I was recently dining with a group of colleagues I hadn't seen in a while at a meal break inside of a training seminar. After catching up on the frivolity -- how many kids you have now, how long have you been with the company -- one African American gal turned to me and asked out of the blue, "So, Mike, what are you giving up for Lent this year?"
"Uh, Catholicism?" came the reply before a wave of polite laughter (note -- I am the boss of these people, so everything I say is met with polite laughter).
"They still do that?" asked another colleague.
"Mike asked me that during a meeting years ago and then he shared what the Lenten sacrifice had meant to him. It just left me so inspired I took up the tradition each year ever since."
She returned her eyes to me.
"So, what are you giving up for Lent?"
"Well, based on the stumped look on his face, I'd say he's given up lecturing people on old Catholic customs," snickered someone.
More polite laughter, this time at my expense.
I didn't even recognize the Mike she was referencing. With my last girl done with her Confirmation last year, the regular connection to my faith's doctrine and culture have taken a nosedive from the nosedive it had been already taken over the years.
Yes, I still go to church regularly enough, but the prayers are absent-mindedly mumbled and the daydreaming goes into high gear during the rote homily. Nowadays, I only get passionately close to my faith when I hit air turbulence, a police officer flashes lights in my rear view, or a if a letter from the IRS appears in the mailbox.
In my last quiet moment in the HOG (House of God), I buttoned up my mental hair shirt and begun flogging myself for everything I was doing wrong.
Y'know, you SHOULD be here more often.
Y'know, you SHOULD have dragged the girls out of bed to be here with you.
Y'know, you SHOULD set a better example for your godchildren.
Y'know, you SHOULD get into that confessional...
I SHOULD just stop the “shoulds” in my head and thank the Lord for his many blessings. But that’s old time, weapons-grade Catholic school guilt for you.
Though there were countless paintings depicting a wooly seventies-era Jesus smiling or playing with children, the nuns at St. Ann’s in Jersey City painted Jesus as an accountant, carefully tracking our sins in one column and our good deeds in another.
When our meal was over, my colleague threw her arms around me and said, “Mike, we haven’t seen each other in ages and I think it’s just great that we can pick up right where we left off. That’s friendship.”
Then it hit me -- that’s the kind of relationship I’d like to have with Jesus! Is he going to treat me like the nagging wife with a rolling pin at the church door when I have trouble making my way into His house, or is He going to pat the empty barstool next to him with one hand while motioning to auld St. Peter on his perch behind the bar for an extra pint of Guinness with the other?
For that little fantasy to come true, I’d have to give up something big for Lent -- Irish Catholic school guilt.
Amen!
Mike Farragher’s new collection of essays, This is Your Brain on Shamrocks 2: 50 Shades o’Green, can be found on www.thisisyourbrainonshamrocks.com
5 Comments
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Switch to the desktop site to post a comment.Shmrck5S | Feb 11, 2013, 10:40 AM EST
I try very hard to live up to the tenets of my Catholic faith. I fail miserably several times every day. Does that mean if I can just tell myself not to feel guilty for it that makes it OK? Well, that's one way to look at it. On the other hand, maybe I should look at myself rather than the Church as the problem. The Church doesn't guilt me into anything-I just choose to accept the fact that although I'm a pretty OK guy, there is always work to do. The camel through the eye of a needle, etc.
Portia777 | Feb 11, 2013, 12:45 AM EST
Guilt is the gift that keeps on giving and the Roman Catholic cult knew exactly how to use it to keep people under total control. Remember the old guilt tripping from the men and women of god? not sure what god they worshiped, but not one of love as guilt tripping is one of the characteristics of domestic terrorists/domestic abusers.So why are these Roman men and women allowed to use abusive tactics and not be jailed?
jerrydonovan | Feb 10, 2013, 09:38 AM EST
Ibelieve that in his own way Shakespeare hit the nail on the head when he said that the evil that a person does lives after them the good is often interred within his bones.Whenever anything dealing with the Catholic church arises there is an immediate rush to talk about the failings {yes ,there are many}of the church,but what about the good that the church has done over the past2000 years.In my opinion ,if one's criticism of the church is to be considered valid ,then there is also an obligation to acknowledge it's positive accomplishments.
Joe Glackin | Feb 09, 2013, 05:02 PM EST
Catholic guilt was that to Ireland, but most other Countries of Catholicism didnt bear such. I feel it was in our nature to perceive God a way others didnt. So it was indoctrinated to control a Celtic superstitious, fighting race
eiriamach | Feb 09, 2013, 12:21 PM EST
Mike F. is haunted by "the auld Catholic guilt." The guilt that haunts me is that I stayed so long, past the time that the sexual abuse criminal coverups came to light and the hierarchy began waging political battles against the civil rights of women and LGBTs. And Catholics were supporting those sinful activities with their contributions. The cure for "the auld Catholic guilt" is everywhere in the news every day. For example, the NY Times editors remind us, "Archbishop Gomez should do more than issue a rebuke [of Card. Mahony]. Among other things, churchgoers need to know how many tens of millions of dollars were diverted from parish collection plates to finance the cardinal’s cover-up." Mea culpa!