Why Irishmen badly need to grow up -- Mammy’s Boys compare badly with American guys
Posted on Saturday, November 05, 2011 at 05:27 AM
RSS 
Recent Posts
- Irish wedding parties are not for the faint of heart - Americans could learn a thing or two
- Why Irishmen badly need to grow up -- Mammy’s Boys compare badly with American guys
- Gaelic Girls in Dublin - Catelyn’s first impression of fashion in Dublin
Archives
Dublin: To me, as an American woman in Ireland, Irishmen never grow up.
Everything with most of the men (or boys, rather) that I have met here is "for a laugh" and a "skit," which basically means that if you’re not laughing at yourself or your friends doing stupid, immature things, then you’re a right bore!
Excuse me while I try to distinguish between the twelve-year-old boy in you and the grown man you’re supposed to be.
Many encounters have confirmed my doubts about these Irish man-boys. They may look like men on the outside, but underneath it all they’re a bunch of spoiled, rotten teenagers looking for a woman to play “Mammy.”
On a recent shopping excursion, I met an Irish mother of 55 who admitted that she had "ruined" her son. You see, I can be a little nosy and I was curious as to why she was shopping in the men’s department. She didn’t appear to be on the same mission as I (searching for oversized, button-down shirts) and, unless she had a 20-something year old boy toy, the place was a bit too young and trendy for the romantic interest in her life. Anyway, this woman has raised four girls, all with very strict guidelines who have all gone on to be successes in their respective careers, and one boy, that she, in her own words let “get away with murder." (By the way, that is only an expression, he didn’t really kill anyone.)
Apparently this isn’t uncommon though - Irish mothers always being critical of their own daughters, but placing their sons on the highest of pedestals, catering to their every whim. I’m told by most Irish people, male and female, that "The Mammy" is the most important woman in every Irishman’s life and that if you dare cross her by pointing out any flaws in "her son," you’ll be soon shown the door.
READ MORE:
Read more stories from the Gaelic Girls on IrishCentral
Irish mother tells how she helped her sick daughter die - VIDEO
Irish lives could be saved - if we eat like the English
American men, on the other hand, accept responsibility for their actions, are taught by our society that you need to "step up and be a man" and it’s for that reason, I hold them in such high esteem. (American men would also never be caught dead in the tight jeans Irish boys seem to be rockin’ all over town here; however, that’s for another day.)
What’s more, I have never heard of any American man in his late twenties running to his mother with his laundry once a week or showing up late at night knowing that he was going to be fed a feast by his doting mama. And having your mother buy clothes for you? I’m not sure if we’d consider that worse than actually living with her, but either way, you can pretty much count on not getting laid for quite a while.
No, I fear if I ended up with an Irishman, I’d be expected to keep on the tradition of "molly coddling" him, not only by the man himself, but also by the Holy Mother herself.
And what about manners? These boys are so rude. American men recognize the effort women put in to getting dressed for a night out. They compliment women, not insult them.
One of the idiots that Maggie and I met the other night had the audacity to look me up and down and say, “Did you buy that?” Thinking he may have a brain in his head and appreciate the one-piece, navy-blue, silk jumpsuit that I had spent a fortune on in NYC, I smiled and answered “Yes, it’s new.” He frowned and then responded, “And were you happy with your purchase?” They all erupted into laughter. Seriously, I can take a joke but that was just mean!
American men, keep up your sense of pride and dignity with your independence and achievements, I promise I’ll be faithful to you... unless I’m proven wrong by an Irishman who wants to take me out after reading this article!
38 comments
Next
Page 1 of 3 pages
REALISTGUY | Nov 08, 2011, 08:44 PM EST
I believe women rule world and if a great place like Ireland would just drop the whole satc culture and get real ,men would follow,but we Irish still have a hell of alot going for us, and still a relatively young country with a big spirit,we just need to shut out the dumbing down TV culture and evolve our own way
Report abuse
REALISTGUY | Nov 08, 2011, 08:15 PM EST
Don't waste time trying to find or create the perfect partner. If you invest time in creating the best YOU, not only will the right person will come along, but you will lose your pull and attraction to the wrong type of person,so guys stay away from girly girl types who are prone to believe the Empowering female negitive writers and crap Tv shows and girls stay away from unevolved living in the past type men
Report abuse
REALISTGUY | Nov 08, 2011, 08:04 PM EST
come on
Report abuse
REALISTGUY | Nov 08, 2011, 07:41 PM EST
Maybe some Irish guys are mammy's boys and in general men everywhere need to evolve and start stepping up and making some changes... not only for the women in their lives, but mostly for themselves,but It's very hard to connect with some women these's days,you know the type that reads Glossy Magazine,loves american TV shows like satc,has strong opinions on men but they Themselves have very weak characters, probably sweet girls deep down but their heads have being filled with so much mostly American Garbage,from a small amount of bitter women writers, Etc,I see this type of personality disorder emerging alot in Ireland and I avoid these women like the plague,real men like real women at the end of the day,and for the pussywhipped men who fall for this type,It's probably a good lesson for the future,anyway most Irish women are fantastic when you get to know them,and women from spain are the best because they seem to be realist's and don't buy into this girly culture crap,They know how to get repect from men,advice don't buy into the fake empowering books, activities and thinking, It doesn't stand a snowball's chance of making you happy,be real and open your eyes and be positive because that's the type of women who really gets it all
Report abuse
readabook | Nov 08, 2011, 06:11 PM EST
Sirpeter,that's some mighty impressive statistics you've compiled there. Of course you failed mention that Divorce did not become legal in Ireland until Feb 1997 while it's always been legal in the US and alive and well in Europe since the Protestant Reformation and Irish Divorce continues to be subject to stringent conditions as one of 5 alternatives to ending a marriage but there are only 2 out of those 5 alternatives (annullment or divorce) only allow for remarriage after 4 -5 years, so your stats by way of comparison are a bit incomplete,don't you think ? I'm not aware of how this modernized but still archaic law promotes the Sanctity of Marriage till or the Welfare of Children except in a "Hostage" sense. I'm a divorced American father of two daughters since 1991 (Guess I shouldn't be in your "study" ) and while it was ugly and hurtful (most are) but not all marriages are worth saving
but today my ex and I share two loving and accomplished daughters,two new grandaughters,a wonderful son in law and his extended family all in the same room at the same time. You not only didn't read 1/2 of Catelyn's letter,you apparently don't read much of anything before posting your comments."OOPS"
Report abuse
TiocfaidhArmani | Nov 08, 2011, 08:10 AM EST
We do love our mothers though, nothing wrong with that. I think you need to be a proper man in that you love and respect your mother. Don't wanna be molly coddled but nothing beats your mothers cooking.
Catelyn, I hope I bump into you in town sometime!
Report abuse
McSpartacus | Nov 08, 2011, 07:59 AM EST
You seem to have hit a nerve, Catelyn!
Report abuse
Troops4Paul | Nov 08, 2011, 01:41 AM EST
When is the last time you were in the States? The problem seems to be on both sides of the pond. Read the article below yesterday.
"Have We Raised An Entire Generation Of Young Men That Do Not Know How To Be Men?"
http://endoftheamericandream.com/archives/have-we-raised-an-entire-generation-of-young-men-that-do-not-know-how-to-be-men
Report abuse
mamaginnty | Nov 07, 2011, 03:18 PM EST
Readabook...I thank you for giving that warning, keeps my daughters and sons from ending up in a divorce court.
Report abuse
Alexis14 | Nov 07, 2011, 02:57 PM EST
I will give her one thing, my mother was definitely much harder on us girls than the boys, at least academically. All three of us girl are college graduates, not one of the four boys. But we ALL learned to cook & clean & be polite. Never been to Ireland, but my dad was a hard worker as well as my grandfathers (who were the immigrants to America w/my grandmothers). All the Irish boyfriends, uncles, cousins, in-laws I've ever had were very nice & mature (except 1 - there's always one lol). Unfortunately for me I married an Italian. Talk about your 'mama's boy' - I tried & couldn't take it anymore after 10 years, so bye-bye. I'd take an Irish man any day over that. Also, if u see ANY grown man running home to mommy so she can do his laundry, run - don't walk - in the other direction!! (Unless he's doing it himself & just needs the appliances)
Report abuse
sirpeter | Nov 07, 2011, 01:56 PM EST
I read half it and couldn't read anymore.I realise now why there is so much divorce in the States.I could educate you Catelyn but frankly I couldn't be bothered.But I'll let the facts speak for themselves on weather Irishmen/women are more successful at keeping a relationship going than American men/women.Of course it doesn't matter what type of relationship or with whom.Keeping any relationship going is a skill that is given to their children by parent's.A skill Americans are almost the worst in the world at.Here is some facts as to why ye fail.1. Half of all American children will witness the breakup of a parent’s marriage. Of these, close to half will also see the breakup of a parent’s second marriage.” 2. Among the millions of children who have seen their parents divorce, one of every 10 will also live through three or more parental marriage breakups3. Forty percent of children growing up in America today are being raised without their fathers. 4. Of all children born to married parents this year, fifty percent will experience the divorce of their parents before they reach their 18th birthday.With those stats it's best you be quiet as you haven't a clue about the dynamics of Irish family relationships.But one thing is sure Irish women/men are a lot better at it then ye lot.I will give you one good piece of advice.In this life generally what you give is what you get.Think about it.
Report abuse
sirpeter | Nov 07, 2011, 01:47 PM EST
I read half it and couldn't read anymore.I realise now why there is so much divorce in the States.I could educate you Catelyn but frankly I couldn't be bothered.But I'll let the facts speak for themselves on weather Irishmen/women are more successful at keeping a relationship going than American men/women.Of course it doesn't matter what type of relationship or with whom.Keeping any relationship going is a skill that is given to their children by parent's.A skill Americans are almost the worst in the world at.Here is some facts as to why ye fail.1. Half of all American children will witness the breakup of a parent’s marriage. Of these, close to half will also see the breakup of a parent’s second marriage.” (Furstenberg, Peterson, Nord, and Zill, “Life Course”)2. Among the millions of children who have seen their parents divorce, one of every 10 will also live through three or more parental marriage breakups. (The Abolition of Marriage, Gallagher)3. Forty percent of children growing up in America today are being raised without their fathers. (Wade, Horn and Busy, “Fathers, Marriage and Welfare Reform” Hudson Institute Executive Briefing, 1997)4. Of all children born to married parents this year, fifty percent will experience the divorce of their parents before they reach their 18th birthday. (Fagan, Fitzgerald, Rector, “The Effects of Divorce On America)With those stats it's best you be quiet as you haven't a clue about the dynamics of Irish family relationships.But one thing is sure Irish women/men are a lot better at it then ye lot.
Report abuse
McSpartacus | Nov 07, 2011, 06:32 AM EST
Catelyn: you need to have a few zingers lined up to deal with rude fellows like this (which will score you much cred with both sexes). Your article already has such choice smack-down material - eg: "at least I buy my own clothes, Mammy's Boy"; "at least it's clean - what's the matter with yours? Mammy not do laundry this week, wussums?". You've have the basis of the stereotype - we all know it too - so go for the jugular, woman! Also: you know how Japanese exchange students dress weirdly in the US? That's how Americans can look in Ireland. Doesn't matter if it's the in-thing in Osaka or New York - the local yokels are always going to think the outsider looks strange. So be prepared, and take no prisoners. Of course the boys will get snotty - but the men will treat it like catnip. The more matter-of-fact your tone, the more effective it is...
Report abuse
readabook | Nov 06, 2011, 10:35 PM EST
And you, Mamaginnity, are the type of motherinlaw we American Fathers warn our daughters about.
Report abuse
Next
Page 1 of 3 pages
38 Comments


Report abuse