With the holiday season in full swing once again, we have taken the time to gather all the Christmas tunes that get too much air time over the festive period. Love them or hate them, there is something here for everyone. Call us a bunch of Scrooges, but these songs have us going ‘Bah, Humbug!’
1. “Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time” - Paul McCartney
This song is thought to be unbearable across the board.
2. “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer” - Dr. Elmo
In our research we’ve found that Christmas songs sometimes take on an odd angle, and this one may take the cake. Grandma, dying, on Christmas?!
3. “I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas” - Gayla Peevey
As if the sentiment of this odd song isn’t enough, the vocal tracking of the nasal Gayla Peevey is the star on top of the Christmas tree.
4. “So This Is Christmas (War is Over)” - John Lennon
An unsettling paradox of the joy of Christmas set against the horrors of the world. Depressing … thanks, John:
5. “Christmas Shoes” - Newsong
Picking perhaps the most depressing sentiment (a young boy wanting to take care of his dying mother) and pairing it with Christmas results in the most cringe-worthy song we’ve ever heard.
6. “Do They Know It’s Christmas?” - Band Aid
Continuing with the depression streak, we have Band Aid’s original Christmas tune.
Sure, it’s for charity, which we can’t argue with, nor can we argue with a 1984 Bono, but this ‘80s synthesized song imposes too much of a guilt-trip for the holiday season.
7. “I Wish It Could Be Christmas Every Day” - Wizzard
Christmas is fun and all, but every day?
No, thanks. Plus the costumes these guys are decked out in in the video are just plain creepy.
8. “Mistletoe” - Justin Bieber
Fair enough, it was the Biebs' first foray into Christmas tunes, but any Christmas ditty that employs the term “shawty” is flat out wrong in our book.
9. “We Wish You a Merry Christmas” - Enya
While the sentiment is nice, the repetition is grating. Plus, what is figgy pudding and why would anyone want it brought to them? Here’s Enya’s slower take on the song, which makes it probably even more annoying.
10. “Christmas Time is Here” - A Charlie Brown Christmas
Whether it’s the prepubescent voices squeaking out this song, or the ho-hum interlude typical of Charlie Brown, this song just doesn’t get our spirits high.
* Originally published December 2014.