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Manhattan Diary by Cahir O'Doherty

Hartford's holy bullies say stop having gay sex - VIDEO

Posted on Friday, January 06, 2012 at 08:49 AM

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This week I read that the Hartford Archdiocese in Connecticut, in the state that already grants full marriage equality to its same sex couples, wants to turn the clocks back. Like, way back.

On Tuesday the Catholic archdiocese there announced a plan to open a local chapter of a national ministry called Courage 'to support men and women who (struggle) with homosexual tendencies and to motivate them to live chaste and fruitful lives in accordance with Catholic Church teachings.'
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Notice they call it your 'struggle' with same sex attraction. They could never imagine it would be something you'd welcome. That's a tacit admission of the part they are playing in ensuring that a climate of hostility endures. In truth, more gay Catholics end up struggling with the Church's pretzel theology.

I call it the Catholic Church's pretzel theology for a good reason: they teach you can be gay in theory but not practice. You deserve to be loved, but you don't deserve to experience it, ever. And if one day you actually have the misfortune to fall in love the first thing you should do is pray for forgiveness, obviously. Because although God made you gay, He doesn't want you express yourself. Because that would be a sin.

Stupid and self-defeating, isn't it?

It's tragic beyond all telling how much damage this blatant nonsense, this oft-repeated confidence trick, has done to generations - centuries actually - of otherwise laudable men and women. So why is it being done again, even after the American Psychological Association has clearly ruled how harmful it is to try and change sexual orientation - or in this case, eradicate it completely by its complete disavowal.

I have my own theories. It's one of the first things you learn at school: bullies target you to take the heat of themselves. If you've ever been a bullies target (and lets face it, most of us have) were you surprised to learn later on they'd broadcast your supposed sins to cover up their own?

I remember it well, because it happened to me once or twice. The singling out, the scorn, the attempts at shaming, the playing to the gallery confident they held the crowd in their hand. I'm talking about common schoolyard bullies of course, not evangelical Christians and the Catholic Church, although I don't often see much difference between them nowadays.

I know the harm this kind of intentionally wounding edict does to the truly vulnerable. And if it wasn't successful it would not be attempted.

In a week where we read headlines of a US bishop fathering two children and having the Church pay for their college tuition, and of a Cardinal comparing gay people to the KKK, and of multiple abuse cases still in the courts, you'd think that Church representatives might be a little circumspect about casting the first stone.

In 2005, the Archdiocese of Hartford paid $22 million to settle sexual abuse claims brought by 43 people against 14 priests. That's a very significant episode. I can hardly believe that I am writing these words but considering that fact, wouldn't it display more 'courage' if the diocese grappled with its own challenges rather than creating new ones for others?

There is so very little real love in the world. Just look over your own shoulder and you'll realize this is true. So how dare anyone, anywhere, presume to tell you (or anyone) who you can and can not love?

In fact, didn't Christ himself make loving each other a commandment? 'A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.' (John 13:34). Unlike the Hartford diocese, He didn't prescribe who or how you could.

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Seanmor | Apr 27, 2012, 08:15 PM EDT

Nearly all Catholic bishops still belive that the Bible is the word of God, as do leaders of other Christian dominations. Respecting natural marriage is not turning the clock back.

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jamieLM | Jan 10, 2012, 06:57 PM EST

@Jayquigley, good for you for surviving. It's bad enough when kids bully other kids, but when adults representing Christianity do it, it's disgusting and shameful. Church officials engaged in bullying kids are anything but "Christ-like."

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Jayquigley | Jan 10, 2012, 10:29 AM EST

The RCC has always had a problem in facing it's own hypocrisy. As a young lad in catholic school I was bullied relentlessly by the nuns and priests for expressing opposing views and questioning their dogma. I am lucky to have escaped the church's grasp with my very life. If the church wishes to point to sin, they need look no further than their own alter for putting such destructive ideas in peoples' heads. As a gay man of 60 years, I still suffer the scars inflicted by the RCC. Yet I survive.

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hollabackgurl | Jan 10, 2012, 12:23 AM EST

The practice of Heterosexual man/woman sex is responsible for the death of tens of millions of people through AIDS. How anyone can defend these practices is beyond my imagination?

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hollabackgurl | Jan 08, 2012, 02:35 AM EST

jOAN 1954 TALKS ABOUT GAYS giving her / the church respect.........Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.............When the church stops calling gays intriniscally evil, disordered and not normal, maybe the gays will stop telling the world about the church and its own crimes. Cradle catholic Joan - brainwashed from birth.

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hollabackgurl | Jan 08, 2012, 02:32 AM EST

Wouldn't it be nicer if the church hired Bachmann to cure the priests who molested children, rather then our gay friends and neighbors who have consensual age appropriate sex................And dont need to use the church's CODE OF OMERTA TO HIDE VILE CRIMES?????????.

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hollabackgurl | Jan 08, 2012, 02:30 AM EST

Wouldnt it be nicer if the church hired Bachmann to cure the priests who molested children, rather then our gay friends and neighbors who have consensual age appropriate sex................And dont need to use the church's CODE OF OMERTA

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hollabackgurl | Jan 08, 2012, 02:27 AM EST

Homosexual sex and AIDS? there are far far more str8 people people with AIDS. Just thing of sending sperm into an opening which bleeds monthly. ..............HOw many remember that the Pope told Africans to not use condoms - in a continent with 20 million AIDS victims.................Such is the church teaching. Its a wonder they still dont torture and burn at the stake. Millions of women etc.

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hollabackgurl | Jan 08, 2012, 02:24 AM EST

A few misc comment re comments............who in the Hxxx is the church trying to tell gay people about their sex life. While it has ignored its own priests and hierarchy's horrible sex life. I could give a damn about "catholic teaching", which btw poisoned Europe for a millenia and laid the foundation for WWII and the holocaust My parents never told me but later my cousins did that we had first cousins in Lithuaania and (now) Belarus - who were never found again. Tks to a catholic named AH.

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hollabackgurl | Jan 08, 2012, 02:20 AM EST

I see ;lots of the latest BS against gays - claiming gays are bigots etc........................ Its the old story of the VICTIMIZER claiming to be the VICTIM. PLS Irish central - do a professional piece on this tactic that explains it for all................................................ It will break down one of the few remaining BS lines against our gay friends and neighbors.

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chuckb97 | Jan 08, 2012, 01:46 AM EST

I have never seen such Catholic bashing from an Irish writer apparently not Catholic or an uninformed Catholic. Jesus said the greatest of all commandments is LOVE:"love one another as I love you" LOVE not SEX.What part of that don't you understand. Make no mistake that gay sex is immoral and against all the teachings of the Church.

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pilib04 | Jan 07, 2012, 10:43 PM EST

You know these "religious" leaders lack any credability when it comes to sex. These are the same GUYS who protect child rappists! They have no moral cred whatsoever! As a Catholic they disgust me.

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Pittsburghkid | Jan 07, 2012, 02:39 PM EST

The practice of Homosexual sex is responsible for the death of millions of people through AIDS. How anyone can defend these practices is beyond my imagination?

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hollabackgurl | Jan 06, 2012, 07:48 PM EST

Stop me if I'm wrong though, I don't see the Catholic Church running programs to stop heterosexuals having sex. So if you're going to go by Catholic teaching they're being more than a little asymmetric. That's your first clue they're gay bashing.

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Rebelforce | Jan 06, 2012, 04:15 PM EST

If you're going to go by Catholic church teaching, not only is it a sin to have gay sex, it's a sin to have sex period---unless you are man and wife who are legally married for life, unless you've got money and connections and can get a church 'annulment'). And even if you're married, it's a sin to use contraceptives of any kind because you're only to have sex for the purposes of procreating new life. Let's face it, when it comes to the Catholic Church and sex, the official rules and regulations are very strict.

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