Top ten ways to get an Irish woman to lose interest in you

Posted on Friday, September 16, 2011 at 05:34 AM

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Rules of engagement, some one-liners to send her running

Offer one of these lines when you find yourself at your whits end with an Irish woman, and they are sure to move on to the next fitting suitor.

1. “I’m don’t like sarcasm”
Few Irish people can exist without an injection of sarcasm in their everyday lives. She will be turned right off you when you tell her you’re too slow on the uptake.

2. “I don’t own a passport and never want to”
We are wanderlust race of people; few Irish women would entertain the thoughts of a future husband who has no interest in visiting the homeland.

3. “I cannot be with a woman who can drink me under the table”
An exceptionally believable excuse, tell the lady her ability to neck pints like Gatorade is too much for you.

4. “I really like the way your fake tan looks, can we try some on me?”
A pasty bunch, a lot of Irish women cannot do without their fake tan. But there is no call for a man to partake in bronzing themselves up. End of, she’ll be delighted to see the back of ya.

5. “Bono is my hero”
Talk about a lack of originality. Yes the global rock-star has accomplished great things in his life, but he is not considered to be Ireland’s God.
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6. “Lets go get a mani/pedi together”
Alarm bells, a metro-sexual statement like this will immediately start her questioning your sexuality.

7 “My mom is coming over to do my laundry, you want to meet her”
If you’re old enough to date a woman, you’re old enough to work a washer/dryer. The Irish woman won’t even entertain your request, she will high tail it out the door before you find your laundry basket.

8. “I think you talk too much”
A look of disgust will spread over her face. What an outrageous to say to a member of the one of the most articulate races in the world.

9. “I actually cannot leave Woodlawn as I’m under house arrest”
Of course some small part of every woman craves a bad boy, but no one is about to bring a convict home to the family in Ireland.

10. “I'm ready for you to start seeing my therapist”
Call us old fashioned, but there should only be two people involved in a relationship.

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