The Republican Party's presidential candidates are a sick joke
By: Cahir O'Doherty | Published Thursday, November 17, 2011, 11:30 PM | Updated Thursday, November 17, 2011, 11:30 PM
Herman Cain
The GOP 2012 campaign is a national tragedy masquerading as a trivial farce.
Like a lot of people, for a while there I was faintly amused by its theatrics until the never-ending series of political gaffes began to make me angry.
Week after week we've had to endure these millionaire phony populists, whose bank balances dwarf the average American's, striving to outdo each other with their fake folksy charm.
These people are not folks, or at least not the folks that live on your streets, unless you’re reading this in a gated community in Aspen or some such place.
That’s why their naked appeals to the basest prejudices of the white working class rankle me so much. In every other avenue of their lives, they will never encounter us after our votes are cast.
And with that aw shucks presentation style they have cheerily prescribed the vile torture tactics of the Khmer Rouge, they have supported the continued persecution and isolation of disfavored minorities like immigrants and gays, and they have passionately defended the absurdly rich from paying their share to participate in our democracy.
If the stakes weren't so high it might be funny. If so many people weren’t out of a job and facing the current job market we might even smile.
But these supremely unqualified candidates are running for the highest office in the land and most of them, it’s already become clear, would struggle to run a McDonald’s.
This week’s most delusional player is Herman Cain. Already the subject of sexual harassment complaints by no less than four women (one of them a Tea Party supporting conservative), this week Cain floundered when asked to give his response to President Obama's foreign policy.
“OK, Libya,” Cain said, rolling his eyes and taking a very long moment to gather his thoughts after being asked if he agreed or disagreed with Obama's response to the uprising there.
Said Cain, “President Obama supported the uprising. Correct? President Obama called for the removal of Gaddafi. Just want to make sure we’re talking about the same thing before I say, ‘yes I agree’ or ‘no I didn’t agree,’” he said.
“I do not agree with the way he handled it for the following reason‚ no that’s a different one,” the now completely out of his depth Republican contender said, adding he’s “got all this stuff twirling around in my head.”
He pronounced head as heed. Apparently twirling around in his head was a mature response to the question he was being asked.
But it never emerged. Instead he sounded like an embarrassing mash-up of opportunistic far right talking points and Foghorn Leghorn.
Call it George W. Bush’s true legacy. After his desperate example, nowadays literally anyone can imagine themselves qualified to become president of the United States, even a pizza parlor CEO.
Watching this lineup of candidates last weekend, I was struck by their inability to offer even one new idea to strengthen America’s foreign policy or develop stronger economic or political ties with our allies and our adversaries.
Of all the candidates onstage, only Jon Huntsman, Mitt Romney and Newt Gingrich had the gravitas and experience to actually form semi-intelligible answers to the questions they were being asked.
Huntsman in particular likes to wander off the right wing jingoism reservation, to offer serious and considered responses, but in doing so he is forfeiting his chances of ever becoming the GOP nominee.
Romney offered no new vision for America’s foreign policy, but nor did he offer insane observations such as Michele Bachmann’s contention that President Obama has abandoned Israel to pursue his interest in Occupy Wall Street.
Romney is almost certainly the 2012 candidate, but conservatives mistrust his weather vane performance which comes, after all, from a life spent adapting to market forces rather than political ones.
Gingrich has endorsed torture as an effective tool in the U.S. arsenal (studies have shown that it is not, however) and is completely unelectable -- let’s not forget he was dumped by his own party and is unlikely to become its standard bearer ever again.
But this is the moment to reflect that the United States of America has been a beacon of liberty and hope for all nations for longer than any of us have been alive.
True, the fabric of the American Dream is looking threadbare in this new age of crony capitalism and plutocrats on the rise, but hope and history have shown themselves to be thorns in the side of the few who exploit the many for their own gain.
It seems it has become a time for the many to insist the gilded few pay their share -- bailouts should cut both ways, after all.
One thing is certain. The challenges facing the country will not be met by unqualified and unserious candidates who, each time they hog the limelight, show themselves completely unfit for office or the tenor of the times.
First off, absolutely nobody wants a "free market" and anyone who says so is a liar. Every person, industry, and company wants a market that favors them. Corporations spend $trillions trying to stack things in their favor. It is only when someone wants to make changes to help ordinary Americans instead of billionaires and corporations that we hear about it interfering with the free market and part of a irreversible descent into totalitarian communism.
JimMcGarity | Nov 18, 2011, 10:08 PM EST
Not like the joke we have in the White House!
seanomelbourne | Nov 18, 2011, 08:31 PM EST
The GOP/TP are critical thinkers!!!The combined gaffes made by them in public only serves one to think they are critically ill,narrow minded and lack common sense.
michaelidaho | Nov 18, 2011, 06:10 PM EST
hollabackgurl,
Some Republican candidates have defended waterboarding, but I think it is safe to say that they have not, "cheerily prescribed the vile torture tactics of the Khmer Rouge." Waterboarding was probably the mildest form of torture employed by the Khmer Rouge. Everything else that went on in Tuol Seng would be unanimously condemned by any U.S. or Western politician. The KR had no scruples about burning, cutting and electrocuting any part of a human being while they were still alive. Again, another lame article highlighting anti-Republican ignorance and bigotry that only serves to divide this country.
hollabackgurl | Nov 18, 2011, 05:05 PM EST
The Kennedy's and the Kerry's never pretended to be anything but East Coast brahmins. These GOP candidates are millionaires who affect to speak like minor characters in Mark Twain novels. They're bogus in other words.
AengusOg | Nov 18, 2011, 12:07 PM EST
It is so easy to create straw dogs and then set them afire. This article is 100% personal invective out of necessity. The author continues to prove that he would be lost in the realm of ideas. This is why Fox prospers.
hollabackgurl | Nov 18, 2011, 12:24 AM EST
The Khmer Rouge water-boarded thousands. They understood it was torture. Why don't the GOP candidates?
michaelidaho | Nov 17, 2011, 09:56 PM EST
Cahir,
You really have undone yourself on this one. You actually suggested that Republican candidates endorse the "torture tactics of the Khmer Rouge."
Are you serious? Are you suggesting that since Republican candidates defend waterboarding, they also support the actions of the Khmer Rouge in death camps like Tuol Seng. I think you would be hard pressed to find a single Cambodian that would agree with you. 17,000 Cambodians entered Tuol Seng, were brutally tortured and killed. Only seven walked out alive. I think it is safe to say that waterboarding and what went on in Tuol Seng is a very weak and shameful comparison.
cillowen | Nov 17, 2011, 07:58 PM EST
GOPs are both sick dumb and demented - saw em today
trying to rattle Secretary Chu but to no avail.
They are against trying things that cost some bucks
but their dumpy ginrich fathead didn't have a problem reaping 1.6 Million with the Fannies he and fellow travelers rail madly about. Hyprocrites. The
billions spent trying to perfect rocketry and craft to roam the heavens - they have a blind spot on such
things.
tomdoh345 | Nov 17, 2011, 05:56 PM EST
Great article!! I wonder why all the GOP and TP types who seem to have no Common Sense keep insisting that all us busy left leaning people, who do not agree with them on almost all problems, must read the constitution or read the bible or be patriotic or anti union or not be socialist. All these conditions are needed because the GOP and TP types lack the ability to do critical thinking, to solve real problems and to connect the big dots.
seanomelbourne | Nov 17, 2011, 05:20 PM EST
great article Cahir.the GOP crazies are so ridiculous it would be akin to Pres. Obama appearing at a town hall meeting dressed in homeboy attire
EphraimKibbey | Nov 17, 2011, 04:29 PM EST
Good article, Cahir, but we need to stop "casting our pearls before" the GOP. I do not understand why we keep showing each front runner in their "carnival of fools" primary for the sham that he (or she) is. We need to sit back and let them nominate the most foolish of pack so that we can have the element of surprise during the general election. Why are we veting their candidates for them. I was really diappointed when Cain started to drop in the poles as he would have made such a great loser in 2012. Oh well, maybe he can be Romney's running mate. That strategy worked so well for Palin in 2008. LOL
joceltic | Nov 17, 2011, 02:09 PM EST
hear, hear! and mr. flynn, try taking a remedial english class if you'd like to sound educated and intelligent.
hybernia | Nov 17, 2011, 01:55 PM EST
Cain is a blueprint for building an idiot.
Bachmann is mad. ( look at her eyes )
Then you have the usual Israeli asslickers, and thats about it. So sad.
pflynn70 | Nov 17, 2011, 12:41 PM EST
It's always nice to drop by and observe the mis-informed poor devils who read your tripe Cahir, I would suggest to your looney left readers to check out some great blogs to see what the real world is about. But judging from what I read, you all wallow in this hyped up b/S. Say what you want about the Republican 's running for office one thing you can't dispute, THERE SOLID AMERICANS NOT A SOCIALIST IMPORT FROM GOD"S KNOWS WHERE.
Searlit | Nov 17, 2011, 12:05 PM EST
Great article Cahir, especially the Foghorn Leghorn observation. That was a bit of comic relief, for some of us. I can't watch these "candidates" on the news. It's too painful.
slainte39 | Nov 17, 2011, 11:57 AM EST
The GOP loonies will always have their die-hard supporters on I.C. What I don't understand is how they tear themselves away from Rush, et.al., long enough to read this publication. Three years on the job for B.O. is more training for the job, for him, than if Hermain
Cain had been president all his life. Some people are faster learners than others...Herman Cain isn't in that group.
faberm1 | Nov 17, 2011, 11:34 AM EST
Cahir O'Doherty: You are a disgrace as a journalist. It makes me stop and wonder if I even want to read this paper any more. The LEAST qualified Republican candidate has 10,000 times more work experience than President Obama. My sister-in-law hair-dresser has more work experience than he does. I don't know if you are a citizen or not, but if you are not I would ask you to read the Constitution and learn a little bit about what it means to be an American. Tá mé den bharúil go bhfuil tú gan ciall!
allentown | Nov 17, 2011, 11:30 AM EST
Individual responsibility a "basest prejudice of the white working class".
NYCsheridan | Nov 17, 2011, 11:24 AM EST
@motherirish says: "Herman has taken a lie detector test."
The hell he has.
NYCsheridan | Nov 17, 2011, 11:23 AM EST
"Instead he sounded like an embarrassing mash-up of opportunistic far right talking points and Foghorn Leghorn."
GOP, good luck in 2016 vs Hillary.
The Waltons | Nov 17, 2011, 11:22 AM EST
Isn't it amazing that, within only one week of Tiger Woods crashing his Escalade, the press found every woman with whom Tiger had an affair during the last few years?
And, they even uncovered photos, text messages, recorded phone calls, etc.!
Furthermore, they not only knew the cause of the family fight, but they even... knew it was a wedge from his golf bag that his wife used to break out the windows in the Escalade.
Not only that, they knew which wedge!
And, each & every day, they were able to continue to provide America with updates on Tiger's sex rehab stay, his wife's plans for divorce, as well as the dates & tournaments in which he would play.
Now, Barack Hussein Obama has been in office for over two years, yet this very same press:
Cannot find any of his childhood friends or neighbors; Or find any of Obama's high school or college classmates; Or locate any of his college papers or grades; Or determine how he paid for Occidental, Columbia, & Harvard educations; Or discover which country issued his visa to travel to Pakistan in the 1980's; Or even find Michelle Obama's Princeton thesis on racism.
They just can't seem to uncover any of this.
Yet, the public still trusts that same press to give them the whole truth!
Simply amazing isn't it?
joan1954 | Nov 17, 2011, 11:00 AM EST
I agree with MotherIrish the beggist joke is in the WH.
mikehoulihan | Nov 17, 2011, 10:44 AM EST
I'm with you Mike Rock, I didn't even bother to read this crap, just dropping by to say Cahir you suck, lousy writer on a continual rant. Please Irish Central, get rid of this creep!
MikeRock | Nov 17, 2011, 10:33 AM EST
You're the joke, O'Doherty.
PhlutiePhan | Nov 17, 2011, 09:46 AM EST
I too have some reservations about some of the loonies in the race. However, let's look at the other side of the coin. A coin has two sides and not two heads as you appear to say. Obama is a national socialist preparing for the world government. His aim is to take over the means of production. The Republicans are labeled as the enemy because they are for a free market economy. Obama wants a managed economy just like the Chinese.
MotherIrish | Nov 17, 2011, 09:44 AM EST
The biggest joke resides currently in the WH. I would wonder if you would be all things in all catagories at all times with such a hectic schedule. Herman has taken a lie detector test. Have any of those women. We love to believe the worst of people with unproven 'facts which are allegations only. Herman if you would ever meet him is down to earth and he is one of us.
Newt is the smartest man in the race. He is not a RINO as is Rommney. He more than anyone I have ever heard understands the Constitution & The Bill of Rights. His personal life aside - look at Kennedy (all of them), Edwards, Kerry and others that the liberal media has idolized - and he still stands above them. If you want to report, be honest and do so from the middle of the road and not so much bias and prejudice.
You lean so far to the left it is a wonder you do not fall over.
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Switch to the desktop site to post a comment.AlDente | Nov 21, 2011, 06:17 PM EST
First off, absolutely nobody wants a "free market" and anyone who says so is a liar. Every person, industry, and company wants a market that favors them. Corporations spend $trillions trying to stack things in their favor. It is only when someone wants to make changes to help ordinary Americans instead of billionaires and corporations that we hear about it interfering with the free market and part of a irreversible descent into totalitarian communism.
JimMcGarity | Nov 18, 2011, 10:08 PM EST
Not like the joke we have in the White House!
seanomelbourne | Nov 18, 2011, 08:31 PM EST
The GOP/TP are critical thinkers!!!The combined gaffes made by them in public only serves one to think they are critically ill,narrow minded and lack common sense.
michaelidaho | Nov 18, 2011, 06:10 PM EST
hollabackgurl, Some Republican candidates have defended waterboarding, but I think it is safe to say that they have not, "cheerily prescribed the vile torture tactics of the Khmer Rouge." Waterboarding was probably the mildest form of torture employed by the Khmer Rouge. Everything else that went on in Tuol Seng would be unanimously condemned by any U.S. or Western politician. The KR had no scruples about burning, cutting and electrocuting any part of a human being while they were still alive. Again, another lame article highlighting anti-Republican ignorance and bigotry that only serves to divide this country.
hollabackgurl | Nov 18, 2011, 05:05 PM EST
The Kennedy's and the Kerry's never pretended to be anything but East Coast brahmins. These GOP candidates are millionaires who affect to speak like minor characters in Mark Twain novels. They're bogus in other words.
AengusOg | Nov 18, 2011, 12:07 PM EST
It is so easy to create straw dogs and then set them afire. This article is 100% personal invective out of necessity. The author continues to prove that he would be lost in the realm of ideas. This is why Fox prospers.
hollabackgurl | Nov 18, 2011, 12:24 AM EST
The Khmer Rouge water-boarded thousands. They understood it was torture. Why don't the GOP candidates?
michaelidaho | Nov 17, 2011, 09:56 PM EST
Cahir, You really have undone yourself on this one. You actually suggested that Republican candidates endorse the "torture tactics of the Khmer Rouge." Are you serious? Are you suggesting that since Republican candidates defend waterboarding, they also support the actions of the Khmer Rouge in death camps like Tuol Seng. I think you would be hard pressed to find a single Cambodian that would agree with you. 17,000 Cambodians entered Tuol Seng, were brutally tortured and killed. Only seven walked out alive. I think it is safe to say that waterboarding and what went on in Tuol Seng is a very weak and shameful comparison.
cillowen | Nov 17, 2011, 07:58 PM EST
GOPs are both sick dumb and demented - saw em today trying to rattle Secretary Chu but to no avail. They are against trying things that cost some bucks but their dumpy ginrich fathead didn't have a problem reaping 1.6 Million with the Fannies he and fellow travelers rail madly about. Hyprocrites. The billions spent trying to perfect rocketry and craft to roam the heavens - they have a blind spot on such things.
tomdoh345 | Nov 17, 2011, 05:56 PM EST
Great article!! I wonder why all the GOP and TP types who seem to have no Common Sense keep insisting that all us busy left leaning people, who do not agree with them on almost all problems, must read the constitution or read the bible or be patriotic or anti union or not be socialist. All these conditions are needed because the GOP and TP types lack the ability to do critical thinking, to solve real problems and to connect the big dots.
seanomelbourne | Nov 17, 2011, 05:20 PM EST
great article Cahir.the GOP crazies are so ridiculous it would be akin to Pres. Obama appearing at a town hall meeting dressed in homeboy attire
EphraimKibbey | Nov 17, 2011, 04:29 PM EST
Good article, Cahir, but we need to stop "casting our pearls before" the GOP. I do not understand why we keep showing each front runner in their "carnival of fools" primary for the sham that he (or she) is. We need to sit back and let them nominate the most foolish of pack so that we can have the element of surprise during the general election. Why are we veting their candidates for them. I was really diappointed when Cain started to drop in the poles as he would have made such a great loser in 2012. Oh well, maybe he can be Romney's running mate. That strategy worked so well for Palin in 2008. LOL
joceltic | Nov 17, 2011, 02:09 PM EST
hear, hear! and mr. flynn, try taking a remedial english class if you'd like to sound educated and intelligent.
hybernia | Nov 17, 2011, 01:55 PM EST
Cain is a blueprint for building an idiot. Bachmann is mad. ( look at her eyes ) Then you have the usual Israeli asslickers, and thats about it. So sad.
pflynn70 | Nov 17, 2011, 12:41 PM EST
It's always nice to drop by and observe the mis-informed poor devils who read your tripe Cahir, I would suggest to your looney left readers to check out some great blogs to see what the real world is about. But judging from what I read, you all wallow in this hyped up b/S. Say what you want about the Republican 's running for office one thing you can't dispute, THERE SOLID AMERICANS NOT A SOCIALIST IMPORT FROM GOD"S KNOWS WHERE.
Searlit | Nov 17, 2011, 12:05 PM EST
Great article Cahir, especially the Foghorn Leghorn observation. That was a bit of comic relief, for some of us. I can't watch these "candidates" on the news. It's too painful.
slainte39 | Nov 17, 2011, 11:57 AM EST
The GOP loonies will always have their die-hard supporters on I.C. What I don't understand is how they tear themselves away from Rush, et.al., long enough to read this publication. Three years on the job for B.O. is more training for the job, for him, than if Hermain Cain had been president all his life. Some people are faster learners than others...Herman Cain isn't in that group.
faberm1 | Nov 17, 2011, 11:34 AM EST
Cahir O'Doherty: You are a disgrace as a journalist. It makes me stop and wonder if I even want to read this paper any more. The LEAST qualified Republican candidate has 10,000 times more work experience than President Obama. My sister-in-law hair-dresser has more work experience than he does. I don't know if you are a citizen or not, but if you are not I would ask you to read the Constitution and learn a little bit about what it means to be an American. Tá mé den bharúil go bhfuil tú gan ciall!
allentown | Nov 17, 2011, 11:30 AM EST
Individual responsibility a "basest prejudice of the white working class".
NYCsheridan | Nov 17, 2011, 11:24 AM EST
@motherirish says: "Herman has taken a lie detector test." The hell he has.
NYCsheridan | Nov 17, 2011, 11:23 AM EST
"Instead he sounded like an embarrassing mash-up of opportunistic far right talking points and Foghorn Leghorn." GOP, good luck in 2016 vs Hillary.
The Waltons | Nov 17, 2011, 11:22 AM EST
Isn't it amazing that, within only one week of Tiger Woods crashing his Escalade, the press found every woman with whom Tiger had an affair during the last few years? And, they even uncovered photos, text messages, recorded phone calls, etc.! Furthermore, they not only knew the cause of the family fight, but they even... knew it was a wedge from his golf bag that his wife used to break out the windows in the Escalade. Not only that, they knew which wedge! And, each & every day, they were able to continue to provide America with updates on Tiger's sex rehab stay, his wife's plans for divorce, as well as the dates & tournaments in which he would play. Now, Barack Hussein Obama has been in office for over two years, yet this very same press: Cannot find any of his childhood friends or neighbors; Or find any of Obama's high school or college classmates; Or locate any of his college papers or grades; Or determine how he paid for Occidental, Columbia, & Harvard educations; Or discover which country issued his visa to travel to Pakistan in the 1980's; Or even find Michelle Obama's Princeton thesis on racism. They just can't seem to uncover any of this. Yet, the public still trusts that same press to give them the whole truth! Simply amazing isn't it?
joan1954 | Nov 17, 2011, 11:00 AM EST
I agree with MotherIrish the beggist joke is in the WH.
mikehoulihan | Nov 17, 2011, 10:44 AM EST
I'm with you Mike Rock, I didn't even bother to read this crap, just dropping by to say Cahir you suck, lousy writer on a continual rant. Please Irish Central, get rid of this creep!
MikeRock | Nov 17, 2011, 10:33 AM EST
You're the joke, O'Doherty.
PhlutiePhan | Nov 17, 2011, 09:46 AM EST
I too have some reservations about some of the loonies in the race. However, let's look at the other side of the coin. A coin has two sides and not two heads as you appear to say. Obama is a national socialist preparing for the world government. His aim is to take over the means of production. The Republicans are labeled as the enemy because they are for a free market economy. Obama wants a managed economy just like the Chinese.
MotherIrish | Nov 17, 2011, 09:44 AM EST
The biggest joke resides currently in the WH. I would wonder if you would be all things in all catagories at all times with such a hectic schedule. Herman has taken a lie detector test. Have any of those women. We love to believe the worst of people with unproven 'facts which are allegations only. Herman if you would ever meet him is down to earth and he is one of us. Newt is the smartest man in the race. He is not a RINO as is Rommney. He more than anyone I have ever heard understands the Constitution & The Bill of Rights. His personal life aside - look at Kennedy (all of them), Edwards, Kerry and others that the liberal media has idolized - and he still stands above them. If you want to report, be honest and do so from the middle of the road and not so much bias and prejudice. You lean so far to the left it is a wonder you do not fall over.