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Manhattan Diary by Cahir O'Doherty

The Republican Party's presidential candidates are a sick joke

Posted on Thursday, November 17, 2011 at 08:20 AM

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Herman Cain

The GOP 2012 campaign is a national tragedy masquerading as a trivial farce.

Like a lot of people, for a while there I was faintly amused by its theatrics until the never-ending series of political gaffes began to make me angry.

Week after week we've had to endure these millionaire phony populists, whose bank balances dwarf the average American's, striving to outdo each other with their fake folksy charm.

These people are not folks, or at least not the folks that live on your streets, unless you’re reading this in a gated community in Aspen or some such place.

That’s why their naked appeals to the basest prejudices of the white working class rankle me so much. In every other avenue of their lives, they will never encounter us after our votes are cast.

And with that aw shucks presentation style they have cheerily prescribed the vile torture tactics of the Khmer Rouge, they have supported the continued persecution and isolation of disfavored minorities like immigrants and gays, and they have passionately defended the absurdly rich from paying their share to participate in our democracy.

If the stakes weren't so high it might be funny. If so many people weren’t out of a job and facing the current job market we might even smile.

But these supremely unqualified candidates are running for the highest office in the land and most of them, it’s already become clear, would struggle to run a McDonald’s.

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This week’s most delusional player is Herman Cain. Already the subject of sexual harassment complaints by no less than four women (one of them a Tea Party supporting conservative), this week Cain floundered when asked to give his response to President Obama's foreign policy.

“OK, Libya,” Cain said, rolling his eyes and taking a very long moment to gather his thoughts after being asked if he agreed or disagreed with Obama's response to the uprising there.

Said Cain, “President Obama supported the uprising. Correct? President Obama called for the removal of Gaddafi. Just want to make sure we’re talking about the same thing before I say, ‘yes I agree’ or ‘no I didn’t agree,’” he said.

“I do not agree with the way he handled it for the following reason‚ no that’s a different one,” the now completely out of his depth Republican contender said, adding he’s “got all this stuff twirling around in my head.”

He pronounced head as heed. Apparently twirling around in his head was a mature response to the question he was being asked.

But it never emerged. Instead he sounded like an embarrassing mash-up of opportunistic far right talking points and Foghorn Leghorn.

Call it George W. Bush’s true legacy. After his desperate example, nowadays literally anyone can imagine themselves qualified to become president of the United States, even a pizza parlor CEO.

Watching this lineup of candidates last weekend, I was struck by their inability to offer even one new idea to strengthen America’s foreign policy or develop stronger economic or political ties with our allies and our adversaries.

Of all the candidates onstage, only Jon Huntsman, Mitt Romney and Newt Gingrich had the gravitas and experience to actually form semi-intelligible answers to the questions they were being asked.

Huntsman in particular likes to wander off the right wing jingoism reservation, to offer serious and considered responses, but in doing so he is forfeiting his chances of ever becoming the GOP nominee.

Romney offered no new vision for America’s foreign policy, but nor did he offer insane observations such as Michele Bachmann’s contention that President Obama has abandoned Israel to pursue his interest in Occupy Wall Street.

Romney is almost certainly the 2012 candidate, but conservatives mistrust his weather vane performance which comes, after all, from a life spent adapting to market forces rather than political ones.

Gingrich has endorsed torture as an effective tool in the U.S. arsenal (studies have shown that it is not, however) and is completely unelectable -- let’s not forget he was dumped by his own party and is unlikely to become its standard bearer ever again.

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But this is the moment to reflect that the United States of America has been a beacon of liberty and hope for all nations for longer than any of us have been alive.

True, the fabric of the American Dream is looking threadbare in this new age of crony capitalism and plutocrats on the rise, but hope and history have shown themselves to be thorns in the side of the few who exploit the many for their own gain.

It seems it has become a time for the many to insist the gilded few pay their share -- bailouts should cut both ways, after all.

One thing is certain. The challenges facing the country will not be met by unqualified and unserious candidates who, each time they hog the limelight, show themselves completely unfit for office or the tenor of the times.

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Searlit | Nov 17, 2011, 12:05 PM EST

Great article Cahir, especially the Foghorn Leghorn observation. That was a bit of comic relief, for some of us. I can't watch these "candidates" on the news. It's too painful.

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slainte39 | Nov 17, 2011, 11:57 AM EST

The GOP loonies will always have their die-hard supporters on I.C. What I don't understand is how they tear themselves away from Rush, et.al., long enough to read this publication. Three years on the job for B.O. is more training for the job, for him, than if Hermain Cain had been president all his life. Some people are faster learners than others...Herman Cain isn't in that group.

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faberm1 | Nov 17, 2011, 11:34 AM EST

Cahir O'Doherty: You are a disgrace as a journalist. It makes me stop and wonder if I even want to read this paper any more. The LEAST qualified Republican candidate has 10,000 times more work experience than President Obama. My sister-in-law hair-dresser has more work experience than he does. I don't know if you are a citizen or not, but if you are not I would ask you to read the Constitution and learn a little bit about what it means to be an American. Tá mé den bharúil go bhfuil tú gan ciall!

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allentown | Nov 17, 2011, 11:30 AM EST

Individual responsibility a "basest prejudice of the white working class".

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NYCsheridan | Nov 17, 2011, 11:24 AM EST

@motherirish says: "Herman has taken a lie detector test." The hell he has.

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NYCsheridan | Nov 17, 2011, 11:23 AM EST

"Instead he sounded like an embarrassing mash-up of opportunistic far right talking points and Foghorn Leghorn." GOP, good luck in 2016 vs Hillary.

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The Waltons | Nov 17, 2011, 11:22 AM EST

Isn't it amazing that, within only one week of Tiger Woods crashing his Escalade, the press found every woman with whom Tiger had an affair during the last few years? And, they even uncovered photos, text messages, recorded phone calls, etc.! Furthermore, they not only knew the cause of the family fight, but they even... knew it was a wedge from his golf bag that his wife used to break out the windows in the Escalade. Not only that, they knew which wedge! And, each & every day, they were able to continue to provide America with updates on Tiger's sex rehab stay, his wife's plans for divorce, as well as the dates & tournaments in which he would play. Now, Barack Hussein Obama has been in office for over two years, yet this very same press: Cannot find any of his childhood friends or neighbors; Or find any of Obama's high school or college classmates; Or locate any of his college papers or grades; Or determine how he paid for Occidental, Columbia, & Harvard educations; Or discover which country issued his visa to travel to Pakistan in the 1980's; Or even find Michelle Obama's Princeton thesis on racism. They just can't seem to uncover any of this. Yet, the public still trusts that same press to give them the whole truth! Simply amazing isn't it?

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joan1954 | Nov 17, 2011, 11:00 AM EST

I agree with MotherIrish the beggist joke is in the WH.

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mikehoulihan | Nov 17, 2011, 10:44 AM EST

I'm with you Mike Rock, I didn't even bother to read this crap, just dropping by to say Cahir you suck, lousy writer on a continual rant. Please Irish Central, get rid of this creep!

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MikeRock | Nov 17, 2011, 10:33 AM EST

You're the joke, O'Doherty.

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PhlutiePhan | Nov 17, 2011, 09:46 AM EST

I too have some reservations about some of the loonies in the race. However, let's look at the other side of the coin. A coin has two sides and not two heads as you appear to say. Obama is a national socialist preparing for the world government. His aim is to take over the means of production. The Republicans are labeled as the enemy because they are for a free market economy. Obama wants a managed economy just like the Chinese.

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MotherIrish | Nov 17, 2011, 09:44 AM EST

The biggest joke resides currently in the WH. I would wonder if you would be all things in all catagories at all times with such a hectic schedule. Herman has taken a lie detector test. Have any of those women. We love to believe the worst of people with unproven 'facts which are allegations only. Herman if you would ever meet him is down to earth and he is one of us. Newt is the smartest man in the race. He is not a RINO as is Rommney. He more than anyone I have ever heard understands the Constitution & The Bill of Rights. His personal life aside - look at Kennedy (all of them), Edwards, Kerry and others that the liberal media has idolized - and he still stands above them. If you want to report, be honest and do so from the middle of the road and not so much bias and prejudice. You lean so far to the left it is a wonder you do not fall over.

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