,we just need to shut out the dumbing down TV culture and evolve our own way
REALISTGUY | Nov 08, 2011, 08:15 PM EST
Don't waste time trying to find or create the perfect partner. If you invest time in creating the best YOU, not only will the right person will come along, but you will lose your pull and attraction to the wrong type of person,so guys stay away from girly girl types who are prone to believe the Empowering female negitive writers and crap Tv shows and girls stay away from unevolved living in the past type men
REALISTGUY | Nov 08, 2011, 08:04 PM EST
come on
REALISTGUY | Nov 08, 2011, 07:41 PM EST
Maybe some Irish guys are mammy's boys and in general men everywhere need to evolve and start stepping up and making some changes... not only for the women in their lives, but mostly for themselves,but It's very hard to connect with some women these's days,you know the type that reads Glossy Magazine,loves american TV shows like satc,has strong opinions on men but they Themselves have very weak characters, probably sweet girls deep down but their heads have being filled with so much mostly American Garbage,from a small amount of bitter women writers, Etc,I see this type of personality disorder emerging alot in Ireland and I avoid these women like the plague,real men like real women at the end of the day,and for the pussywhipped men who fall for this type,It's probably a good lesson for the future,anyway most Irish women are fantastic when you get to know them,and women from spain are the best because they seem to be realist's and don't buy into this girly culture crap,They know how to get repect from men,advice don't buy into the fake empowering books, activities and thinking, It doesn't stand a snowball's chance of making you happy,be real and open your eyes and be positive because that's the type of women who really gets it all
readabook | Nov 08, 2011, 06:11 PM EST
Sirpeter,that's some mighty impressive statistics you've compiled there. Of course you failed mention that Divorce did not become legal in Ireland until Feb 1997 while it's always been legal in the US and alive and well in Europe since the Protestant Reformation and Irish Divorce continues to be subject to stringent conditions as one of 5 alternatives to ending a marriage but there are only 2 out of those 5 alternatives (annullment or divorce) only allow for remarriage after 4 -5 years, so your stats by way of comparison are a bit incomplete,don't you think ? I'm not aware of how this modernized but still archaic law promotes the Sanctity of Marriage till or the Welfare of Children except in a "Hostage" sense. I'm a divorced American father of two daughters since 1991 (Guess I shouldn't be in your "study" ) and while it was ugly and hurtful (most are) but not all marriages are worth saving but today my ex and I share two loving and accomplished daughters,two new grandaughters,a wonderful son in law and his extended family all in the same room at the same time. You not only didn't read 1/2 of Catelyn's letter,you apparently don't read much of anything before posting your comments."OOPS"
TiocfaidhArmani | Nov 08, 2011, 08:10 AM EST
We do love our mothers though, nothing wrong with that. I think you need to be a proper man in that you love and respect your mother. Don't wanna be molly coddled but nothing beats your mothers cooking. Catelyn, I hope I bump into you in town sometime!
McSpartacus | Nov 08, 2011, 07:59 AM EST
You seem to have hit a nerve, Catelyn!
Troops4Paul | Nov 08, 2011, 01:41 AM EST
When is the last time you were in the States? The problem seems to be on both sides of the pond. Read the article below yesterday. "Have We Raised An Entire Generation Of Young Men That Do Not Know How To Be Men?" http://endoftheamericandream.com/archives/have-we-raised-an-entire-generation-of-young-men-that-do-not-know-how-to-be-men
mamaginnty | Nov 07, 2011, 03:18 PM EST
Readabook...I thank you for giving that warning, keeps my daughters and sons from ending up in a divorce court.
Alexis14 | Nov 07, 2011, 02:57 PM EST
I will give her one thing, my mother was definitely much harder on us girls than the boys, at least academically. All three of us girl are college graduates, not one of the four boys. But we ALL learned to cook & clean & be polite. Never been to Ireland, but my dad was a hard worker as well as my grandfathers (who were the immigrants to America w/my grandmothers). All the Irish boyfriends, uncles, cousins, in-laws I've ever had were very nice & mature (except 1 - there's always one lol). Unfortunately for me I married an Italian. Talk about your 'mama's boy' - I tried & couldn't take it anymore after 10 years, so bye-bye. I'd take an Irish man any day over that. Also, if u see ANY grown man running home to mommy so she can do his laundry, run - don't walk - in the other direction!! (Unless he's doing it himself & just needs the appliances)
sirpeter | Nov 07, 2011, 01:56 PM EST
I read half it and couldn't read anymore.I realise now why there is so much divorce in the States.I could educate you Catelyn but frankly I couldn't be bothered.But I'll let the facts speak for themselves on weather Irishmen/women are more successful at keeping a relationship going than American men/women.Of course it doesn't matter what type of relationship or with whom.Keeping any relationship going is a skill that is given to their children by parent's.A skill Americans are almost the worst in the world at.Here is some facts as to why ye fail.1. Half of all American children will witness the breakup of a parent’s marriage. Of these, close to half will also see the breakup of a parent’s second marriage.” 2. Among the millions of children who have seen their parents divorce, one of every 10 will also live through three or more parental marriage breakups3. Forty percent of children growing up in America today are being raised without their fathers. 4. Of all children born to married parents this year, fifty percent will experience the divorce of their parents before they reach their 18th birthday.With those stats it's best you be quiet as you haven't a clue about the dynamics of Irish family relationships.But one thing is sure Irish women/men are a lot better at it then ye lot.I will give you one good piece of advice.In this life generally what you give is what you get.Think about it.
sirpeter | Nov 07, 2011, 01:47 PM EST
I read half it and couldn't read anymore.I realise now why there is so much divorce in the States.I could educate you Catelyn but frankly I couldn't be bothered.But I'll let the facts speak for themselves on weather Irishmen/women are more successful at keeping a relationship going than American men/women.Of course it doesn't matter what type of relationship or with whom.Keeping any relationship going is a skill that is given to their children by parent's.A skill Americans are almost the worst in the world at.Here is some facts as to why ye fail.1. Half of all American children will witness the breakup of a parent’s marriage. Of these, close to half will also see the breakup of a parent’s second marriage.” (Furstenberg, Peterson, Nord, and Zill, “Life Course”)2. Among the millions of children who have seen their parents divorce, one of every 10 will also live through three or more parental marriage breakups. (The Abolition of Marriage, Gallagher)3. Forty percent of children growing up in America today are being raised without their fathers. (Wade, Horn and Busy, “Fathers, Marriage and Welfare Reform” Hudson Institute Executive Briefing, 1997)4. Of all children born to married parents this year, fifty percent will experience the divorce of their parents before they reach their 18th birthday. (Fagan, Fitzgerald, Rector, “The Effects of Divorce On America)With those stats it's best you be quiet as you haven't a clue about the dynamics of Irish family relationships.But one thing is sure Irish women/men are a lot better at it then ye lot.
McSpartacus | Nov 07, 2011, 06:32 AM EST
Catelyn: you need to have a few zingers lined up to deal with rude fellows like this (which will score you much cred with both sexes). Your article already has such choice smack-down material - eg: "at least I buy my own clothes, Mammy's Boy"; "at least it's clean - what's the matter with yours? Mammy not do laundry this week, wussums?". You've have the basis of the stereotype - we all know it too - so go for the jugular, woman! Also: you know how Japanese exchange students dress weirdly in the US? That's how Americans can look in Ireland. Doesn't matter if it's the in-thing in Osaka or New York - the local yokels are always going to think the outsider looks strange. So be prepared, and take no prisoners. Of course the boys will get snotty - but the men will treat it like catnip. The more matter-of-fact your tone, the more effective it is...
readabook | Nov 06, 2011, 10:35 PM EST
And you, Mamaginnity, are the type of motherinlaw we American Fathers warn our daughters about.
mamaginnty | Nov 06, 2011, 09:25 PM EST
Such dribble from a young woman who seems to think she is gods gift to men, some nerve to approach a stranger and ask who she is buying for. Then take it she was talking about all irish men, she was taking the mick out of you too. You don't get the irish wit of our young men, he probably really wanted to say " where the hell did you get that awful outfit " But you being such a prude have to let us know it was silk and expensive so they should all have loved it. You should count yourself lucky that you have not had a run in with our irish girls, they would soon knock that " I'm so perfect " attitude. A little irish saying for you Catelyn " you are the type of woman that we irish mothers warn our sons about " Ah lordy, sometimes I love being a bitchy old irish mother.
Mercenary | Nov 06, 2011, 04:19 PM EST
Hi Catelyn. I was wondering if the final sentence in your blog is a rhetorical statement or an open challenge. If it's the former, all I can say is that your article is incisive and well-written (although as an Irish male, I can't comment objectively). If it's the later, I'd like to take you up on it. I'm based in Cork and my e-mail address is jhscannell@gmail.com
ARosePierini | Nov 06, 2011, 02:41 PM EST
As a Gaelic Girl in Cork I would heartily disagree with this. As an American woman, I know the boys back home are just as bad or worse... in fact I live with three of them in my six person flat, who just cant seem to get along with a weekly package from mama. Boys are boys no matter where you go in the world. There is no magic formula or distant place in the universe that beholds the perfect man. WE are all humans.
readabook | Nov 06, 2011, 11:57 AM EST
RebelFarce,I'm sure Catelyn can "get laid" whenever she wants by whoemver she wants and your crude comments about her "frustrations" sounds like you may be projecting your own for NOT being able to "get laid" by her or any other woman ,regardless of nationality. Having interracted with you and Captaincon on other blogs it's obvious that your bigotry is universal, in this case toward Women,while disguising it as an "American Thing". No amount of your's and Captain Con's Flap Jawed,Rambling Monologues can disguise the fact that you always need someone to blame for whatever ails you.Perhaps you have an over indulgent Mammy who always reassured you that "it wasn't your own fault" and in looking back she may have her regrets,too.
JOLIEJO | Nov 06, 2011, 02:53 AM EST
I hope that everyone is as sick of all this comparison as I am. Lord, I’d rather read about the weather than this obsession Irish Central has with comparing every aspect of the Irish to that of Americans. Now let’s see, the first Gaelic Girl wrote that American fathers didn’t stack up well against Irish fathers. The second Gaelic Girl wrote that Irish women dressed up better when going out than American women did. Now another one of the Celtic Girls them wrote that compared to American men, Irish men were very immature. Will someone please tell me how many Celtic Girls there are?
billie061 | Nov 05, 2011, 10:23 PM EDT
P.S. A warning 4 of those brats live in the states.
billie061 | Nov 05, 2011, 10:19 PM EDT
Belive me I agree, I am the eldest of ten, after me came 8 boys, the most spoiled brats ever, out of the 8 boys I think only 1 now I have a good connection and he's only staying on good terms with cos I mind his precious harley. My sister is the baby but she didn't arrive until I was 18. So what do you do with 8 mollycollded bros, You kick the hell out of them. My Dad still says he wishes he'd had 10 daughters and he now heading for 77, he was a building construter and hell broke loose in our house on any holidays, cos he would take the lads to work with him but leave me at home. But Mammy always looked after her boys. My friends still joke I wasn't allowed out of the house without at least six of them behind me. And belive me they came running when ma was on the warpath. between them getting drunk, needing the local std clinic, and getting girlfriends pregnant, or marraige break-ups it was always will u tell Ma. But guess what I LOVE THEM ALL.
JBeePhotography | Nov 05, 2011, 08:53 PM EDT
I'm confused here are american boys in Ireland now ? I find that the Irish men I met were by far very polite. Guess you must have had the unknown area of Ireland. I find the men were very nice to me. I'm on my way back again.
McNamara31 | Nov 05, 2011, 07:53 PM EDT
Hey American woman in Ireland...It's not polite to dis the host country, or it's men, or their mom's.
manhattan | Nov 05, 2011, 03:38 PM EDT
We Americans don't like it when we are insulted by people from another country, then why these stupid columns insulting Irish men? They are in their country as a guest and should act like one. They should go to Italy where it is the norm to be a Momma's boy.
azcowgirl | Nov 05, 2011, 02:43 PM EDT
I'm an American, married to an Irish man and living in Ireland. I haven't read one article by these young, immature, naïve American girls that hasn’t made me duck my head and cover my eyes and pray that they would just shut up and grow up. At least my friends and neighbours, hopefully, have an example that all American women aren’t selfish, self-serving, spoiled brats.
bob40wil | Nov 05, 2011, 02:09 PM EDT
timbobdennehy, actually that's not a true statement, wee have our fair share of idiots that's for sure but most of us aren't idiots, unfair assement on your part.
bogsidebunny | Nov 05, 2011, 02:04 PM EDT
Yup, the lady is correct. Irish men are juvenile, infantile and just plain unevolved socially. The favourite sport of the 20-something lads is sitting in the pub and slagging anyone and everyone. Then after they've drunk their fill it's time to spin some road signs around. That includes "stop" signs as well as street signs. Then maybe a little spin around the countryside at 4:00 AM doing 100 kph in 50 kph zones. Unlike the thai massage parlours there are usually NO "happy endings". Grow up lads!
jimmybb | Nov 05, 2011, 01:22 PM EDT
captain con very well said as this girl obviousally hasnt a clue as she dosent get irish humor maybe in 10 yrs she'll look back on what she wrote when she gets out in the world of paying her own way n not living off her wealthy parents who spoiled the crap out of her as an naturalised american now she gives america a bad name an we wonder why the country is in the toilet if all our education system is producing gulliable teenagers with no commonsense tis no wonder the usa is the laughing stock of the world
RichardP | Nov 05, 2011, 01:05 PM EDT
Yawn! More patronizing drivel from an American 'expert' in all things bright and beautiful
seanmac50 | Nov 05, 2011, 11:57 AM EDT
This article catches the eye, but is completely untrue. Many Irishmen especially in rural Ireland have to leave home first for college, and later to work. Some have to emigrate. Most young men I know are self confident and independent. I suspect the article is due to the new Yank in Ireland, who cannot understand our humor.
Rebelforce | Nov 05, 2011, 11:49 AM EDT
Catielyn gets her wittle feelings hurt over a joking remark by an Irish guy about her brand new "one-piece, navy-blue, silk jumpsuit" and so she decides to get revenge by writing a bitter screed about how "immature" ALL Irishmen are. Please Catielyn, it doesn't get much more infantile than having an ALL American guys "good"----ALL Irish guys "bad"----way of thinking. If you're frustrated about not getting laid by Irish guys, maybe it's because they're turned off by your "my sh*t don't stink" diva attitude.
jamieLM | Nov 05, 2011, 11:07 AM EDT
@CaptainCon, you make it sound like all American women think and act alike - they don't. You can only speak, with any authority, about the women you personally met in the U.S. and you didn't meet all of us. There are cultural and regional differences here, too. Miss Catelyn is expressing HER point of view from HER personal experience, whether you agree with it or not. She can't speak for all Am. women or men, either, without generalizing. Her opinions about the behavior of Irish men and their mothers is just that - her own.
tippboy | Nov 05, 2011, 10:57 AM EDT
Excellent points and very true!
readabook | Nov 05, 2011, 10:56 AM EDT
So CaptainCon. Where does your "Mammy" buy your clothes,before she washes and irons them? Your comments why "Irish Women" also prefer us American Males. We adore them, too except for having to put up with their "boorish" fathers and brothers. It's not too late to heed what this American Woman is trying to tell you. It might even help you "Get Lucky" once in a while.
Springfield9 | Nov 05, 2011, 10:26 AM EDT
Oddly enough,Irish women have a long list of virtues listed, today, in American History.
CaptainCon | Nov 05, 2011, 10:06 AM EDT
Ah- the migration of the sulky response on internet forums to the international gender debate- the opponent should 'grow up'. Apart from the fact that this lady has not attuned culturally to the Irish sense of humour; (the crack about the navy blue silk jumpsuit was a challenge expecting a wisecrack response but of course draw a horrified reaction from a person who invests her clothes purchases with the attributes and in place of a real personality). Having lived and worked in the States I could not help but notice that American women are functionally lazy when it comes to relationships- unless there is a puppy dog amenability in the man she has decided should be her admirer then there must be something wrong with him. This is a stage of American womanhood between teenage selfishness and Percodan middle-aged oblivion punctuated only by consumer purchases and a stepping stone on the way to the second American female childhood of their forties and fifties when they start doing mad stuff with make-up and girlish ribbons in their hair in a poor effort to ward off maturity. Irish men, like the best of Irish women, have a habit of zeroing in on pretence and the ego and how you respond to the cheeky observation determines whether you have a sharp wit and sense of humour or not. What do you want? A drooling application from a servant who tells you what you want to hear in the form of compliments or someone who you can engage with as an intellectual equal? My advice to this lady is to stick with the obsequious Harveys of Illinois who will obey with the compliments you can never trust. Cultural misunderstandings from the American woman who holds it as a transgression of her human rights when the world does not revere her as she wishes. Put away the ego, sweetheart, at the back of the cupboard with your silk submariner's uniform and let your mind and wit find you your partner.
timbobdennehy | Nov 05, 2011, 09:48 AM EDT
yes but americans are idiots,so whats your point.