America's bullying epidemic and young gay suicides
Posted on Sunday, October 03, 2010 at 02:38 AM
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This week in America we lost four young men to suicide for the same reason: they were being assaulted, bullied and harassed for being gay (or being believed to be gay).
Apparently, in American high schools, and in American life, if you don't conform to the narrowest, stupidest image of what being a typical guy is then your life's completely worthless.
These four unnecessary deaths come on the heels of three other young people (two were eleven-year-olds) taking their own lives a week earlier, for the same reasons.
The death of Tyler Clementi, a gifted violin student who jumped off the George Washington Bridge this week, is particularly shocking because of the premeditated cruelty that led to it.
What happened to Clementi unmasks a common assumption in this country: that homophobia is still acceptable, that it can be indulged in without consequence, and in fact you may even be rewarded by your peers.
It's cruelty so commonplace that it isn't even noticed.
The perpetrators in Clementi's case where his college roommate Dharun Ravi and freshman Molly Wei, both 18: the two decided to broadcast Clementi's private tryst over the internet.
They were apparently so titillated by the 'negative' connotations of gay sex that they failed to notice how deeply they were invading Clementi's privacy.
Had he been in bed with a woman, would this have happened? Do you believe they would they have outed him via an online broadcast? Or would they respected his privacy and would he still have his life?
In America our culture daily demonizes gay people to the point where, for many young people, just to be publicly revealed as gay is still, in 2010, an unendurable trauma.
Clementi was exposed, brutally so, before he had the chance to determine his own path for himself. But no one else has the right to make that announcement for him. They did a kind of violence to his spirit.
And in a truly revolting portrait of the society we are, the Facebook Page that's been set up in Clementi's honor has already been completely overrun by hundreds of braying anti-gay bullies. Already they've posted multiple pictures of a body falling from the George Washington Bridge.
Then go over to the Fox News website now and you'll see they're hosting a festival of hate in their comments section, with hundreds of posts like this one:
"The "victim" killed himself. Why? He was ASHAMED. I doubt you can get a jury to convict someone on "causing someone shame". The gay community needs to work on why he was ashamed rather than always making it the fault of those of us who don't agree with the lifestyle."
Another writes: "You know if had GOD in his heart he would not have jumped. Matter of fact if he had GOD in his heart he would not have been gay."
Another writes: "So much for Gay Pride."
First they shame you, then they say blame you for feeling ashamed. Snapshot, America 2010.
Police pulled the lifeless body of Tyler Clementi from the river on Thursday. The homophobes know he's dead and they still can't stop themselves from kicking him.
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maloney | Oct 21, 2010, 12:23 PM EDT
monsoon..cahir having a good heart went out the window after reading his most current stories. But at least he hasn't whined lately.
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sykes2186 | Oct 20, 2010, 07:01 AM EDT
What is wrong with people?? I read the comments from Fox News and it churned my stomach! How can people be so cruel and blind to whats going on here? Lives are lost, and they're to busy judging those who have passed to see the pain involved, or that they are inflicting! Well, for all the narrow-minded idiots out there talking all this crap... these are CHILDREN! May God show mercy on you all who refuse to show mercy to others! Gay, straight, Bi, Transgender, whatever! Bullying is wrong! But you better believe that the gay community is going to come together. We are going to be stronger, and have more drive to fight! We are going to take care of one another and show that no matter what is done to us, we will rise above! And not just us... but anybody with a sense of compassion for others. HAPPY SPIRIT DAY!
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Monsoonman | Oct 08, 2010, 09:42 AM EDT
The comments started out with James speaking to cahir: "Tragically, Cahir, the viciously ignorant, will always be with us."....Now I have disagreed with most of cahirs articles (98%) and I have called him ignorant on an occasion or two. But never viciously ignorant, I think deep down he has a good heart.
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jamieLM | Oct 05, 2010, 09:20 AM EDT
You've made some good points, DennisQ.
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DennisQ | Oct 05, 2010, 01:36 AM EDT
I think Jon Stewart is a bully because he always made fun of Rick Sanchez, of Miami Cuban heritage. The press has rallied around Jon Stewart, saying that Sanchez was egotistical and should have been "man enough" to take it. Irish Central writers predictably lined up against Sanchez, who we may presume, should not have said anything about being made fun of.
I might be unusual in that I actually listened to the radio interview. Sanchez said what needed to be said - that some teasing is inherently unfair because of status differences between the victimizers and the victimized.
One Irish Central writer defended America's "meritocracy" as if it were self-evident. I'm not sure he'll still think so twenty years from now.
I might be unusual in that I actually listened to the radio interview. Sanchez said what needed to be said - that some teasing is inherently unfair because of status differences between the victimizers and the victimized.
One Irish Central writer defended America's "meritocracy" as if it were self-evident. I'm not sure he'll still think so twenty years from now.
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Rebelforce | Oct 04, 2010, 08:49 PM EDT
In the same way a toothless, illiterate hillbilly living in a run-down shack will desperately cling to his racism because he was taught and wants to believe that having white skin automatically makes him superior to anyone black, so it is with many insecure homophobes who will steadfastly cling to their irrational homophobia because they desperately want to believe that being born heterosexual automatically makes them superior to anyone gay.
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maloney | Oct 04, 2010, 06:07 PM EDT
mcnamara...shame upon you for bullying me. I'm very fragile. You hurt my feelings.
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Searlit | Oct 04, 2010, 02:17 PM EDT
I try to treat other people the way I would like to be treated. Does that make me a Liberal?
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Parents | Oct 04, 2010, 10:45 AM EDT
It takes a certain kind of personality to do such a cruel thing and I can't believe for a minute these two didn't know how hurtful and shameful this would be to him and to anyone else. It was cruel beyond anything we should accept. At the very least they should be thrown out of that school immediately and any legal charges brought against them that might be possible. Very, very cruel people.
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jamieLM | Oct 04, 2010, 10:27 AM EDT
There should be zero tolerance for bullying (and hazing) - no matter who's doing it and for whatever reason. It's a shameful, disgusting practice. It's becomes more tragic when it results in the needless death of someone. Btw, bullying is not just an "American" problem. Bullying occurs in other countries, too.
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mayoman | Oct 03, 2010, 10:21 PM EDT
Cahir, you're quite right. Thanks for speaking out against this sickening form of hatred.
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Rebelforce | Oct 03, 2010, 07:20 PM EDT
If Tyler Clementi were black and experienced the sting of racism, atleast he would have been able to talk to his mother, father, brother, sister or other family members about it and get their advice on how to deal with it. But where does a gay kid turn for support? Raised in your average hetero family where being gay is seen as "disgraceful", "sinful" or a cause for ridicule, and among schoolkids who early learn the charge "you're gay" is the worst possible insult (apart from being called a girl) most gay kids find themselves completely alone and isolated to struggle as best they can with what they perceive to be their terrible, unpardonable "sin".
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hollabackgurl | Oct 03, 2010, 07:04 PM EDT
The gays are bullying us into treating them like equal human beings. How dare they suggest that non-stop condemnation from conservative political and religious leaders has anything to do with how they're treated by society.
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McNamara31 | Oct 03, 2010, 06:17 PM EDT
Truth Maloney... You mean your continual bigoted garbage you pass off for opinion. The U.S. would have been a much better place, if at Ellis, they had stamped your ancestors with "Return to Sender" on their forehead, and told them bigots need not apply.
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