Bill Donohue's prongs and sockets
Posted on Wednesday, July 06, 2011 at 09:40 AM
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The Irish American watchdog has had it - had it - with this wrongheaded notion that gay people are human and deserve to live with dignity and in peace.
Why? Because Bill Donohue knows - he knows - that if you grant the gays the right to marry each other that total chaos will follow. I mean, look at Canada!
Allright, don't look at Canada - look at Spain; alright look at Norway, Sweden, Belgium, the Netherlands, Portugal - alright, I admit it - nothing happened.
So Donohue, 63, appears to have his work cut out for him.
But he know's what to do, it's why he makes the big bucks. Just forget Jesus' command to love one another and to help the poor, because as every third grade bully knows it's way more profitable to gay bait.
So I presume we can all just stop worrying about our immortal souls now, because for Donohue and the church that he professes to represent it really all comes down to what's in your underpants.
'I mean, let's face it. If you want electricity, if you want juice, you can't have two sockets touch each other or two prongs. The prong has to penetrate the socket,' Donohue announced on television last week.
The prong has to penetrate the socket.
Someone should knit him a sampler with that legend. I think it would make a terrific t-shirt too. I bet it would be a hit at Barney's.
It's what the staggering, unfathomable mystery of God and the vastness of Creation all comes down to for Donohue: the prong has to penetrate the socket. They apostles and prophets could have saved themselves a lot of time writing the Bible if they'd only had Donohue's clarity.
You can actually see him waving to you from the wrong side of history and the further shores of buffoonery, can't you? What's unfathomable to me is that the church thinks he makes a good spokesperson.
It's probably not an accident at all that people that genuinely seem to hate gays spend so much time visualizing in explicit deal what they do with their private parts and how they do it. (But it's not just gays who enjoy prongs and sockets, is it?)
Donohue has always existed on a very narrow spectrum that includes other self appointed spokespeople like Fred Phelps and Pat Robertson. All are men who bash their neighbors with God's love.
But with his prongs and sockets defense we can finally see what he's been reduced to as he - and they - finally fade into history, on a very leaky raft built of their own sophistries.
14 comments
Page 1 of 1 pages
McNamara31 | Jul 09, 2011, 08:45 AM EDT
FatherVol... Donohue is one of the most judgmental, arrogant, condescending individuals who speaks "as he" represents the church. I think the bloviating of this “divorced” so called conservative catholic, is more about making his $300, ooo plus salary a year, than truly safeguarding the church's reputation.
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eiriamach | Jul 07, 2011, 02:17 PM EDT
No, you can't just ignore Donohue because the media will not ignore him. He has become the ranting, angry, bigoted, narrow-minded public face of American Catholicism, and he will remain that until other Catholics challenge him. Who's going to challenge him? Bill O' Reilly? Hah! Bishops are sacked by the Vatican and priests are kicked out by their bishops if they advocate tolerance for diverse religions or equality for diverse sexual orientations. So the challenger(s) must come from the laity. Those with the knowledge and leverage to do it have been slapped down and threatened by the bishops, e.g., Cuomo. Can anyone name any articulate Catholic with media exposure who is not a far-right extremist? I don't see any way out of this very-embarrassing-for-Catholics predicament until the people in the pews begin demanding serious church reform measures and going public with their demands. Until that happens, Catholicism remains a far-right politics and political identity. 'Tis a pity; it used to be a religion for good-hearted, decent, thinking people. That day is long gone.
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Cmullaney | Jul 07, 2011, 10:58 AM EDT
Can't we please ignore this guy? He's irrelevant!
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Rebelforce | Jul 06, 2011, 10:29 PM EDT
If Hollywood Central Casting were trying to conjure up a loud, smug, ugly, narrow-minded, homophobic bigot to represent American Catholics they couldn't come up with a bigger doofus than this Bill Donohue clown. No wonder he keeps getting invited to appear on news and talk shows.
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seanomelbourne | Jul 06, 2011, 07:56 PM EDT
FatherVol should inform Donahue what FatherVol preaches.Donahue is a narrow thinking headline grabber.
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FatherVol | Jul 06, 2011, 04:56 PM EDT
Once again, the liberals have shown their true face by not practicing what they want to receive from others. The name-calling and character assassinationn is unnecessary if one can disagree with another on an intellectual level, Apparently, that can't be done by Mr. Cahir or most of teh respodants to his article. Disagree, if you must, but take teh high road and remain civil.
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DrTrelawney | Jul 06, 2011, 03:30 PM EDT
Very well put, Cahir. Happily, I think even most practicing Catholics regard Donohue as a menace. Does "the church [think] he is a good spokesperson"? His organisation is -- I understand it -- an independent gang of deluded busybodies that has no formal connection with the Catholic Church. (Not that I'm defending those gangsters.)
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quixotic | Jul 06, 2011, 02:54 PM EDT
The man is an idiot!
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Suivness10 | Jul 06, 2011, 02:53 PM EDT
Anybody who knows anything about Bill Donohue, and I know quite a few people, including those in the Archdiocese, knows he's a jackass.
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Nicomax | Jul 06, 2011, 01:10 PM EDT
Bill D. keeps forgetting we have a clearly written constitution that in effect states civil law trumps religious law in this country. But Bill is unlikely to be elected or appointed to any public position, so on he rants.
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Irishphotograph | Jul 06, 2011, 12:27 PM EDT
This issue aside..Bill is actually an enemy of Ireland. He was on Today FM a few years ago and stood up against the victims of Irish clerical sex abuse.
He is not wanted in Ireland and he may have an Irish name but that is all!
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Tropiholic | Jul 06, 2011, 09:40 AM EDT
What a nasty character. He must be very insecure with his own sexuality, otherwise he wouldn't be so concerned with what others do in their personal lives. To date not a single person has been able to tell me how allowing gays to marry affects my 34 year marriage in any way shape or form.
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francisquinn | Jul 06, 2011, 09:37 AM EDT
Wish we had more like Bill D.....
Your column just reeks of liberalims all the time...
Why cant you be fair and balanced...?
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