Originally published in May 2011.
Last month I was inspired to write to IrishCentral after Colleen’s Harte’s piece on “Ten things I now dislike about Irish men”. While it’s fair to say that for the most part we’re not all George Clooney-esque or anywhere near perfect, I thought it only fair that the Irish-American male’s voice be heard.
Although I’ve dated some great Irish ladies, who are feisty, fiery, smart and great fun this is not always the case. Irish women aren’t so perfect themselves and that’s why I’ll be giving them a wide berth on the dating scene. Frankly, recently, I find Irish women to be more trouble than they’re worth.
Here are my reasons why:
Fake tan
The smell of this stuff alone is enough to put you off any Irish woman for life. Their insistence to cover themselves in false tan in the hopes of turning themselves into a bronzed goddess, there really is no point ladies.
I have had to dump several sets of bed sheets after a strange orange Shroud of Turin like imprint was left behind. Give me pasty skin any day over an orange umpa lumpa from “Willy Wonka”.
Drinking
When someone told me that any Irish woman could drink me under the table, I brushed it off as an urban myth. Years later drinking beer and shots of whiskey with an Irish lady friend, I learnt the hard way.
Yes, yes it’s honorable you have a good tolerance for alcohol, but that does not give you the right to harass the barman at 3am for more shots. Less is more ladies.
Paranoid
I swear, if I’d heard the phrase “what’s that suppose to mean?” one more time! Irish women seem convinced that all men are speaking in hidden meanings and are in fact always having a go at them. This is not the case.
Irish women need to relax and learn to be less paranoid. There’s no better way to start a fight than digging at innocent comments. Let it go. Even if you’re trying to be nice it can still back fire due to their paranoia.
Cannot walk in their shoes
Too many women move to New York with aspirations of becoming a character from Sex and the City. The Irish especially seem to have an affinity for Carrie Bradshaw and her sky-scraper heels.
It’s a simple rule ladies, if you cannot walk in them, leave them at home. You may not be the tallest breed of women in the world, but I’d much rather see you arrive in sneakers, than have to haul ass home with you strewn over my shoulder.
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READ MORE:
An Irishman's guide to dating an American girl
Dating Irish girls - A guide for American lads
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Bossy
After dating an Irish women for a while you’ll suddenly notice that please and thank yous go out the window. Even the most pleasant things like organizing a barbecue for friends begins to feel like a military operation as orders are barked at you and you are expected to obey.
Too feisty
I think I have only ever been slapped by two women in my life, one was my Irish mother and the other was my Irish ex-girlfriend.
Irish women are extremely feisty and while of course this can be endearing, when she starts screaming insults at a driver who just took her spot in the car-park, all you can do is squirm and look away.
Talk too much
I’m not positive but I’m pretty sure that Irish women got more than their fair share of ‘the gift of the gab’. Irish women can literally ‘talk for Ireland’. It’s just as well someone invented Skype.
I women think nothing of an two-hour trans-Atlantic phone call but unfortunately it doesn’t end there. Irish women talk, and talk and talk unfortunately many of the women that I’ve met didn’t really have that much to say.
Not ladylike
What a turn off when the blue eyed, freckled Irish girl asks the barman for a big dirty pint when she looks like she walked off the set of “Sex and the City”. That little black dress and fake eyelashes should not be matched with a pint of beer.
If you choose to relocate to New York, at least try to feign sophistication.
Stuck up
Now this could just be me but over the last while I’ve noticed that when you’re talking to an Irish girl they immediately ask “What do you do?” It seems to me that Irish girls might put too much stock in the size of lads wallets rather than in their personalities (they will no doubt deny this emphatically).
A lot of Irish girls I have met seem to dream about moving to the U.S. and marrying a Wall Street banker.
Spend too much time shopping
On my life I’ve never met people more obsessed with shopping, store, bargains and labels than the Irish girls I’ve dated. They can waste entire weekends shopping and spend the rest of their week planning their next attack on the stores.
When they get off that plane they cannot seem to get to Macys or Jersey Gardens quick enough and the obsession doesn’t wane either. One girlfriend I had even got her mother to bring out clothes from a store in Ireland, as if there wasn’t a big enough choice here. Insanity.
It seems for Irish women, shopping is pastime.
So there you have it. Rest assured Irish women out there, that these are just my thoughts, although some of my buddies did agree with me on some of my opinions!
Oh and just one final pointer for the road, Irish women don’t take criticism very well and I imagine the response I will get to this article will prove my point!
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READ MORE:
An Irishman's guide to dating an American girl
Dating Irish girls - A guide for American lads
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31 Comments
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Switch to the desktop site to post a comment.padsta | Mar 29, 2013, 07:14 PM EDT
I have lived in Ireland for nearly 9 years, and i have to say the article in question does seem to hold some truths, i myself have been on the receiving end of vicious viper like tongue lashing from a young Irish lady who decided i wasn't good enough to speak to her friend, besides the fact i hold a very good job, am well mannered and look after myself, she took offence that a black and tan ( her words ) had the fkn cheek to talk to them, i smiled politely told her she needed to pull the rod out of her arse, i bid her friend goodnight and left, since that night i have since seen other poor men be left ashen faced by rude obnoxious Irish women who clearly seem to be suffering from delusions of grandeur. this kind of behavior is rife in all countries, but on my extensive travels thus far, Ireland holds the title for the most obnoxious self opinionated rude women i have seem or met........
anglo-norman | Nov 06, 2012, 01:01 PM EST
Irish women don't engage their brain before they talk. Constant chatter about nothing & when you try to get them to talk about anything but themselves they give you a blank look. Also the Irish back-biting thing would shock you with their hatred of other Irish women, in fairness Irish men are the same.
Bexi821 | Nov 05, 2012, 02:10 PM EST
I want to cuss you out right now, but I also laughed at a couple things. All I can say id that not every man can handle an Irish woman.
Mairin67 | Aug 15, 2012, 06:36 PM EDT
Agree with the fake tans and bossiness, however, I really dont' think the Irish woman means to be bossy. She definitly has to be assertive because getting an Irish man to move sometimes can be challenging. I suppose this overlaps most nationalities.
ancavker | Aug 14, 2012, 10:59 AM EDT
It is a generatioanl thing and also comes form watching too much British and American television. As far as feisty that will always be the case, and I have no problem with that. As far as the job issue I have no problem with that either.
Seanmor | Aug 13, 2012, 09:03 PM EDT
Sean Gibbons may not be aware of it, but many Irish immigrant girls in NYC in the 50s and 60s took great pride in their cultural heritage and perceived themselves to be higher in the pecking order that most, if not all, other immigrant groups, By the late 60s quite a few non-Irish were attending the City Center Ballroom. One night I asked an Irish girl for a dance there, but she hesitated and waited for her friend's reaction. Then I heard her friend whisper: "You can dance with him, he's Irish". Had I been of another nationality, she'd have refused me.
beodonne | Aug 13, 2012, 05:05 PM EDT
I am Irish born and living in the US. The article is 100% accurate!
eamon1958 | Aug 13, 2012, 05:00 PM EDT
A woman who can talk for all of Ireland. A woman with an opinion who can stick up for herself. A woman who can pull a pint with the best of em, and has no problem ordering Guinness. Two words for you, lad. Feckin. Gobshite.
SherLinton | Aug 13, 2012, 03:11 PM EDT
Well, after reading the comments, as an American of Irish parents, I'm not a drinker much at all, I don't like to shop-it makes me so tired, I am fiesty I'll have to say but keep that in check till I get the facts about a situation. I have smacked a boyfriend before on the arm for completely assinine comments or rude behavior - only once. He didn't seem to flinch at all. Asking what a fellow does for a living lets you know if, he even has a job - not having one would be a deal breaker. I try my best not to be bossy boss but sometimes the guy has no clue. Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus.
Kevin Longan | Aug 13, 2012, 02:12 PM EDT
Damn, stereotype much?! That and some poor editing made reading your article painful; as you said, you'll catch heat from this and deservedly so. You put your ass out there and now it's getting kicked..
JQuigley | Aug 13, 2012, 02:10 PM EDT
Dislike??? In fact I find these characteristics rather beguiling and maybe even entrancing. I'm an anglo-Irish guy from Central California who thinks the Irish lasses are a breath of fresh femenine fragrance that is sorly needed. I -------LIKE IT!
SusanMcCasland | Aug 13, 2012, 02:09 PM EDT
Irish women you say... well me boy-o... The traits you are talking about are generational, not national. The woman you are describing is a MODERN woman. And if you think American women can be pushovers... just try it... you will get a knuckle sandwich for your cheeky behavior.
Strongbow | Aug 13, 2012, 01:40 PM EDT
Unfortunately, this article has a lot of truth embedded in it.
CitizenWhy | Aug 13, 2012, 11:58 AM EDT
Of course it all depends. The Irish women (in Ireland or of Irsih parents in the US0 have all been sharp, witty, graciously well mannered but playfully rude when the situation needed some laughs, kind but don't push them to far since their insightful "comments" on you can be very knifelike, and kind. Yes, they are feisty and direct, just get them to laugh and they loosen up with the orders. That's the key. Of course they all had roots in the countryside (even those in Dublin or NYC) and came from families that still crowded around the piano to sing and laugh and cry. And most of them read books regularly.
norinalundy | Aug 13, 2012, 10:52 AM EDT
other than the fake tan - you should meet some of the Bensonhurst babes - I'm Italian, and I'm saying this!
mairint | Aug 12, 2012, 08:41 PM EDT
You have very bad taste in your choice of women and, you think they should just go to bed with you? You deserve dirty sheets! Pity you did not listen to your mother. There is more to life than pubs, drink and bed. If you involve yourself in more productive ways to spend your time you will meet much more reliable and genuine women. And anyway, what have you to offer a decent woman? Sounds like you are facing your 'use by' date.
SingleDonald | Aug 12, 2012, 04:14 PM EDT
slainte9, I say: "If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make an average woman your wife, so for my personal point of view, get an Irish girl to marry you!!" Jimmy Soul sang some song, didn't he? I just had to put my slant on it!!
POL O L | Aug 12, 2012, 03:33 PM EDT
Laugh out Laugh!Irish Women are The Best in the World FULLSTOP.Yes they may avail of some self promoting gimics but so what.It is called EQUALITY!Not that a lot of Far right American Republicans would like the Female population to be liberal!Such Facists.
Eamonnca1 | Aug 12, 2012, 12:56 PM EDT
I can't believe you omitted the layer upon layer of makeup.
slainte9 | Aug 12, 2012, 12:38 PM EDT
If you want to be happy for the rest of your life never make an Irish woman your wife so from my personal point of view get a Spanish or Italian woman to marry you. (They can cook, cha, cha, cha!)
Springfield9 | Aug 12, 2012, 12:35 PM EDT
Well, they may be a tiny bit willfull. Of course the "Pub Closed" physical assault is not unheard of. Yet, all in all, they are smarter and more loyal than many other women. Just never let them bunch up.
biggles008 | Aug 12, 2012, 12:26 PM EDT
Compared to 50 years ago, the modern Irish women, "Many Of Them" are from a different planet and nothing between the ears.
SingleDonald | Aug 12, 2012, 11:33 AM EDT
Irish girls are the elite!! I would deplore the traits Sean mentioned, but they are certainly not limited to Irish women! Also, my contacts have been American women of Irish descent. As an Italian American, I love them, and believe that the source of these ladies ancestry must be a paradise for the female gender! BTW, most Irishmen I speak to argue that Italian girls are the best! I guess we were made for each other!
bogsidebunny | Aug 12, 2012, 11:22 AM EDT
How's about the "tackey tats". Irish women of all ages love them all over their bodies. Swearing. Most Irish women would make a drunken sailor blush. Smoking. Another wonderful habit that numerous Irish women seem to relish. Foreign holidays. Can't afford to pay elec & phone bills nor the €100 house levy but there's always the faithful "Building Society" that shovel a few thousand quid out for 2-weeks in the Algarve or Canaries.
joan1954 | Aug 12, 2012, 11:04 AM EDT
Well, this has been an eye-opener but it has benn terribly funny as well. It is sad but I have seen girls like this and guys do fall for them get married and later divorced. Me, I prefer to be myself. My mom told me once that being the only girl with five brothers she had to fight for herself and she DID no how to fight her brothers. Some were gentlemen and others were rough and tumble but that being said they respected her and loved her. As she was dying of cancer it was the two eldest who came to see her to say good-by in their own way and the eldest took her passing the hardest. I guess this shows you can fight them but the family ties are still strong. That was my mom, tough, feisty, strong, loving but forever herself.
eiregirl | Aug 12, 2012, 09:45 AM EDT
Check, check, check....you seem to have nailed it, but only for a small number of Irish women. Maybe it's that you are attracted to fake tan and sky highs seeing as you bring these women home for a shag, given that you had to dump your sheet(s). Look in the mirror my friend, I think you really really like us the way we are :)
Portia777 | Aug 12, 2012, 09:35 AM EDT
Irish women need to relax and learn to be less paranoid.The paranoia is in our collective consciousness after years of being under the yoke of Roman church who groomed its males to keep total control over them strong willed Irish women.
Portia777 | Aug 12, 2012, 09:30 AM EDT
Seanmor Could it be that women of Irish birth have inferior DNA,? Sound like you know the way Irish patriarchy works where in Ireland judges etc are all taught to see all Irish women as feeble minded if they fail to obey their masters. if that is inferior, then I salute the women.Just remember the ancient warrior wombmen of Eire.
billie061 | Aug 11, 2012, 04:48 PM EDT
Seems Mr. Gibbons, goes to the wrong places (temple-bar ?) I who was reared along-side 8 brothers and a tomboy in my youth, can now behave with a mode of decorum, I can dress very elegant, don't drink pints, do not wish to be a model,no fake tan,false eyelashes etc. But stop, both sides of pond have met many loud-mouthed arrogant men, Ah well have 3 men, my Dad, my 2 grandsons, what more can I ask. I can go on trampolenes, play ball,fall in lake trying to catch g.s. no 2 (like I did yesterday). I can change plugs, fix my plumming, oh and build a wall (thanks Dad). And still appear stunning when need be. No wonder my Dad wishes he had 9 daughters. P.S. I only swear in private.
Seanmor | Aug 11, 2012, 03:37 PM EDT
Could it be that women of Irish birth have inferiorr DNA, compared to those who are U.S.-Born? At least one first cousin of mine (of Irish parentage) seems thoroughly convinced of that. One major difference I find betweeen my wife (whose ancestors settled in New England in the mid-1600s) and most Itish women is that she is very toleerant of teanga na Gaeilge and we exchange cúpla focal gach lá She also differs from the 'modern' politically correct women of Ireland in that she is pro-family and pro-life (and attends her Methodist church every Sundy).
Curitiba | Aug 11, 2012, 03:15 PM EDT
Trouble is ladies, it's a globalised dating market out there. In the old days, Irish ladies could be as rude as they liked to Irish guys, knowing they had to come back for more because they had no other choice. Now, chaps can just shrug their shoulders, walk away and can go for a whole world of nice women. The stigma of "mail order bride" has gone because many of these women are better educated and have better jobs than Irish women. So any Irish woman who thinks they can get away with giving the blokes a hard time will find that they will be elbowed out of the way by more competitive non-Irish women. They won't be able to denounce the competition as "mail order brides" any more because they will not only find themselves labelled as not up to the task, but racist as well.