Here is some of the best Irish slang, certain to confuse and guaranteed to amuse! Go on ya good thing, why not drop one of these phrases into your next board meeting to demonstrate your depth of Irish lingo.
I am as sick as a small hospital.
-I am feeling rather ill today.
I’m that hungry I could eat a cow between two bread vans.
I’m that hungry I could eat a scabby child.
-I am that hungry I could eat an entire cow sandwiched between two bread vans/ child with cuts.
He would get up on a cracked plate.
-That gentleman has very low standards in female company.
She is so ugly the tide wouldn’t take her out.
-The lady is aesthetically challenged.
He is an awful long string of misery
-That man is rather tall and skinny
He was as useful as a cigarette lighter on a motorbike.
-That gentleman is particularly useless.
You couldn't hit a cow's arse with a banjo.
-You have a terrible aim.
He was as tight as a ducks arse.
-He was very cheap with his money.
You could talk for Ireland.
-That person is very loquacious.
Grand soft day.
-The weather is dreadful today.
Sound as a pound!
-Sounds like a good plan.
We are sucking diesel now.
-Things are going well.
Do you fancy a few scoops?
-Would you be interested in an alcoholic beverage.
That lad is an awful chancer.
-He will try anything.
Christ on a bike.
-I don’t believe what’s before my eyes.
You will have a cup in your hand.
-Would you like a cup of tea?
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Read more:
A guide to how to understand Irish speak or slang
Lost in translation - Adjusting Irish lingo for New York ears
A guide to slang in Ireland - the top 32 from around the country
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15 Comments
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Switch to the desktop site to post a comment.julesdud1 | Jul 26, 2011, 12:29 AM EDT
"not worth a tinker's piss!" was an old one.. "look like a Liz Tish" meaning a cheap actress which was the equivelant of a whore! "it's teaming out there" - veritable downpour! raining like cats & dogs.
bogsidebunny | Jul 23, 2011, 06:12 AM EDT
You forgot: "I'm knackered". meaning very tired.
donal1951 | Jul 18, 2011, 09:59 AM EDT
My father had a favorite one: An Irish woman went to Dublin to visit the plastic surgeon. The surgeon told her, "Sure if I hit you in the face with a sledge hammer it would be an improvement." Mind you, the same joke could apply to some men, myself included.
LainieMcEl | Jul 11, 2011, 07:49 PM EDT
I had no idea there were so many slang words for drunk in Irish until I became friends with a Dubliner. Some I already knew, but didn't realize they had Irish origins. My aunt (McEldowney) had a few choice ones that always cracked me up when I was a kid, including "her face twud sour milk" and many others. My uncles were a little too colorful for young ears, and she always shushed him, but we heard enuff to know what he was saying!!!!
AWard04 | Jul 11, 2011, 10:20 AM EDT
Funny phrases I've heard: *(male perspective)"I'm so horny that the crack of dawn looks good!" (self explanatory) * "Colder'n a witch's tit in a brass bra doing push ups on the shady side of an iceberg" (similarly self-explanatory) * (Heard throughout my childhood) "Have the sense God gave geese!" * "I've looked all over hell's half acre" * "Useless as tits on a boar" Colorful expressions are an art form if executed properly. I usually feel that my day has been used well if I have made someone laugh.
Towngate | Jul 08, 2011, 07:55 AM EDT
Funny,Molly, - but not really 'slang' terms - Allow me: "She's a face 'twud sour milk!" (She's very ugly)" / " Yer suckin' Diesel now' really means: 'now you finally understand / now you get the idea/ at last, the penny's dropped!/ you've grasped the concept! / "He'd get up on a cracked plate"- means he is so horny and highly charged sexually that anything even slightly resembling a female reproductive organ would be acceptable to him. The Female equivalent is " She's such a hoo-wer, (whore) she'd get up on a stiff breeze!"/ "Sound as a Pound" also means a person or object is safe and trustworthy. / "It's a grand soft day" ( La bog ishea e - Pron: Laaw bug ish-a eh. - 'It's a (nice) soft day.' A nice warm misty day'. / "Couldn't hit a Cows arse with a Banjo" means the person is totally useless. / similar to " he's about as useful as the popes bollocks!" / / / I hope you don't mind the bit of 'tweaking' Molly but Irish humour must be taken more seriously! - after all if it wasn't for the Irish, the world would have very little to laugh about! Slainte!
oaklongan | Jul 07, 2011, 06:45 PM EDT
My Irish-American mother said you're dead if you don't have a sense of humor. Also, look to see if the person's EYES are smiling (not just the mouth).
oldboreen | Jul 07, 2011, 05:25 PM EDT
'Sure his arms are short and his pockets deep' (A man mean with money, or a man who ducks his round at the bar)
oldboreen | Jul 07, 2011, 05:20 PM EDT
'He's a long drink of water' (a man with nothing to recommend him)
KittyMurphy | Jul 07, 2011, 01:31 PM EDT
If you can't laugh at yourself...well you're screwed. I'm Irish and I've heard of loads of them. Lighten up for goodness sake.
butlerreport | Jul 07, 2011, 11:31 AM EDT
No wonder the world laughs at us. What the Irish regard as cute, the world regards as immaturity.
cillowen | Jul 07, 2011, 10:47 AM EDT
stupidity like none other
TiocfaidhArmani | Jul 07, 2011, 08:40 AM EDT
I'm from Dublin and I've heard a good few of them and used them myself.
JamesDempsey | Jul 07, 2011, 07:54 AM EDT
Have to say that Im Irish and I have never heard some of these ones before (thats not to say they are not Irish because they do sound very Irish) He'd get up on a cracked plate........... lolocaust
JamesDempsey | Jul 07, 2011, 07:52 AM EDT
CORRECTION A grand soft day means that there is a very fine or gentle mist not that the weather is terrible