The Keane Edge


The Keane Edge by Brendan Patrick Keane

Corny versus cosmopolitan, Rachel Maddow takes-on Christine O'Donnell (with a vibrator !?)

Posted on Thursday, September 16, 2010 at 11:46 AM

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Don't rub-out masturbation metaphors lightly. That's what I've learned this news cycle.

I had written quite generally about theory-heads always tying-in their specialty with everything else. You can read my wanky piece here.

masturbation was "in the air" that news cycle. So was the Delaware race where Christine O'Donnell beat the much more ethical candidate--Mike Castle--with slanderous lies. Rachel Maddow responded when news came live on-air of the defeat, and with it showed a clip of Christine O'Donnell from many years ago. In it, O'Donnell talks like a goodie-two-shoes not much older than 20.

I think we all know that masturbation is not a campaign issue. Whatever the reasoning, the tactic to criticize sexual mores is wrong.

Christian-heads are a sweetly prudish segment of American society. They dress neatly and mean well, always tying-in their thing with everything else.

There's no need to get all serious on virgins like O'Donnell for being out-spoken virgins. Teasing-out a politician's masturbatory thoughts is best left in the masterful hand of Stephen Colbert.

Instead of being funny or substantive, Maddow would prefer to psychoanalyze the corny virgin right. This kind of more-worldly approach will only end-up hurting the plain corny feelings of Americans like O'Donnell seems to represent.

Soccer moms are corny. McDonalds is corny. 1776 imagery is corny. America is corny. Sarah Palin's voice is corny. Corny is the flavor of populist movements.

American cities, on the other hand, are cosmopolitan bastions where people are perfectly comfortable to masturbate and God damn it, talk about it too.

America knows all about the cities. They know all about how we masturbate here in New York. They masturbate right along with us at home on TV, and then go to church on Sunday to get a dose of repression. Cities use "the office" for our repressive training. O'Donnell's chastity may unbelievably be absolute in public presentation, but young women respond differently to the culture's demand that they "be sexy."

Taking-on this candidate about masturbation prudishness will only reduce O'Donnell to something like a pornographic image of chastity. It will remind us that she's corny, but that will only make her more popular among people disciplined enough to do that corny thing called "voting."


22 comments

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Maddows "tactic" is to point out that O'Donnell is a theocrat who wants to police people's bedrooms. That's actually worth pointing out.
Maddow is sweet on the both of them.
hollowbutt...stuck that foot in the same old place once more.
hollabackgurl: We're talking about Maddow's response, not mine. Don't scold me for not attacking O'Donnell properly. That wasn't my article. Maddow's angle was my article. Maddow's going for masturbation attacks. SHE said nothing about the stuff you're saying. If O'Donnell's sister is gay, I doubt she's as anti-gay as you say. I'm not analyzing O'Donnell. I'm analyzing Maddow's tactic against O'Donnell.
I can only assume you're winding us all up, or the topic doesn't interest you - how else to explain your conclusions? Was Christine O'Donnell being "a sweetly prudish segment of American society" when she stated that people with AIDS shouldn't be called "victims" since contracting the disease was their own fault? Did you know that an entire generation of young men died by the hundreds of thousands in America and there was "sweetly corny" Christine telling them they had it coming? If you contracted HIV would you see the corny fun in her tone? I think she's a genuinely hateful, bigoted a-hole. You shouldn't give her a pass because you haven't done your research. O'Donnell says that women should be barred from the US military. She says they're a distraction. She says that gay people are an abomination (ask your gay friends how sweet they think that is). She won the vote by gay-baiting her opponent, something even Karl Rove though too much. Her sister, by the way, is a lesbian. How 'sweet' is it to trash your own family just to get ahead?
I never spell check. I'd forget how to spell if I did. I obviously don't write about masturbation enough. I much prefer masterbation as a spelling, and in this case, as with all cases of conflict with Oxford's decisions, I will claim the Hiberno-English dialect the authority for that masterful use of the letter "e" instead of "u."
Don't you have spell-check? It's m-a-s-t-U-R-bate. You people on IC should learn that it's "Scotch-Irish," not Scots-Irish, too.
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