America's bullying epidemic and young gay suicides
By: Cahir O'Doherty | Published Sunday, October 3, 2010, 9:50 AM | Updated Friday, September 9, 2011, 9:51 PM
I have never been more disgusted by the state of this nation than I am tonight.
This week in
America we lost four young men to suicide for the same reason: they were being assaulted, bullied and harassed for being gay (or being believed to be gay).
Apparently, in American high schools, and in American life, if you don't conform to the narrowest, stupidest image of what being a typical guy is then your life's completely worthless.
These four unnecessary deaths come on the heels of three other young people (two were eleven-year-olds) taking their own lives a week earlier, for the same reasons.
The death of Tyler Clementi, a gifted violin student who jumped off the George Washington Bridge this week, is particularly shocking because of the premeditated cruelty that led to it.
What happened to Clementi unmasks a common assumption in this country: that homophobia is still acceptable, that it can be indulged in without consequence, and in fact you may even be rewarded by your peers.
It's cruelty so commonplace that it isn't even noticed.
The perpetrators in Clementi's case where his college roommate Dharun Ravi and freshman Molly Wei, both 18: the two decided to broadcast Clementi's private tryst over the internet.
They were apparently so titillated by the 'negative' connotations of gay sex that they failed to notice how deeply they were invading Clementi's privacy.
Had he been in bed with a woman, would this have happened? Do you believe they would they have outed him via an online broadcast? Or would they respected his privacy and would he still have his life?
In America our culture daily demonizes gay people to the point where, for many young people, just to be publicly revealed as gay is still, in 2010, an unendurable trauma.
Clementi was exposed, brutally so, before he had the chance to determine his own path for himself. But no one else has the right to make that announcement for him. They did a kind of violence to his spirit.
And in a truly revolting portrait of the society we are, the
Facebook Page that's been set up in Clementi's honor has already been completely overrun by hundreds of braying anti-gay bullies. Already they've posted multiple pictures of a body falling from the George Washington Bridge.
Then go over to the
Fox News website now and you'll see they're hosting a festival of hate in their comments section, with hundreds of posts like this one:
"The "victim" killed himself. Why? He was ASHAMED. I doubt you can get a jury to convict someone on "causing someone shame". The gay community needs to work on why he was ashamed rather than always making it the fault of those of us who don't agree with the lifestyle."
Another writes: "You know if had GOD in his heart he would not have jumped. Matter of fact if he had GOD in his heart he would not have been gay."
Another writes: "So much for Gay Pride."
First they shame you, then they say blame you for feeling ashamed. Snapshot, America 2010.
Police pulled the lifeless body of Tyler Clementi from the river on Thursday. The homophobes know he's dead and they still can't stop themselves from kicking him.
24 Comments
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
Switch to the desktop site to post a comment.Cyrill3000 | Feb 09, 2011, 11:02 AM EST
It is a shame to live in this part of the world in this century, having such a vast lack of developement in that way we consider ourselves. As a human being. We all know homosexuality does not mean a disadvantage in any way for a a society. It means diversity, creativity and it should be normal to give shelter and support to teenagers in trouble of being bullied! Reacting cynical on desperated kids who do not see any solution but suicide is not a bad mark of their sexual orientation (being gay means not just sex, sex is a detail of love, but love is not a detail of sex!), but a bad mark for the society they live in! In my opinion we all have the responsibility to intollerate fashistic structures! Those times should have been over!
maloney | Oct 21, 2010, 12:23 PM EDT
monsoon..cahir having a good heart went out the window after reading his most current stories. But at least he hasn't whined lately.
sykes2186 | Oct 20, 2010, 07:01 AM EDT
What is wrong with people?? I read the comments from Fox News and it churned my stomach! How can people be so cruel and blind to whats going on here? Lives are lost, and they're to busy judging those who have passed to see the pain involved, or that they are inflicting! Well, for all the narrow-minded idiots out there talking all this crap... these are CHILDREN! May God show mercy on you all who refuse to show mercy to others! Gay, straight, Bi, Transgender, whatever! Bullying is wrong! But you better believe that the gay community is going to come together. We are going to be stronger, and have more drive to fight! We are going to take care of one another and show that no matter what is done to us, we will rise above! And not just us... but anybody with a sense of compassion for others. HAPPY SPIRIT DAY!
Monsoonman | Oct 08, 2010, 09:42 AM EDT
The comments started out with James speaking to cahir: "Tragically, Cahir, the viciously ignorant, will always be with us."....Now I have disagreed with most of cahirs articles (98%) and I have called him ignorant on an occasion or two. But never viciously ignorant, I think deep down he has a good heart.
jamieLM | Oct 05, 2010, 09:20 AM EDT
You've made some good points, DennisQ.
DennisQ | Oct 05, 2010, 01:36 AM EDT
I think Jon Stewart is a bully because he always made fun of Rick Sanchez, of Miami Cuban heritage. The press has rallied around Jon Stewart, saying that Sanchez was egotistical and should have been "man enough" to take it. Irish Central writers predictably lined up against Sanchez, who we may presume, should not have said anything about being made fun of.
I might be unusual in that I actually listened to the radio interview. Sanchez said what needed to be said - that some teasing is inherently unfair because of status differences between the victimizers and the victimized.
One Irish Central writer defended America's "meritocracy" as if it were self-evident. I'm not sure he'll still think so twenty years from now.
Rebelforce | Oct 04, 2010, 08:49 PM EDT
In the same way a toothless, illiterate hillbilly living in a run-down shack will desperately cling to his racism because he was taught and wants to believe that having white skin automatically makes him superior to anyone black, so it is with many insecure homophobes who will steadfastly cling to their irrational homophobia because they desperately want to believe that being born heterosexual automatically makes them superior to anyone gay.
maloney | Oct 04, 2010, 06:07 PM EDT
mcnamara...shame upon you for bullying me. I'm very fragile. You hurt my feelings.
Searlit | Oct 04, 2010, 02:17 PM EDT
I try to treat other people the way I would like to be treated. Does that make me a Liberal?
Parents | Oct 04, 2010, 10:45 AM EDT
It takes a certain kind of personality to do such a cruel thing and I can't believe for a minute these two didn't know how hurtful and shameful this would be to him and to anyone else. It was cruel beyond anything we should accept. At the very least they should be thrown out of that school immediately and any legal charges brought against them that might be possible. Very, very cruel people.
jamieLM | Oct 04, 2010, 10:27 AM EDT
There should be zero tolerance for bullying (and hazing) - no matter who's doing it and for whatever reason. It's a shameful, disgusting practice. It's becomes more tragic when it results in the needless death of someone. Btw, bullying is not just an "American" problem. Bullying occurs in other countries, too.
mayoman | Oct 03, 2010, 10:21 PM EDT
Cahir, you're quite right. Thanks for speaking out against this sickening form of hatred.
Rebelforce | Oct 03, 2010, 07:20 PM EDT
If Tyler Clementi were black and experienced the sting of racism, atleast he would have been able to talk to his mother, father, brother, sister or other family members about it and get their advice on how to deal with it. But where does a gay kid turn for support? Raised in your average hetero family where being gay is seen as "disgraceful", "sinful" or a cause for ridicule, and among schoolkids who early learn the charge "you're gay" is the worst possible insult (apart from being called a girl) most gay kids find themselves completely alone and isolated to struggle as best they can with what they perceive to be their terrible, unpardonable "sin".
hollabackgurl | Oct 03, 2010, 07:04 PM EDT
The gays are bullying us into treating them like equal human beings. How dare they suggest that non-stop condemnation from conservative political and religious leaders has anything to do with how they're treated by society.
McNamara31 | Oct 03, 2010, 06:17 PM EDT
Truth Maloney... You mean your continual bigoted garbage you pass off for opinion. The U.S. would have been a much better place, if at Ellis, they had stamped your ancestors with "Return to Sender" on their forehead, and told them bigots need not apply.
maloney | Oct 03, 2010, 05:57 PM EDT
Great post MaryM. Jimmiemurphy, mcnamara & the good Doctor below don't like hearing the truth. Hollowbutt should be along any minute. Poor poor abused gays & the libs, who love their votes. The crying & moaning will start in earnest now.
DrTrelawney | Oct 03, 2010, 05:12 PM EDT
"Gays themselves are bullies" Really? All gays are bullies? What a squalid, bigoted comment from someone who, if her prose is any measure, could profit from a little education.
Searlit | Oct 03, 2010, 04:54 PM EDT
The more technological communication advances, the less we know about the human condition. It's extremely sad.
AlunPalmer | Oct 03, 2010, 03:11 PM EDT
They probably would have still done it if he had been with a woman, but this was much worse because they automatically outed him as gay at the same time. I think they are thoughtless to the point that they had no idea that their actions could have any consequences, much less that he might commit suicide. That doesn't excuse them, though. Quite the reverse. The words needed to describe them can't be posted online.
manhattan | Oct 03, 2010, 02:24 PM EDT
Being a mean SOB is nothing new or related to one's nationality. Because my Grandson loved acting in all the school musicals he was bullied every day of school. Of course if a child especially a boy has artistic talents instead of sports he has to be called a homo. Thank God my daughter put him in a Catholic boys school where there is zero tolerance and those talented kids are respected for there talents. God help those poor kids that are suffering in silence.
MaryM232 | Oct 03, 2010, 01:07 PM EDT
That is an out and out lie. Let's start with Clementi's harassers, who were the son of Indian immigrants, and Wei, the daughter of Chinese immigrants. Don't lump these people in with average Americans, instead, they are members of the immigrants can do whatever they wish and get away with it, it will be blamed on America instead.. which is the entire premise behind playing the hate card. Let's talk about Phoebe Prince, the daughter of an Irish illegal, who committed suicide, and we're told she was bullied by Americans. THe ringleader of the bullies was the daughter of a Hispanic illegal, and we've since learned that Prince had been not only suicidal when she lived in Ireland, her mother not making sure she took her medication, but the fact that Prince herself was a bully in Ireland. The Independent featured an interview with the girl Phoebe Prince used to bully in Ireland. Gays themselves are bullies, and they are using the premise of anti-bullying, to violently bully others who don't share their beliefs into conforming.
oldboreen | Oct 03, 2010, 12:44 PM EDT
So much for 'the land of the free'!
McNamara31 | Oct 03, 2010, 12:37 PM EDT
I agree with JamesMurphy. I also feel hate has been stoked, and anger has been held up as a sign of patriotism in the past years. Politicians are using anger and bias as a political maneuver to gain votes and that anger and bias is trickling down to enbrazen all types of actions on the people to which that anger or bias is directed. It’s so deeply sick, and depraved to think that college students thought this was OK to do to another human being.
JamesMurphy | Oct 03, 2010, 10:48 AM EDT
Tragically, Cahir the viciously ignorant will always be with us.