America's bullying epidemic and young gay suicides

Posted on Sunday, October 03, 2010 at 02:38 AM

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I have never been more disgusted by the state of this nation than I am tonight.

This week in America we lost four young men to suicide for the same reason: they were being assaulted, bullied and harassed for being gay (or being believed to be gay).

Apparently, in American high schools, and in American life, if you don't conform to the narrowest, stupidest image of what being a typical guy is then your life's completely worthless.

These four unnecessary deaths come on the heels of three other young people (two were eleven-year-olds) taking their own lives a week earlier, for the same reasons.

The death of Tyler Clementi, a gifted violin student who jumped off the George Washington Bridge this week, is particularly shocking because of the premeditated cruelty that led to it.

What happened to Clementi unmasks a common assumption in this country: that homophobia is still acceptable, that it can be indulged in without consequence, and in fact you may even be rewarded by your peers.

It's cruelty so commonplace that it isn't even noticed.

The perpetrators in Clementi's case where his college roommate Dharun Ravi and freshman Molly Wei, both 18: the two decided to broadcast Clementi's private tryst over the internet.

They were apparently so titillated by the 'negative' connotations of gay sex that they failed to notice how deeply they were invading Clementi's privacy.

Had he been in bed with a woman, would this have happened? Do you believe they would they have outed him via an online broadcast? Or would they respected his privacy and would he still have his life?

In America our culture daily demonizes gay people to the point where, for many young people, just to be publicly revealed as gay is still, in 2010, an unendurable trauma.

Clementi was exposed, brutally so, before he had the chance to determine his own path for himself. But no one else has the right to make that announcement for him. They did a kind of violence to his spirit.

And in a truly revolting portrait of the society we are, the Facebook Page that's been set up in Clementi's honor has already been completely overrun by hundreds of braying anti-gay bullies. Already they've posted multiple pictures of a body falling from the George Washington Bridge.

Then go over to the Fox News website now and you'll see they're hosting a festival of hate in their comments section, with hundreds of posts like this one:

"The "victim" killed himself. Why? He was ASHAMED. I doubt you can get a jury to convict someone on "causing someone shame". The gay community needs to work on why he was ashamed rather than always making it the fault of those of us who don't agree with the lifestyle."

Another writes: "You know if had GOD in his heart he would not have jumped. Matter of fact if he had GOD in his heart he would not have been gay."

Another writes: "So much for Gay Pride."

First they shame you, then they say blame you for feeling ashamed. Snapshot, America 2010.

Police pulled the lifeless body of Tyler Clementi from the river on Thursday. The homophobes know he's dead and they still can't stop themselves from kicking him.

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24 comments

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maloney | Oct 03, 2010, 05:57 PM EDT

Great post MaryM. Jimmiemurphy, mcnamara & the good Doctor below don't like hearing the truth. Hollowbutt should be along any minute. Poor poor abused gays & the libs, who love their votes. The crying & moaning will start in earnest now.

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DrTrelawney | Oct 03, 2010, 05:12 PM EDT

"Gays themselves are bullies" Really? All gays are bullies? What a squalid, bigoted comment from someone who, if her prose is any measure, could profit from a little education.

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Searlit | Oct 03, 2010, 04:54 PM EDT

The more technological communication advances, the less we know about the human condition. It's extremely sad.

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AlunPalmer | Oct 03, 2010, 03:11 PM EDT

They probably would have still done it if he had been with a woman, but this was much worse because they automatically outed him as gay at the same time. I think they are thoughtless to the point that they had no idea that their actions could have any consequences, much less that he might commit suicide. That doesn't excuse them, though. Quite the reverse. The words needed to describe them can't be posted online.

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manhattan | Oct 03, 2010, 02:24 PM EDT

Being a mean SOB is nothing new or related to one's nationality. Because my Grandson loved acting in all the school musicals he was bullied every day of school. Of course if a child especially a boy has artistic talents instead of sports he has to be called a homo. Thank God my daughter put him in a Catholic boys school where there is zero tolerance and those talented kids are respected for there talents. God help those poor kids that are suffering in silence.

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MaryM232 | Oct 03, 2010, 01:07 PM EDT

That is an out and out lie. Let's start with Clementi's harassers, who were the son of Indian immigrants, and Wei, the daughter of Chinese immigrants. Don't lump these people in with average Americans, instead, they are members of the immigrants can do whatever they wish and get away with it, it will be blamed on America instead.. which is the entire premise behind playing the hate card. Let's talk about Phoebe Prince, the daughter of an Irish illegal, who committed suicide, and we're told she was bullied by Americans. THe ringleader of the bullies was the daughter of a Hispanic illegal, and we've since learned that Prince had been not only suicidal when she lived in Ireland, her mother not making sure she took her medication, but the fact that Prince herself was a bully in Ireland. The Independent featured an interview with the girl Phoebe Prince used to bully in Ireland. Gays themselves are bullies, and they are using the premise of anti-bullying, to violently bully others who don't share their beliefs into conforming.

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oldboreen | Oct 03, 2010, 12:44 PM EDT

So much for 'the land of the free'!

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McNamara31 | Oct 03, 2010, 12:37 PM EDT

I agree with JamesMurphy. I also feel hate has been stoked, and anger has been held up as a sign of patriotism in the past years. Politicians are using anger and bias as a political maneuver to gain votes and that anger and bias is trickling down to enbrazen all types of actions on the people to which that anger or bias is directed. It’s so deeply sick, and depraved to think that college students thought this was OK to do to another human being.

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JamesMurphy | Oct 03, 2010, 10:48 AM EDT

Tragically, Cahir the viciously ignorant will always be with us.

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