\"The

The 22 types of people you see at an Irish mass - the holy joe/parish busy body Photo by: World Irish

The 22 types of people you see at an Irish mass (PHOTOS)

\"The

The 22 types of people you see at an Irish mass - the holy joe/parish busy body Photo by: World Irish

1. The holy joe/parish busy body

You know the guy; the one who opens the chapel, does the collection, reads, serves communion, along with a whole host of other goody-two-shoes mass related activities.

Undoubtedly the priest's favourite.

2. The smelly farmer

Runs in from milking, no time to wash the face. Just throw off the wellies and on the boots, and straight out the door!

Then some poor soul has to sit beside him for 40 minutes while he reeks of sweat and souring milk.

3. The grannies who arrived early to light candles


They light a candle for Jimmy because he has exams, they light a candle for Louise because she's away in the Gaelteacht, for Micky because he's after going in to get the hip done, they light a candle for Brendan because he's after losing his good pair of trousers...

...The list goes on.

4. The lads down the back


The cool lads down the back not giving a flying freckle what's going on above on the altar. They're there to chat football, the price of cattle and the Late Late Show.

5. The screaming toddler


For the love of God would they just shut up!? Inevitably the mother or father has to take them out and then they get a good rollicking when they get home.

It's happened to all of us when we were young, don't deny it.

6. The folks who don't know the new prayers


Peace be with you –

And also wit ... What do you mean it's 'and with your spirit' now!?

7. The Priest who cuts sermons short if there's a football match


Keep an eye out for the irreplaceable Fr Kevin Fay in the video above. He's the guy running and jumping across the field when Ben Conaty scores a goal for St Pats College, Cavan.

8. The young lad who's left standing at the altar at communion


The poor divil heads up last for communion, walking behind a grown up and then the priest doesn't see them. Alas they're left mortified, on their own at the altar, not knowing whether to run out of the chapel or cry.

9. The late arrivals


Being late's always acceptable once it's before the Gospel ... right?

10. The one who thinks she's Celine Dion


The one who's not in the choir but thinks they should be. Sings along with every song but usually sounds like Liam Neeson chasing a load of hens around in a barrel.

11. The slow and boring priest


Speaking of Fr Ted; their boring priest character is one we know too well in real life. He's dull, monotonous and his sermons seem to last a fortnight!

12. The nearly deaf person who shouts

No matter where you are in the chapel you can hear their responses above everyone else.

What's worse now is the fact that they're usually old and set in their ways so haven't adjusted to the new prayers – causing utter havoc amongst the congregation.

13. The girl you fancy


Well I dare say there's no more uncomfortable place for young teenage lad to see the girl from down the road that he fancies.

For the first ten minutes you give out to yourself for thinking about a girl while in mass but then you give in and stare at her for the rest of the sermon. Then of course there's the terribly awkward moment when you've to walk by her seat on the way to communion!

14. The ones who leave after communion


There's no time! I have to get home in time for Sunday Brunch on Channel 4.

COMMENTS

Log in with your social accounts:

Or, log in with your IrishCentral account:

Forgot your password ?

Don't have an account yet? Register now !

Join IrishCentral with your social accounts:


Already have an account ?

For Newsletter Subscribers – Draw for 1 Prize on December 31st.

Prize: Your Piece of Ireland – a Square of Land in the heart of the Glens of Antrim, Ireland

More details here (or you can buy a little piece of Ireland directly): http://bit.ly/1zew9ox

Terms & Conditions

Or, sign up for an IrishCentral account below:

By clicking above you are indicating that you have read & agree to our Terms and Privacy Policy.


Make sure we gathered the correct information from you

By clicking above you are indicating that you have read & agree to our Terms and Privacy Policy.


You already have an account on IrishCentral! Please confirm you're the owner.


Our new policy requires our users to save a first and last name. Please update your account: