Hartford's holy bullies say stop having gay sex - VIDEO

Posted on Friday, January 06, 2012 at 08:49 AM

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This week I read that the Hartford Archdiocese in Connecticut, in the state that already grants full marriage equality to its same sex couples, wants to turn the clocks back. Like, way back.

On Tuesday the Catholic archdiocese there announced a plan to open a local chapter of a national ministry called Courage 'to support men and women who (struggle) with homosexual tendencies and to motivate them to live chaste and fruitful lives in accordance with Catholic Church teachings.'
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Notice they call it your 'struggle' with same sex attraction. They could never imagine it would be something you'd welcome. That's a tacit admission of the part they are playing in ensuring that a climate of hostility endures. In truth, more gay Catholics end up struggling with the Church's pretzel theology.

I call it the Catholic Church's pretzel theology for a good reason: they teach you can be gay in theory but not practice. You deserve to be loved, but you don't deserve to experience it, ever. And if one day you actually have the misfortune to fall in love the first thing you should do is pray for forgiveness, obviously. Because although God made you gay, He doesn't want you express yourself. Because that would be a sin.

Stupid and self-defeating, isn't it?

It's tragic beyond all telling how much damage this blatant nonsense, this oft-repeated confidence trick, has done to generations - centuries actually - of otherwise laudable men and women. So why is it being done again, even after the American Psychological Association has clearly ruled how harmful it is to try and change sexual orientation - or in this case, eradicate it completely by its complete disavowal.

I have my own theories. It's one of the first things you learn at school: bullies target you to take the heat of themselves. If you've ever been a bullies target (and lets face it, most of us have) were you surprised to learn later on they'd broadcast your supposed sins to cover up their own?

I remember it well, because it happened to me once or twice. The singling out, the scorn, the attempts at shaming, the playing to the gallery confident they held the crowd in their hand. I'm talking about common schoolyard bullies of course, not evangelical Christians and the Catholic Church, although I don't often see much difference between them nowadays.

I know the harm this kind of intentionally wounding edict does to the truly vulnerable. And if it wasn't successful it would not be attempted.

In a week where we read headlines of a US bishop fathering two children and having the Church pay for their college tuition, and of a Cardinal comparing gay people to the KKK, and of multiple abuse cases still in the courts, you'd think that Church representatives might be a little circumspect about casting the first stone.

In 2005, the Archdiocese of Hartford paid $22 million to settle sexual abuse claims brought by 43 people against 14 priests. That's a very significant episode. I can hardly believe that I am writing these words but considering that fact, wouldn't it display more 'courage' if the diocese grappled with its own challenges rather than creating new ones for others?

There is so very little real love in the world. Just look over your own shoulder and you'll realize this is true. So how dare anyone, anywhere, presume to tell you (or anyone) who you can and can not love?

In fact, didn't Christ himself make loving each other a commandment? 'A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.' (John 13:34). Unlike the Hartford diocese, He didn't prescribe who or how you could.

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eiriamach | Jan 06, 2012, 01:25 PM EST

That's an interesting point jamieLM raises, about whether Cahir's quotation from the evangelist John includes romantic love. Jesus says those words after he has washed the feet of the twelve, including the one who will betray him (Judas) and the one who will swear he doesn't know him (Peter). So it seems to mean what jamieLM says it means. But maybe it includes more besides that. Jesus' washing their feet suggests caring for their bodies as well as their spirits. And the writer, John, was the "beloved" disciple, who leaned his head on Jesus' breast (and there's no record of Jesus objecting to that contact). Some people have even suggested an erotic relationship existed between the two of them. John wrote in Greek and probably had an ancient understanding of eros, which lacked the fine distinctions we draw about love when we say that romantic love is quite different from love as responsibility for each other. So I think it's an open question whether Jesus would have forbidden any physical expression of love to his apostles. But I wouldn't trust the Hartford Diocese to know what any word of the Gospels means.

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jamieLM | Jan 06, 2012, 12:50 PM EST

@joan1954 - I understand your point of view. That's what activists do, no matter what the issue is. Activists get in people's faces, making them uncomfortable and often angry and resentful as they (activists) push their agenda. Remember the Black Civil Rights activists? Many people found them pretty darned annoying and disrespectful. When people can't get what they want by peaceful means, they turn to agitating and "respect" falls by the wayside on both sides. I'm also "straight" and I don't participate in gay pride marches or anything like it. I just think keeping a segment of our American society from enjoying the benefits I enjoy (and using the Bible to justify it) as a legally married heterosexual person, is wrong. Life is so short and difficult enough, why should I object to anyone's marriage when it doesn't affect mine or my life in general?

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Nicomax | Jan 06, 2012, 12:44 PM EST

I understand the archdiocese is in negotiations with Marcus Bachmann to head up their counseling services. Michelle will come along as a peppy cheerleader encouraging these unfortunates to change their ways.

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joeboy1 | Jan 06, 2012, 12:33 PM EST

thank youall you bullies, keep it up

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joan1954 | Jan 06, 2012, 12:04 PM EST

However, even the gay community can be vindictive and hateful toward those who do not share their views. So they don't like the church, big deal, get over it, don't have anything to do with them? As a "straight" I don't like the gay activists throwing what they want to me, give me the same respect they want others to give to them. It works both ways. Respect is a two way street.

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ProudCanadian | Jan 06, 2012, 11:03 AM EST

What hypocrits, who made them God anyway? What ever happened to scripture that says that God created everything and everyone. Catholics get with the 21st century.

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jamieLM | Jan 06, 2012, 10:14 AM EST

@Mr. O'Doherty, I interpret John 13:34 as having nothing to do with romantic love or sex. I see it as calling Christians to have empathy, respect, and tolerance - treating others in the same manner that we want others to treat us. The "love" is what calls us to care for the welfare of others, including those who are less fortunate and personally offensive. "Love" calls us not to hate others and not to take vengeance on those who do us wrong. I don't have to "love" you personally, but I am called to care for you as a human being and treat you respectfully and not to be hateful towards you or anyone else. I completely disagree with the RCC's position towards gay people. All people, as human beings, have the right to experience platonic and romantic love. I find it hypocritical of the RCC hierarchy to be attacking consenting adults' sex lives when some of their members have been engaged in abhorrent child sex abuse and its cover-up for years. I find their attitude towards gay people contrary to what Jesus taught. I don't see how the RCC can justify discrimination and persecution in any form against anyone. Just my opinion.

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hollabackgurl | Jan 06, 2012, 10:08 AM EST

What fascinates me is their gall, in the face of all the international abuse scandals. It really does look like they're trying to distract us from their own sins by making a big show of someone else's (preferably someone who's an easy mark too).

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jamthecat | Jan 06, 2012, 09:59 AM EST

Ah, the Catholic Church -- refusing to acknowledge reality for the last 2000 years, and always on the wrong side of it. Why anyone pays attention to what this church commands, after their illegal behavior in regards to covering up the ongoing rape of little boys and girls, is beyond me. So far as I'm concerned, it's nothing but a criminal enterprise using eternal blackmail to keep its customers in line, sort of like what the various mafias do in Italy, Russia and Japan.

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rugbyplayer | Jan 06, 2012, 09:52 AM EST

What next for the R.C. hierarchy: Rick Santorum for Pope? The R.C. Church is fast losing its grip on the last tentacle of its arcane power:sex. By managing the sex of others (Holy Mother Church ruled by celibate men is an oximoron) the Church exerted its twisted strangehold over the lives of its heterosexual constituents. With the rise of gay rights and feminist movements this church's choking grip over others sex lives has been rightly challenged.

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