The Irish Homecoming - Pining for her old life and friends in New York but won’t be coming back anytime soon

After nine years in the Big Apple it’s hard to not look over our shoulders

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April, John, Colum and Sadie last weekend before attending a family wedding.

Photo by Handout

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People have been asking me since our return to Ireland last May if we miss New York. My answer has always been “no but we miss our friends terrible,” and it was the truth, up until now that is. It finally hit me; that homesick feeling (if you can call it homesick for a land we only ever lived in for nine short years) about a week ago and if I’m being brutally honest it hasn’t gone away. It’s like a knot in my stomach or a mild belly ache.

I’m not saying I don’t like Ireland anymore, quite the opposite, I love Ireland more and more everyday if you can believe that and at the same time I really miss New York. And there is no question in my mind we made the right decision to move back to Ireland when we did. We are tremendously happy here so why is it I get a little sad when I see an episode of Law and Order or hear Frank Sinatra’s infamous song “New York, New York”?

I will always miss our friends; that’s something we just have to live with on a regular basis - the sadness of not knowing when we can see them again - but this past week I’ve been missing New York City, Yonkers, and America in general a lot.

Why has this happened all of a sudden?

It could be something to do with the low after the high of Christmas, or the winter blues (it’s cold, damp, dark early and it doesn’t get bright till 8.00 a.m.) or it could be the fact that in the next few weeks friends and relations of ours are traveling to New York for mini vacations.

Maybe it’s really a feeling of jealousy that has overcome me. They will get to walk down the streets of Manhattan, the very same streets that I carved my own little life out of not so long ago. They will go to Woodbury Commons and Jersey Gardens to shop, malls I frequented on many occasions to get the latest bargains. They will also eat in some of the restaurants my husband John and I dined in so many times and if they’re lucky they will experience a real snowfall, something I miss so much.

January and February are quiet time for everyone here in Ireland and I’m sure it’s pretty much the same in New York. There isn’t much happening outside of our regular lives with the kids and work. People are broke after Christmas, the weather isn’t appropriate for outdoor activities and there is an overall feeling of despair in the air.

I guess this feeling of longing for the Big Apple was about to come at some point. Since our arrival back to Ireland we have been on the go non-stop. John and I both began working the first few weeks of moving home. Colum (our 2-year-old son) and Sadie (our-11-month-old daughter) began daycare at the same time and it’s been a busy few months.

I like being busy and maybe it’s the slowness of the new year that has me in my head. I work as an Irish Sign Language Interpreter and January is slow in my business. The downtime has me thinking and feeling a little whacky I guess.

I suppose it’s like a break-up. A break-up you initiated and for the first few months you don’t miss the person but suddenly out of nowhere you begin thinking about the person, reminiscing about all the good times you had together and wonder if you should make contact with them again.

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