Matchmakers are timeless - in a modern world there’s still space for giving love a helping hand
By: Maureen Tara Nelson | Published Saturday, December 22, 2012, 9:15 AM | Updated Saturday, December 22, 2012, 9:15 AM
|Maureen Tara Nelson|
In an ever changing world, one trend that has not gone out of style is matchmaking. For centuries cultures around the world have used matchmakers as a way to connect with a potential partner, because what could be more important than choosing the right person to spend your life with?
After 12 years of experience in this field I know it is not an easy undertaking, nor one that should be entered into lightly. With technology advancing daily, the increased divorce rate as well as the fairly modern idea of “romantic love” being one’s right, the need for a matchmaker has never been greater.
Arranged marriages are still a part of many eastern cultures, as they were historically. However, today a majority of the world has embraced the Christian medieval ideas of “romantic love” and considers the idea of not choosing one’s own partner archaic.
When marriages were still predominantly arranged the matchmaker was used as a type of go between because the matchmaker knew more people and therefore was able to cast a wider net. In the past the job of the matchmaker, aside from finding a partner, was to check the ethnic background and compatibility of both parties to make sure the match was both successful and appropriate.
I understand my own grandmother did this in Ireland, in Knock, Co. Mayo. Is it a coincidence that my grandmother did this just to find suitable mates for her Irish friends and I later became a matchmaker? Or is it in my genes? I think it is in my genes.
Today the matchmaker’s job is far deeper than simply checking religion and upbringing, although for many these are still important factors. The matchmaker must really come to know and understand their clients.
Every intricacy and every small, perhaps seemingly irrelevant nuance of the person they are finding love for. Even knowing someone and understanding them is still such a small percentage of ensuring a successful match. Matchmakers must realize and anticipate the needs and desires of people.
When marriages were arranged attraction and chemistry were not factors as they are in modern times, which is why intuition is key.
Although with the current burst of technology it is easier to cast a wider net on your own, that does not mean you should seek a partner on your own without guidance. With well over 1,000 dating sites active it has never been easier to connect with others. However, it in no way means the people you are connecting with are right for you or even available.
I say with great sadness that every day I hear the same stories from online dating. There are misrepresentations after misrepresentations online.
Either the person is married, has a partner, is only interested in having sexual partners, is not the profession listed, is lying about his/her age, or in some cases a criminal preying on those in a vulnerable state.
Technology has brought great ease to our lives in many regards, but it has de-personalized love and dating to the point where some are forgetting how to communicate when they are not in front of a computer or phones distance apart.
Matchmakers know you personally, and they care who you are. They empathize with you. They coach you. They make sure you can go into a date with a stranger with the assurance of safety and availability.
The Internet can not accomplish any of this because it does not have the feelings and wisdom of a matchmaker. The Internet may always be a choice for some singles, but it could never be as safe and accurate in finding your partner as a matchmaker will be.
Even when choosing a matchmaker there are many differences you will find in them. Most matchmakers make the entire decision of the potential match for the client. We do not.
We at Maureen Tara Matchmaking believe chemistry is equally as important as compatibility, and we let our clients decide if the chemistry is there first before meeting, by showing photos.
All of my 1,200 clients appreciate the fact that by showing photos, there is no blind dating in our program. I am proud to say I have over 1,000 success stories with the old fashioned type of matchmaking that I have developed in my program.
In today’s world matchmaking is no longer viewed as a vehicle for people who cannot find someone themselves; in fact it’s quite the opposite.
For successful, busy, selective singles looking for marriage, using a matchmaker gives them the opportunity to find someone who is at the same level of quality as themselves. It has now become as equivalent as hiring an accountant to do your taxes, or an attorney to handle your legal matters rather
than doing it yourself.
I believe that there is a right person for everyone. The exact phrase I use is, “There is a lid for every pot.” It is my job to find the proper lid that fits for my clients.
Lastly, I believe that although the roles of a matchmaker may evolve and change shape within society, the core values of a matchmaker which are love, family, and happiness are time transcendent.
I am one of those who is fortunate enough to see these connections being made every day all the while hoping that perhaps I have filled my couple’s lives with happiness as they have mine.
With the holidays upon us and a bright new year fast approaching, now is the perfect time to find love. I am proud to have been named “The Irish American Matchmaker” and would love to help all the singles out there who are looking for a committed relationship or marriage.
I pride myself on finding love easy for my clients, by meeting with all of them personally and matching them personally, along with having a fabulous, caring staff that are also proud to be Irish.
We do all the work for our clients. You sit back and enjoy the dating process, as it was years ago for our ancestors.
For more information, check out our website at mtnmatchmaking.com
. If you are interested in hearing more about this process and wish to make your complimentary appointment call 516-444-2861, or 1-888-31-match(62824). We have offices in Manhattan and Long Island. Mention this article and receive a fantastic holiday discount.