\"Halloween

Halloween recipes - carrot fingers Photo by: spoonful.com

Halloween ghost stories and recipes, top ten reasons why Halloween is better than sex!

\"Halloween

Halloween recipes - carrot fingers Photo by: spoonful.com

Tonight is fright night, are you ready for all the Halloween fancy dress parties? My wife has got me dressing up as Pirate Jack Sparrow again; I heard that Johnny Depp based his portrayal of the pirate after Rolling Stone Keith Richards, so I guess that means I can get bombed and still be in character!

One thing I like to do for fun on Halloween and you can try this too, is before bobbing for apples at your local Halloween carnival or at a friend’s party, fill your mouth brimming full with ketchup. When underwater, discharge the goo, then frantically jerk your head up out of the water screaming, "Razor! Razor!"

In keeping with my tradition of telling scary stories for Halloween here are a couple of spooky tales, most of these are complete B.S. but you can put in a few names of people that you know and it makes them a little bit more realistic. To those that spook easily remember these are not real events that have happened…… Or are they? 

{Makes sound like crazed person laughing…. Muhhhuaahhah!}

MANS BEST FRIEND

A young lady is alone in her apartment in Queens. She goes to bed with her dog on the floor beside her. In the middle of the night, she is woken up by a strange sound. She is alarmed, but reaches down to the dog, which licks her hand. She is reassured and goes back to sleep. In the morning, she finds the dog hung in the shower. Where the dog slept, she picks up a note which reads
‘Humans can lick too,”

BLIND MANS BLUFF

In Berlin, after World War II, money was short, supplies were tight, and it seemed like everyone was hungry. At that time, people were telling the tale of a young woman who saw a blind man picking his way through a crowd. The two started to talk. The man asked her for a favor: could she deliver the letter to the address on the envelope? Well, it was on her way home, so she agreed. She started out to deliver the message, when she turned around to see if there was anything else the blind man needed. But she spotted him hurrying through the crowd without his smoked glasses or white cane. She went to the police, who raided the address on the envelope, where they found heaps of human flesh for sale. And what was in the envelope?

A note saying ‘This is the last one I am sending you today,”

Now that I’ve scared you a little lets get on with the cooking. These two recipes are easy to make and look great. You can give them out to the kids on the block who are trick or treating.

BRITTLE MERINGUE BONES

INGREDIENTS

3 large egg whites
1/4 tsp. cream of tartar
1/8 tsp. salt
2/3 cup white sugar
1/2 tsp. vanilla

METHOD

Preheat oven to 200F. Line cookie sheet with brown paper bag or parchment. In a medium sized bowl at high speed, beat egg whites, cream of tartar and salt till fluffy. Gradually beat in sugar. Add vanilla. Place in pastry bag fitted with a medium plain piping tip. Pipe 3" bone shapes onto parchment or brown paper bag. Bake 1 hour until set. Turn off oven, dry in oven 1 hour. Be sure to store in airtight containers or they will become soggy. Makes 4 to 5 dozen small finger-sized bones.

CARROT ‘FINGERS’

I need to do something healthy for the children before they stuff themselves with all that candy!

Ingredients

Your favorite vegetable dip
4 long carrots
1 medium carrot
2 Tbsp. softened cream cheese
5 sliced-almonds
5 baby carrots

Method

To prepare them, just fill a serving bowl with your favorite vegetable dip. Wash and peel 4 long carrots for fingers and 1 medium carrot for a thumb.

With a paring knife (a parent's job), cut a flat, shallow notch in the tip of each carrot. Then use a dab of dip or softened cream cheese to glue a sliced-almond fingernail atop each notch.

Stick the fingers in the dip, as shown, and serve with plenty of peeled baby carrots for dipping.

AND FINALLY…….

TOP TEN REASONS WHY TRICK OR TREATING IS BETTER THAN SEX

10) You are guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.
9) If you get tired, you can wait 10 minutes and go at it again.
8) The uglier you look; the easier it is to get some.
7) You don't have to compliment the person who gives you some.
6) Its O.K. when the person you're with fantasizes you're someone else, because you are.
5) Forty years from now you'll still enjoy candy.
4) If you don't like what you get, you can always go next door.
3) It doesn't matter if the kids hear you moaning and groaning.
2) Less guilt the morning after.
1) YOU CAN DO THE WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD

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