My Irish family is being diluted
| Published Friday, December 21, 2012, 8:22 PM | Updated Friday, December 21, 2012, 8:22 PM
Dear Colleen,
My 36-year-old daughter has just met a man she believes is the most wonderful man alive. To say such a naive thing a 36-years-old baffles me, but I've spent so long worrying whether or not she will find anyone, that I'm happy she's happy. But.....
Well there is no 'correct' way to say this, but he is different to us. He is has a totally different background to her, and my biggest peev of all - he is not Irish American. Not even close.
I brought my three children up to be strong Catholic Irish Americans, with all the values that brings. However, my daughter has fallen for a man who is the total opposite!I can't help but feel disappointed. They talk about having children, and I can't believe we are being 'watered down'.
I've been told that Irish Americans are a dying breed at the moment because current immigration issues mean that very few Irish are coming to the US.
I am disappointed with this, but more than anything, that my future grandchildren will not be Irish, and that the traditions I know and love best will be lost.
How do you suggest I deal with this? Just open my arms and face facts?
Regards,
Anne, Mass.
Dear Anne,
To be honest with you - yes, you have to open your arms and face facts. You can't control these things, nor should you interfere.
Your 'disappointment' should be nothing more than that. Don't let it ruin this wonderful time for your daughter.
And your possible grandchildren will be as Irish as your daughter wants them to be!
They might not look Irish or have Irish names, but that's not what it's about.
They might grow up with a strong sense of heritage, humor, and passion. They might have a genuine interest in others, and be able to roll with the punches in life. That is as Irish as you need them to be.
So welcome this man into your family, and enjoy the prospects for your daughter.
14 Comments
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Switch to the desktop site to post a comment.irishbrownchild | Nov 21, 2010, 05:57 AM EST
hello, i have a strong irish heritage and carribean background my father is irish my mother a beautiful brown woman of the islands, we are a complete family not diluted, my parents married in 1956 when it was illegal for those of white skin to marry a brown person, my father strong , irish, gentle, loving would not let it get in the way, he married my mum anyway i was born in 1968, diluted do you know how painful that is to see on paper, respecially from one , you, who i would call my countrywoman, we are all created from different paces oe cannot judge whom to love on background, wake up open you i am also welsh west indian, egyptian, english, in my home you see all aspects of my background and i love it, so sorry for you, and remember you r prejudice hurts others think before you judge, meet a person before you judge, just stop judging you may be happie!!!!!!
MarthaAnne | Oct 21, 2010, 01:52 PM EDT
I am 3/4 Irish and 1/4 Yankee (English). I guess I need to hate myself.
Monsoonman | Oct 02, 2010, 01:05 PM EDT
From a previous IC story: "Limerick man Kamal Ibrahim (24) has won the Mr. World title in South Korea." He is 1/2 Italian?
goldenblade | Sep 09, 2010, 04:18 AM EDT
I was going to comment on this post but frankly lost the will to live.....
Mairin67 | Aug 21, 2010, 10:47 AM EDT
MAybe the daughter doesn't particularly like all the Irishness that was forced on her over the years and is rebelling??? "Watered down"? That is quite an elitist remark. Why did the family ever come to the US? If you only want to associate with Irish people, then there is only one place on earth to do that.....and it ain't the US!
McNamara31 | Aug 20, 2010, 06:09 PM EDT
If you come to America, don't be surprised if your child falls in love with another who came in search of the American dream. If you're not prepared to accept that possibility, maybe it's best to stay where you are.
MAGHNUS | Aug 17, 2010, 06:32 AM EDT
The Irish are a minority in Ireland because they don't want to be called racists...call me a racist any day of the week, but that doesn't me I won't chuck you back out into the water where you belong.
MAGHNUS | Aug 17, 2010, 06:30 AM EDT
I'm so happy that both of my parents families were Irish...I won't date a girl if she's not Irish.
jamieLM | Aug 12, 2010, 04:57 PM EDT
Irishfez: Don't you think there'll be more intermarriage between the Irish and non-Irish, like there's been in the U.S. over the years? That would mean less "pure" Irish. Maybe you think that's a good idea. Just asking.
irishfez | Aug 12, 2010, 12:11 PM EDT
And that would be great for the country!!! Less repression, more open minds. Ireland will always be full of Irish, American however....
jamieLM | Aug 11, 2010, 07:16 PM EDT
Yes, irishfez, but the Irish might be in the minority and that could bring cultural and religious changes to Ireland at a more rapid pace than what might normally evolve. Just saying.
irishfez | Aug 11, 2010, 05:13 PM EDT
Kids will always be born in Ireland, and Ireland will always be inhibited by native people. It's different
GeorgeDillon | Aug 11, 2010, 02:47 PM EDT
If you think Irish-Americans as a distinct grouping are under threat, what about the Irish themselves? According to many projections, the Irish polcy of Open Door Mass Immigration will leave the Irish as a minority in their own ancestral homeland in a decade or two.
irishfez | Aug 11, 2010, 01:54 PM EDT
Interesting point you make about us being a dying diluted ethnicity.. It is true sadly