The best and worst Irish jokes for St. Patrick's Day

I can see tomorrows headline in IrishCentral.com... "Outrage as website tells offensive Irish jokes!" ;)

Paddy is visiting relatives in NYC and heading into a famous Irish bar for his favourite drink when he’s accosted by a nun “with a mission” outside the pub. “Surely you are not going to spend your hard-earned money on the evil brew!! Why don’t you go home with your cash and spend it on your family or on charity?!” Paddy splutters “Bejasus sorry Sister how can you be so condemning of a wee drink, especially as you’ve not taken any yourself!?” The nun looks at him and says slowly “Oh-kay. Just to prove a point, why don’t you go buy me a large Irish whiskey and bring it out to me? And since I’m a nun, better you bring it out in a cup, just to hide it”. Paddy goes in, asks the barman for a large whiskey and says “by the way, can you put in a cup please?” The barman says “My Gawd! Don’t tell me that nun is outside again!”

Siobhán is taking her driving test and is asked by the examiner “What does a single yellow line alongside a kerb signify?” To which she replies “No parking atall”. “Very good” says the examiner. “Now tell me what double yellow lines signify?” “Oh that means no parking atall atall” Siobhain quickly replies. The examiner is impressed and slyly pushes harder. “What do triple yellow lines signify?” Siobhan blinks her eyes and thinks for moment and says “I never saw three yellow lines but if you’ve seen three yellow lines - that means you were pissed”.