The Matchmakerby Maureen Tara Nelson
- Dealing with a gay son and a homophobic partner, ditch the jerk?
- My man, his money and his children from another marriage
- Never been kissed, dealing with itimacy issues in relationships
- "Once a cheater, always a cheater" getting out before you get hurt
- Finding your match, a happy ending for two readers who found love
Best of luck to you and your son! - MTN
I have a weird problem. I met this very pretty girl some months back and we've been together almost every night of the week, since we've met. She always will stay at my house. Sex is great so I should have nothing to complain about, except for the fact that she won't ever kiss me. I asked her the first time she asked me not to kiss her why, but she just said she doesn't like it.
It's Kevin. We met a little over six months ago. You told me immediately that you would never forget me since I have your brother's name. You matched me up FIRST with Kathy. You told her you wouldn't forget her name since you have a sister in law named Kathy. We were both readers of your column and Kathy even had written in to you once back a year ago. You gave her such great advice, she came in and joined with you.
My lovely fiance Kathy had to kiss some frogs before meeting me, she said. But she said you told her never to give up because you never know when the right one would come along. She took your advice and said your positive attitude made her stay positive. Then six months ago we had our first date. I thought I was in heaven. She called you for another match.
You told her how wonderful I was and that she needed to give me a second chance. I had been divorced shortly before and really wasn't at my best confidence wise. You built up my confidence once you met me. Everything you told me that day helped me be the man I am now.
Thank God Kathy took your advice and our second date was lovely. Each one got better than the next. We've been together, almost every day for the past six months and I asked her last week to marry me! We wouldn't have found each other without you! Even more important, if you didn't guide us both during our journey, we wouldn't be engaged right now. We would have just had one date. I don't know how to thank you, other than to tell everyone reading that you truly are a gem.
You are an amazing lady Maureen. Nothing gets you down. I'm sorry to hear what you had to go through in June, but very happy to hear how quickly you bounced back. It truly is amazing. God bless you and I hope all the Irish folks come in to see you like we did.
Kathy says hi, thank you, and that she trusted you from the day you met. The only thing she wants to know is if you really have a sister in law Kathy, ha ha...
All singles, call this lady. She knows her stuff, and she cares about you too! What else can you want from anyone? Call her! Thanks again, we'll hopefully see you at our wedding. - Kevin.
Again, if it takes more than six months, then call me. I have 1200 clients that I'm sure would love to meet you! - MTN
I need a very basic answer to a modern day question and you are probably the only person my girlfriend will trust with this problem we are having.
I really need help from you and I need it fast. Last night I was making it with my girl and we both fell asleep after. She woke me up screaming at me that I'm a cheating loser since apparently in my sleep I said the name of my ex girlfriend. I swear to you Maureen, I did not cheat with my ex. It was just a dream, and I don't even remember having the dream.
I need your advice. I've been dating a lovely woman for a few months now. So far she seems perfect in every way. In fact, I have been thinking lately that I would like to take her as a wife. However last week we had a fight. I made a stupid mistake and went out with my buddies and stayed out to closing. The next day we were to meet her mother for the first time and with the hangover I stayed in bed all day and couldn't go.
I need your help. I've been dating my boyfriend for over ten years and we are great together. I've been told by all my friends that they can tell how compatible we are to each-other. The sex is great, the relationship is great, and we live together. The problem is that he says he has a commitment phobia and will never marry me.
I bet you never heard a problem like mine before. I read your column every week and I think it's great. I have never seen a problem like what I'm going through, so I thought I would give you a try to see if you can help. I'll call myself Joe...
Hi. I am hoping you can help me solve a very difficult problem...
I have a bit of an issue with my gal that I've been dating for a year now. When we first met she looked fantastic. She was thin, wore makeup, and dressed nicely. Lately she hasn't been trying to impress me at all. I know I sound superficial, but her personality is great and if she stayed looking as fine as she looked in the beginning, I would be asking her to marry me by now. She has recently put on an extra 30 pounds and doesn't work out at the gym anymore.
I've been reading your column for years and never thought I would be writing personally, but I have a situation that I need your advice on.
I have a very successful career in the car industry and six months ago a beautiful woman come into my dealership and bought a car from me. I fell for her from the first moment I saw her. Since she bought the car from me I've been trying to get her to go out with me. Unfortunately, she keeps saying no for many different reasons. I didn't make #1 Salesperson of the year with my company by giving up, so I have been calling her every week trying to change her mind
I am 57 and I think a handsome guy. Even though I have a couple of pounds to lose, I think I am a good catch. She is 43, beautiful, smart and the woman of my dreams. I need your help in trying to have her give me a chance. I should also mention to you a recent situation that occurred and now she will not take my calls anymore. I am devastated by this and need your thoughts on what to do.
Last time I spoke to her she told me she couldn't talk because her father passed away. I wanted to give her my condolences but she was too quick on the phone and hung up. I thought it would be a good gesture if I sent flowers to the funeral home. After that I decided to go and pay my respects personally to her. I got all dressed up and drove an hour away to the funeral home just to let her know how much I care about her and would like to get to know her better. I thought she would appreciate my going out of my way to see her.
When she saw me she looked like she saw a ghost. I approached her and gave her my condolences. She abruptly told me that it was inappropriate for me to be there since she doesn't know me well. I was shocked. I thought she would at least be appreciative that I sent her flowers and went out of my way to tell her personally how much I care.
Now she won't take any of my calls. I keep remembering her words that It wasn't appropriate for me to be there and it is killing me. What is your take on the situation? Do you think she was just in mourning and didn't realize how hurtful she was to me? Thanks, No name.
Dear No name,
I've been dating a beautiful girl for eight years. Things are great between us and we seem to be very compatible. The only problem is that she would like to get married and I don't want to. I am very happy with the arrangement we have now. We see each other almost every day and have great sex. I wish she would spend the night at my house, but she says she will not do that until we get married.
I really need your help. I've been dating a great guy for a year. We have seen each other every day since we met. I just recently found out something disturbing though and I do not know how to handle it...
My boyfriend needed me to buy him something with his money so I went into his wallet to get the money that I needed. I saw a couple of prescriptions for pain medication already filled out in his name. I know he got into a car accident last year and sometimes he mentions that his back hurts, but he never said he was taking pain meds.
Do I tell him I saw the prescriptions? Or just start looking for signs of a problem?
I really do not want to lose him since things are going so well, but if he has a problem with drugs, I really want to know about it.
Thanks for your help.
I am in a very bad relationship with a man I've been with for ten years. He wants to get married, but he is abusive and I am having a hard enough time in breaking up with him now, without any papers legally binding me to him. I know he doesn't want to change, in fact he doesn't think he is wrong. He says I make him mad and that it is my fault. I know he only wants to marry me to control me more and thinks I'll be too afraid to divorce him since I am Catholic.
I really need your help. I would like to join your service, in your new Westchester office, but I don't know how to break up with him first. Please give me any advice you can. I am 30 years old and would love to find Mr. Right, get married and one day have a child. Do you think it's possible? - Lea
PLEASE CONTINUE TO EMAIL IN YOUR QUESTIONS TO MTN AT firstname.lastname@example.org.
PLEASE CONTINUE TO EMAIL IN YOUR QUESTIONS TO MTN AT email@example.com.
PLEASE CONTINUE TO EMAIL IN YOUR QUESTIONS TO MTN AT firstname.lastname@example.org.
I really need your advice. I'm 29 years old and all my friends are married. I've been told by many men in my life that I am attractive. I am at the point in my life that I would like to get married too, and also to soon start having children.
Last weekend I finally got one of my married friends to go out with me. We went to a really popular club and I met a really gorgeous guy. We talked for four hours. My girlfriend ended up leaving me there with this guy. After we talked at the club for a while longer he asked me if I wanted to hang out more at his house. I felt a real connection with him, so I agreed.
I had one of the greatest nights of my life and I ended up staying the night. In the morning he seemed like a different guy. He was very cold to me and was rushing to take me home so he could go to work. I kept waiting for him to ask for my phone number, but he never did. Finally as he dropped me off I asked him if he wanted it. I know it sounds desperate, but since we had such an amazing emotional connection the night before, I wasn't sure if maybe he was worried about being late for work and maybe it just slipped his mind to ask. He answered "yes" and wrote down my number. His last words to me were "I'll call you."
Well, no call as of yet. Last night I was so mad and disappointed in him that I remembered where he said he worked and I called him there. He seemed cold on the phone and said he was very busy at work and would call me back. Well, no call.
My question to you is...if he didn't want to see me again, why did he go out of his way so much to make our evening together so great? And if he wasn't interested, why wasn't he honest with me and just said he didn't want to see me again? What is with these guys in New York?
- Single in NY
Dear Single in NY,
P.S. if you only want thin girls, make sure you get rid off your extra pounds that you mentioned about yourself, ha ha. - MTN
As I am writing this I realize it is not a huge problem however, it is something that has bothered me for years and I do not know how to approach the subject with my boyfriend. Every holiday and every birthday, I always spend time and money getting my boyfriend a gift that I know he will love, and every year my gift seems like an after thought. We have been dating for five years and we have discussed that we plan on getting engaged next year when we both turn 25.
As for the gifts he gives me, he obviously spends a substantial amount less than I do on gifts and I am not materialistic by any means, but it does bother me. It is not even the gift itself that bothers me but the lack of thought he puts into it. For Christmas this year I got him an expensive watch, his favorite cologne, a couple of sweaters, and a couple of his favorite cd's. He gave me a pair of earrings. I took the earrings to the store just to get an idea of how much he spent on me, and the clerk said the earrings were originally $100, but they were discounted 50% during December; so he spent $50 on me...How do I approach this with my boyfriend without seeming ungrateful or spoiled?
One more question. I am Irish American and he is from Ireland. My last boyfriend was from Ireland and he was the same way. Do you think it might have something to do with the Irish culture? Thanks for your help. I love reading your column.
I have been with my boyfriend for seven years and everything is great except whenever I bring up marriage he gets weird to the point that I do not bring it up anymore. How long is too long to wait for a proposal? My parents love him and I love his parents. The only thing I can think might be holding him back is that I'm Catholic and he is not religious at all. He knows I want a church wedding, and I know he doesn't want a mass. He would need to take some classes in order for us to have a mass in a Catholic church. My three sisters all got married in the church with a mass, so it is really important to my family.
Do you think this is the problem, or do you think there is something else wrong that he does not want to marry me?
. If you are interested in hearing more about this process and wish to make your complimentary appointment call 516-444-2861, or 1-888-31-match(62824). We have offices in Manhattan and Long Island. Mention this article and receive a fantastic holiday discount.
I am engaged to a beautiful, smart, and funny woman. However, since the engagement I have been bothered by things that I did not realize before. I cannot stand the way she treats her dog like it is a child. Her dog has to sleep in the bed with us.
Also we can’t come to an agreement about where we will live. I want our own place in order to start our life together fresh. She wants me to move into her childhood house where she now lives and also where there are still a lot of painful memories for her. I cannot understand why she wants to continue to live there when all she has ever told me is how awful it was being there. The more I think about these issues the more I am thinking it is not going to work.
Do you think there is any hope for my relationship? She is a wonderful person, but she may not be right for me.
I have a huge problem with my girlfriend of five years. We are high school sweethearts and I know she's the one I want to marry one day. She has been talking about getting married for the past year almost every day despite the fact that I told her I need to finish college and get my career set first. We have been living together for the past three years and I think it's the perfect situation. I have loved her from the first time we had sex in high school. We have a lot of the same interests and I have lots of chemistry with her. She believes like me that when you love each other, you should have sex every day. In the past five years we have had sex almost every day, except beginning a month ago.
Last month she got hurt and had to be laid up. Since I work and go to school I obviously couldn't take care of her so she stayed at her mother's house. I tried to come over as much as I could, but it was really hard with my busy schedule. I really missed having sex with her every day. Many times I had to do it myself since I couldn't make it over to her mom’s house, but I always thought of her while pleasing myself.
She has another month of resting before she can move back in. Every night that I can't come over she now gives me a hard time and has been breaking my balls about not seeing her. She has been really driving me nuts to the point where I had to look elsewhere for sex. There's a girl in my school and we've always kind of flirted with each other. Once my girlfriend started pushing me hard I stepped it up with this girl. I found out she enjoys having sex as much as I do. She told me she hasn't had sex since her last boyfriend a year ago. She was definitely hinting to have sex with me. I never mentioned to this girl that I have a girlfriend.
We ended up having sex only four times and it was great. Even though I love my girlfriend it was such a high to be with someone else. Well last week after seeing the girl I was on my way home and my girlfriend called and demanded I come over to talk. I told her I was really exhausted but she didn't care. I got there and all she kept saying was that she feels I don't love her anymore since the past two weeks I've been going over there less than usual. I ended up falling asleep in her bed and the girl from school texted me that I forgot my book at her house and how great the sex we had was. She woke me up hysterical and told me to leave. That was last week and she won't talk to me and I'm not allowed over her mom's house to see her.
I am really sorry for what I did and realize how stupid it was. I told the girl in school and she now hates me too because I didn't tell her I had a girlfriend. I don't know what to do. I miss my girlfriend and want her back but she won't give me a chance to explain my side of why I did what I did. Is there any advice you can give me to get my girlfriend back?
Thanks, - Joey