The Matchmakerby Maureen Tara Nelson
- Dealing with a gay son and a homophobic partner, ditch the jerk?
- My man, his money and his children from another marriage
- Never been kissed, dealing with itimacy issues in relationships
- "Once a cheater, always a cheater" getting out before you get hurt
- Finding your match, a happy ending for two readers who found love
I have a bit of an issue with my gal that I've been dating for a year now. When we first met she looked fantastic. She was thin, wore makeup, and dressed nicely. Lately she hasn't been trying to impress me at all. I know I sound superficial, but her personality is great and if she stayed looking as fine as she looked in the beginning, I would be asking her to marry me by now. She has recently put on an extra 30 pounds and doesn't work out at the gym anymore.
I've been reading your column for years and never thought I would be writing personally, but I have a situation that I need your advice on.
I have a very successful career in the car industry and six months ago a beautiful woman come into my dealership and bought a car from me. I fell for her from the first moment I saw her. Since she bought the car from me I've been trying to get her to go out with me. Unfortunately, she keeps saying no for many different reasons. I didn't make #1 Salesperson of the year with my company by giving up, so I have been calling her every week trying to change her mind
I am 57 and I think a handsome guy. Even though I have a couple of pounds to lose, I think I am a good catch. She is 43, beautiful, smart and the woman of my dreams. I need your help in trying to have her give me a chance. I should also mention to you a recent situation that occurred and now she will not take my calls anymore. I am devastated by this and need your thoughts on what to do.
Last time I spoke to her she told me she couldn't talk because her father passed away. I wanted to give her my condolences but she was too quick on the phone and hung up. I thought it would be a good gesture if I sent flowers to the funeral home. After that I decided to go and pay my respects personally to her. I got all dressed up and drove an hour away to the funeral home just to let her know how much I care about her and would like to get to know her better. I thought she would appreciate my going out of my way to see her.
When she saw me she looked like she saw a ghost. I approached her and gave her my condolences. She abruptly told me that it was inappropriate for me to be there since she doesn't know me well. I was shocked. I thought she would at least be appreciative that I sent her flowers and went out of my way to tell her personally how much I care.
Now she won't take any of my calls. I keep remembering her words that It wasn't appropriate for me to be there and it is killing me. What is your take on the situation? Do you think she was just in mourning and didn't realize how hurtful she was to me? Thanks, No name.
Dear No name,
I've been dating a beautiful girl for eight years. Things are great between us and we seem to be very compatible. The only problem is that she would like to get married and I don't want to. I am very happy with the arrangement we have now. We see each other almost every day and have great sex. I wish she would spend the night at my house, but she says she will not do that until we get married.