Michele Bachmann is God's mouthpiece
By: Cahir O'Doherty | Published Tuesday, August 30, 2011, 5:05 PM | Updated Friday, September 9, 2011, 10:34 PM
Spare a thought for God. He must be sorely tired of watching the current crop of Republican presidential candidates line up to be His mouthpiece, because God knows the rest of us are.
Worst offender this week is Michele Bachmann, of course.
Yesterday Bachmann told Florida voters at several campaign stops that Hurricane Irene and the earthquake that preceded it along the East Coast last week were messages from God to warn 'politicians' to start heeding His divine Judgement.
God votes for the Tea Party apparently, and that makes Bachmann the sole recipient of His guidance.
And this week God has a new message: He is done with all that socialist help the poor crap. Instead He wants less governmental spending, He wants to extend further tax cuts for the rich, He wants to send oil and gas companies into the Everglades and He wants to hypnotize and harass gay men until they think they're straight and want to marry your daughters.
Sounds like a good plan, eh?
Michele Bachmann's God lets you know what He's thinking by sending natural disasters to kill you. There's nothing like being mortally wounded to get you thinking about the issues, I suppose. If God puts a gun to your head now and then it's because He loves you.
Ironically, in making her nauseatingly transparent claims this week Bachmann may have just mortally wounded her own candidacy. Americans are a tolerant lot, but her Oral Roberts University background is suddenly showing.
Sensing disaster, late last night her campaign team assured the wire services Bachmann had been joking. But when has Bachmann ever joked about God? And when has the God she speaks for ever looked like He was capable of taking a joke?
I'm quite certain Bachmann will never be president. I'm quite certain she will never be vice president either. She claims this week she has 'a great sense of humor' so I expect she's referring to her claim she is a 'great unifying candidate.'
But, like her fellow candidate Rick Perry, the nuttiness factor is just too pronounced.