Michele Bachmann is God's mouthpiece

Posted on Tuesday, August 30, 2011 at 09:38 AM

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Spare a thought for God. He must be sorely tired of watching the current crop of Republican presidential candidates line up to be His mouthpiece, because God knows the rest of us are.

Worst offender this week is Michele Bachmann, of course.

Yesterday Bachmann told Florida voters at several campaign stops that Hurricane Irene and the earthquake that preceded it along the East Coast last week were messages from God to warn 'politicians' to start heeding His divine Judgement.

God votes for the Tea Party apparently, and that makes Bachmann the sole recipient of His guidance.

And this week God has a new message: He is done with all that socialist help the poor crap. Instead He wants less governmental spending, He wants to extend further tax cuts for the rich, He wants to send oil and gas companies into the Everglades and He wants to hypnotize and harass gay men until they think they're straight and want to marry your daughters.

Sounds like a good plan, eh?

Michele Bachmann's God lets you know what He's thinking by sending natural disasters to kill you. There's nothing like being mortally wounded to get you thinking about the issues, I suppose. If God puts a gun to your head now and then it's because He loves you.

Ironically, in making her nauseatingly transparent claims this week Bachmann may have just mortally wounded her own candidacy. Americans are a tolerant lot, but her Oral Roberts University background is suddenly showing.

Sensing disaster, late last night her campaign team assured the wire services Bachmann had been joking. But when has Bachmann ever joked about God? And when has the God she speaks for ever looked like He was capable of taking a joke?

I'm quite certain Bachmann will never be president. I'm quite certain she will never be vice president either. She claims this week she has 'a great sense of humor' so I expect she's referring to her claim she is a 'great unifying candidate.'

But, like her fellow candidate Rick Perry, the nuttiness factor is just too pronounced.

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Nicomax | Aug 30, 2011, 12:50 PM EDT

Her race for POTUS is over! Back to advocating for home schooling in suburban Minneapolis.

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rainbowbrew | Aug 30, 2011, 12:08 PM EDT

Gerat article. MB is a crazy lady. She also said that she has a plan to get back 2dollar a gallon petrol which would be about 75cents a liter (in euros). Yes she is a nut case, but I would not go so far as to say she won;t make it. There are a lot of Americans who believe what she says. She apparently does not understand cause and effect nor does she understand science at all. She is driven as all politicians are by big corporate companies who are greedy and do not care about our environment.

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Towngate | Aug 30, 2011, 11:17 AM EDT

Cahir: Very one-sided little rant! For Gods sake spread out your other wing, flap evenly and you will go straight. Just using one wing ... ya just go round in circles and get nowhere ... just like Former President Obama was before he lost control and started to spiral down to Gods good earth ... and beyond!

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OBPiper | Aug 30, 2011, 10:43 AM EDT

What the hell is it about Germans? Remember Adolf Hitler?

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jamieLM | Aug 30, 2011, 10:37 AM EDT

I separate science from religion. I view natural disasters, which have been taking place on the earth long before man, as caused by a combination of conditions that are found on earth and in the oceans and the atmosphere. As long as the sun rises in the east and sets in the west, the earth is going to experience these disasters aptly described as NATURAL. The God I believe in is not a Rep. or a Dem. and doesn't punish people around the world by unleashing devastating earthquakes and storms on them. I ignore people who claim to know the mind of God and the day the world will end. I don't need or want politicians to interpret God's mind for me.

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FGreggMeagher | Aug 30, 2011, 10:33 AM EDT

Bachman was not off beat. This same advisory warning of what is occurring was sent, years ago when Terri Schiavo was assassinated in Florida, in writing to the Office of the President (USA), the Pope and Vatican, the President of the New York Times and other major newspapers, the United Nations, the International Association of Religions, and others. It was ignored. It will not be ignored further. Facts!

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lastshovel | Aug 30, 2011, 09:49 AM EDT

I think she's loosing 'er cabbage, that one. She is an original American mud-pie (fun to make but hell to swallow).

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