Marriage Equality is a victory for us all
Posted on Saturday, June 25, 2011 at 10:13 AM
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Stoic friends, not given to public outbursts, admitted they were weeping. Outside of my window the Empire State Building was suddenly rainbow colored in celebration. It's been a long time since I've seen such widespread outpourings of sheer joy in New York City.
A series of tweets from Speaker Christine Quinn - named by The New York Observer this week as the number one most powerful gay person in New York City - made my night:
'I can't really describe what this feels like,' Quinn wrote, 'but it's one of the best feelings I've ever had in my life.'
Earlier she added: 'What this marriage equality vote does for me is important, but what this does for gay children is indescribable.'
She's right about that. A new generation of gay teenagers will now grow up in a world where their relationships don't automatically subject them to insult, violence, contempt and legal peril.
Just think for a minute what a remarkable change that is for them. They no longer need to live their lives anticipating the next outrage to their personhood or destiny. They can live free and equal in this remarkable city and state.
Some see this change as foundational, or as an unspecified ominous threat to their own rights. They were given ample opportunity to argue their case, and they lost on the merits.
It's foolish to battle against human love and expect to win - and that's what this squabble is about ultimately - and that's why marriage equality has always prevailed in the end. So we should savor this victory for what it tells us about the human heart and spirit.
Gay people are embedded in culture in a way that no other minority is: we're your friends, co-workers, nephews, sons and daughters. If you strip us of equality you're going to hear about it more intimately than most.
There's work ahead. DOMA is still the law of the land and it invalidates marriage equality at the federal level. Married gay couples will still not be permitted to file their federal taxes jointly. They will have no immigration rights whatsoever. The disparities are clear and they must be settled.
But in the end it's love, and not law books, that make a good marriage. Believe me I already know what a happy marriage looks like, I've been in one for fourteen years.
Now, finally, I can make it official.
(And to those of you still on the fence, take heart - if you're still not sure how you feel about gay marriage, might I suggest you make an effort to attend one? It's gay pride weekend in New York City, there'll be no shortage of opportunities to swing an invite).
New York has taught me many things, including there's nothing like proximity to make good neighbors of us all.
41 comments
hollabackgurl | Jun 26, 2011, 08:33 AM EDT
Of course sharlot is not right. It's idiotic to suggest that giving a loving couple the right to form a legal union somehow harms society. Sharlot should think with her head and not her lower intestines.
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barneyjo | Jun 26, 2011, 08:14 AM EDT
@sharlot - you may be right, but at least you should also be open to the possibility that you may not!!
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sharlot | Jun 26, 2011, 07:56 AM EDT
I think it is just another step on the road to society's ultimate demise--"anything goes" "if it feels good, do it"---very sad, in my estimation.
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olovely | Jun 25, 2011, 11:56 PM EDT
Re: jobs. Well this change should add billions to the New York wedding industry and the tourist industry (you can come from any other state and get married there). The Four Seasons, for example, must be thrilled at the all extra business coming their way soon.
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JimMcGarity | Jun 25, 2011, 11:45 PM EDT
You think so. I am so happy for them. I hope they got jobs because everyone has time for this but no time to get the USA going again.
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ciarrai | Jun 25, 2011, 11:19 PM EDT
Two people of the same sex get married. How is this supposed to adversely effect me and the society at large? It is of no importance that homosexuals will be allowed to marry. It is of great importance that some seem to think will have some huge impact on them and society. What a waste of time.
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olovely | Jun 25, 2011, 10:40 PM EDT
Christianity is the belief that an infinitely-old, all-knowing being, powerful enough to create the entire Universe and its billions of unreachable galaxies, somehow has a personal interest in your private sex life. That's ludicrous.
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barneyjo | Jun 25, 2011, 08:47 PM EDT
@Trealach - re your comment "The US can now look forward to a generation at least, of men buggering children and children of the same sex buggering each other - it has legalised Paedophilia. Welcome to the epi-centre and axis of evil" where the Catholic Church leads, others are bound to follow!!
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olovely | Jun 25, 2011, 06:22 PM EDT
It's pretty obvious some people use GOD as a proxy for their anti-gay murder fantasies.
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eiriamach | Jun 25, 2011, 06:09 PM EDT
mamaginnty, I think that religion is just one of the weapons used by people who are already inclined to trash anyone who's different from them. My pastor, an ECUSA priest, is in a gay marriage. He is one of the most brilliant men I've ever known, does a great homily on how to live right, and is great with people. His congregation is small, mostly 60-something with one lady just celebrating her 104th birthday last week, and they all energize each other. They're welcoming people with inspiring stories to tell about their lives. Enough people like that could transform the world, so I still have some faith in religion. I'd just like to know why the Trealach types use the Irish Central blogs to trash other people and ruin it for some. It's inhospitable, to say the least. Maybe they just can't find a better class of people to hang around with, and they think they need to be nasty to get some attention.
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mamaginnty | Jun 25, 2011, 05:31 PM EDT
Reading the hate comments below I am begining to think....Religion is the route of all evil. Trealach... make sure you have confession before you pass away to where ever you think your going. You too will have to repent.
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eiriamach | Jun 25, 2011, 04:40 PM EDT
Wow! Look at the ranting below-- "axis of evil," "relativism, debasement, perversity," "Satan is alive and well," "the end to our society," and then someone throws in "trashy movies"-- and they really have sooooo much to complain about! Thank God these are only words, and they're not carting in a load of hay to pile around the stake in the town square, where the bishop is waiting to strike a match to the local witches. It could be worse than just words! These are the last sputtering gasps of the diehard homophobes who know fewer and fewer people will put up with their mean-spiritedness, in public anyway. It's too bad they could not manage a little sportsmanship at the end of the game. It would be nice to read "Congratulations, Cahir, and have a great celebration!" :}
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WoundedKnee | Jun 25, 2011, 04:34 PM EDT
"A victory for us all". What a stupid and arrogant headline. It's not a victory for me.
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CHRISMICK | Jun 25, 2011, 03:56 PM EDT
TREALACH,GOOD SHOW.I KNOW THERE IS A THING CALLED FREEDOM OF PRESS BUT I HAVE ISSUES WITH IRISH TIMES EVEN PRINTING THIS NEWS??THIS IS THE SAME CRAP YOU SEE ON TV.OUR FORE FATHERS MUST BE VERY PROUD OF US DESTROYING EVERYTHING THAT WAS RIGHT.GOD HELP US.
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