I have been following Gaelic Girls and I have one major observation. American female tourists who visit Ireland are impervious to the charm of the modern Irishman.
We can't break their emotional barrier. We find they that are driven by self advancement not romance. There is no way to seduce them, impress them, or make them fall in love with you. They are control freaks. It's not in their blood to be chosen, they choose. They don't live romance, but consume it.
We have the Europeans figured out. Simple application of the tricks of the love trade and the balance of power is yours.
Take Italian women for example. Their armor has many weaknesses. Tell them how beautiful they are, mention how harrowing you found Dante's "Inferno" (even if you haven't read it), and pretend you grow tomatoes out your back garden. Their eyes will widen and within half an hour they'll be silently mouthing "bello".
The French need to be told that they're nothing to be jealous of. If demoiselle Aurélie from Paris replies to your advance with: "I'm sorry, I can't accept your drink, I have a boyfriend ("Desolee, j'ai un copain"). Simply retort with: "I'm not jealous". Within moments, her boyfriend forgotten, Aurélie will be buying you a drink and trying to convince you that her garcon is worthy of the darkest of jealousies.
If you say you're good at assembling machinery, drive a German car (Volkswagon, Mercedes) and admit that Techno music is your secret guilty pleasure a Fraulein from Berlin will not resist.
However, girls from the States are the final frontier for the modern Irishmen, they're still to be conquered.
The following is typical of an American girls' night out.
It's Friday night/early Saturday morning. It's almost closing time. Three well-oiled American women sit strategically along the shorter side of an L shaped bar. Remy, Jessica and Kylie are there for all the patrons to see, their voices loud, pitch high and language colourful.
None of them have bought a drink all night, for they've been on the booze train since nine o'clock that evening. The booze train is an Irish locomotive that only good looking females get a ticket for. No fare necessary. Men's wallets are the tracks upon which this train trods.
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They prey on eager Paddys. Luring them with hair swishes and sweet north American scents. The Irish males are their mere service stations: buying drinks and telling jokes. The best he usually gets is a patronising "Gosh, I love your accent" or a "you're so cute". The balance of power is invariably with them.
They will eventually leave the L shaped bar before making one of two choices. To go back to their hotel alone, or choose someone to have fun with for the night. It's cold and calculated. In their wake is only ever a wistful drunkard alone and penniless on a bar stool or a bleary eyed used vessel of a man, kicked from a hotel room at 6am into a cold Irish morning.
What I've learned from these 'Merican tourists is that their motives are like those of a Black Widow spider, they self gratify and satisfy and then they kill off any romantic hopes of their Irish suitor. True man eaters.
So here's some advice. They say they enjoy drinking games, but they don't. They're playing along and enjoying the Mojitos on offer. When they smile they are are actually grinning; they'd fit right in to a Bram Stoker novel.
Ward off and keep clear, rub yourself with garlic, use a crucifix if you have to.
*Vincent Thornton is a radio producer and writer in Ireland.
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Read More:
Irish dating - Why American women are wild about Irish guys_________________
39 Comments
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Switch to the desktop site to post a comment.STEVENSTAR | Apr 14, 2012, 12:19 PM EDT
THE HEADING SHOULD BE AMERICAN WOMEN NOT IRISH AMERICAN. AS WE IRISH ARE NOTHING LIKE AMERICANS EVEN THOSE WHO AMERICANS WHO TRY TO STEAL OUR IDENTITY.. AMERICANS AND IRISH PEOPLE ARE POLES APART IN HUMOR, LOOKS, CULTURE, OUTLOOK ON LIFE AND JUST ABOUT EVEYRTHING ELSE.. IM IRISH I LIVE IN IRELAND AND I WAS BORN IN IRELAND SO I SHOULD KNOW..
SingleDonald | Oct 25, 2011, 11:14 PM EDT
mikeircentComnt, I was referring mainly to singles clubs. When 2 girls are sitting in a booth, I know it is inappropriate for two guys to approach them, and ask each to dance. However, if those same ladies leave their booth, and stand at the bar, or along the perimeter of the dance floor, then it is okay to ask them to dance. They still might decline, but, in those instances, they can not consider the guys rude for asking.
mikeIrcentComnt | Oct 25, 2011, 12:36 AM EDT
SingleDonald. My point was not that they are actually "sluts". It's that the politics of girls in a group (an insight at best) is that they will not respond favorably if you approach one specifically while in a group, at a table, or even the L-shape of a bar, where the peer pressure overcomes the "beer" pressure. Too many side issues you don't know about yet among girlfriends kill the gambit. Compare if you were to feast your eyes on such a damsel on the way back from the can,in the corner, or at the local coffee shop, library, shopping mall, etc. It's strategy not politics. Jacqueline and Jocelyne, and abbym for that matter, below have the right take on this issue.
SingleDonald | Oct 24, 2011, 08:14 PM EDT
I believe that women go to bars/singles clubs in groups, but are each looking to meet guys. I recall my dad asking me, while I was in college, whether girls came to this local place, P.J.'s, unescorted. I said, "yes", not understanding what the big deal was. I later learned that, during Dad's time, (World War II), it was very unusual for female patrons to enter a bar, unescorted. I don't think we will ever return to those puritanical days, thank heavens! Women should be able to come into a singles club, or a bar, with no negative connotations being applied to them. If in a group, the "slut tag" is hardly on their minds, as they are all likely looking to meet guys!!
mikeIrcentComnt | Oct 24, 2011, 02:48 PM EDT
Column is right. That's how American women, including Irish Am. women, respond to men in a bar, but it's universal, not specific to Irish women or men on either side. Same here in New York. Here's the deal. American women do not hang out in bars and if they ever do it is in a protective group. You can't pick someone up from a group like that when her girlfriends are watching because that makes her a slut in front of them. You might get her phone number, though. Alone in a bar, usually they are hookers. If not, it is divorce day and you got lucky, or she wants to get even with that dog for cheating on her. Also, boozing is pretty much looked down on in the U.S., as a sign of weakness, even by Irish Americans. (Though, one or two glasses of champagne works very well, particularly at some kind of non-bar event, i.e., a wedding, funeral, post-sports, skydiving event, business meeting, etc.)Final observation: American women expect you to spend a LOT more money on them than do European women, Canadian women or almost any others. That includes those whom you would not describe as attractive. You really have to order the single malt scotch, finest vodka, etc. and treat them like princesses before they will shed their underthings.
abbym7180 | Oct 21, 2011, 03:19 PM EDT
We're not all that bad...
Pittsburghkid | Oct 20, 2011, 09:17 PM EDT
Feminism has ruined American Woman. American Women will not marry a bum (someone who makes less then them). This said, you can pick them up in a bar for a one night stand. This is a defensives mechinism for the American Woman, because if the go for a period of time without a man, then they might fall for a bum. This is why American Woman go on Cruises. What happens on a Cruise stays on the Cruise. After they get their jollies off, then they can go hunting a suitable mate. Problem is American Men know this.
joycean | Oct 20, 2011, 12:47 PM EDT
Jacquelyn is right: Americans and Irish have different views on bars. Most Americans do not socialize in bars. Even when they go to a restaurant that has a bar, most of the customers are there to eat, not drink, and the bar is usually just a decorative feature.Americans also are not there to meet new people. They go with their friends and family and usually do not speak to strangers.Very few Americans would not be very suspicious of anyone they met at a bar.
Jacquelyn | Oct 20, 2011, 10:23 AM EDT
sorry.. correction .. different social connotation than they do in Ireland**
Jacquelyn | Oct 20, 2011, 10:22 AM EDT
As an American I think that your first problem was going to a bar to pick up chicks in the first place...in America bars have a different social connotation than they do in the states. There are plenty of kind and loving female partners in the States but they 90% of the time are NOT in bars. Women who go to bars in the States usually find men who are drunkards and unreliable partners who just want a one-night stand.. therefore, that's what they expect at any other bar. Do you see? You put yourself in a situation where, to a American girl, she doesn't think she can expect anything more of you than that. That's why as an American woman I stay away from bars...because the people there are rude, crude, trashy folks who act like they're barely human...unless it's a high-class establishment for other purposes. Maybe American women are a little more calculating, but it's only because the men here require us to be.. they use you and lose you a lot of times and American women are tired of that...or if that's just the kind of relationship they want, they go to a bar!!
padyofurniture | Oct 20, 2011, 07:17 AM EDT
I have a theory about american women. The older they get, the easier they are to pick up. Sort of like dog crap.
Padraig | Oct 20, 2011, 06:20 AM EDT
sadly, this is true for any american girl under 25. 26 and up, they grew up and realized a few things. Vincent- this is why the divorce rate is so high in american, like 60-70 percent, because the young ones are cold and calculating man eaters. However, it's not even true for 26 and up!! try again with the right age.
FrPeteOFeely | Oct 20, 2011, 03:13 AM EDT
Women are TMW, lads. Too Much Work. Take a tip from me and spend your evenings with a good book, a reclining chair, and a cup of tea.
KMcSinger | Oct 20, 2011, 12:42 AM EDT
Wah whiney wah! Poor Irish man can't get laid by American girls. Boo hoo!
mstillarose | Oct 19, 2011, 06:24 PM EDT
I find this amusing especially since I see alot of myself in this. However, I was in my partying 20's at the time. Now not so much. So maybe it depends on the age of the american woman. Still this was entertaining!
KelleyM | Oct 19, 2011, 06:19 PM EDT
How about this: Gingies are gross.
cmthornton | Oct 19, 2011, 05:21 PM EDT
Hummm... What kind of American woman have you been hangin with? You should've been hangin with me & my crew, we would've been buying you pints.
billie061 | Oct 19, 2011, 05:09 PM EDT
I have 4 Americian sis-in-laws and thank god they sorted out my wimps of bros who were ruined by their Irish Mammy.
SingleDonald | Oct 19, 2011, 05:01 PM EDT
As a never married guy, I can offer some basic suggestions, for men & women: Men-Be cool, and respectful! Too many attractive girls have heard too many lines, so the fewer you recite, the better. Aim on getting that 1st date, and nothing else. After all, there is nothing dishonorable in going out to lunch, dinner, or a movie. Now I will break tradition, and suggest we let HER move towards any intimacy. After all, far fewer guys would object to what many girls would-a premature request for intimacy. If, however, you feel that you both need time to get better acquainted, by all means let her know, in a kind way. Women-Be open minded, and don't brush off a guy if he isn't in a high income bracket. Realize that a polite request for a date is not "sexual harassment", or any "threat". If you just can not accept a guy on a dating basis, be polite, don't put him down. Finally, don't offer to be his "friend"! This is akin to being a surrogate sister, and he likes you too much for that!!
Murph46 | Oct 19, 2011, 03:45 PM EDT
I found Irish Lads who do quite well at Grab A Granny!
seagreen | Oct 19, 2011, 02:52 PM EDT
It is about time this issue has finally been addressed,it has gone unnoticed far too long !
jimmybb | Oct 19, 2011, 02:04 PM EDT
speak for yourself writer i finf american girls the easiest of the lot to pick up an thats not a slur on any other group just finf american girls easy peasy japaneasy
ancavker | Oct 19, 2011, 01:24 PM EDT
First of all when were Irish men known for romance?
Royalosiod | Oct 19, 2011, 12:15 PM EDT
I think Vincent's overview is prejudicial, his observations limited to only the American women who have rejected him personally. It is a pity that his prudishness evolves from a bigoted attitude formulated from his few encounters with women in his travels. Vincent is no James Bond from what I can tell. If he were, women of all sorts would be fainting at the sight of him.
Hannah1879 | Oct 19, 2011, 11:58 AM EDT
I think American women love Irish men...they are charming, funny and different from some American men that are just boring, judgemental, materialistic. Kudos to any American women who can appreciate the Irish men and their charm.
christilcaugh | Oct 19, 2011, 11:48 AM EDT
I agree with the sentiments of some of the writers here - the American women that I know, including me would rather have romance and caring! When I was in Ireland in April I found the Irish men I met were grand and cannot say enough about the gentleness of spirit I found in them. To bad many of the American men I know don't have that gift!!
Springfield9 | Oct 19, 2011, 11:34 AM EDT
American women are so wonderful that an entire industry has sprung up to eliminate them. I can marry a Russian, Ukrainian, Chinese ...... even Scandinavian girls! The worshipers of Gloria Steinem and Germaine Greer (and their fallout) should know they can be replaced for the price of a plane ticket.
Blackthorn62 | Oct 19, 2011, 11:20 AM EDT
That was amusing. Not all American women are users like that. As to gullible Irish men who fall for the few who are as described, the last line is good advice. :-)
Renee750il | Oct 19, 2011, 10:46 AM EDT
Don't feel singled out. American women, for the most part, treat men of any nationality that way. Most (not all, but a sad majority) are looking for material security, some without even realizing it. That's how we're raised and what we're taught here by media and society in general, and we're used to men here being geared to want women who are geared that way. It seems to work for most . . . oh, wait . . . look at our divorce statistics. At any rate, trust me, you'd be sorry if you found yourselves stuck with most of us. Personally, I'm bored with the typical American male and the typical sterile, grasping American idea of relationships. So, lads, take the tumble and be glad you're out the door at 6 a.m., safe from the grip of the Dearg-Du.
ILM1148 | Oct 19, 2011, 10:26 AM EDT
Sorry that you find American women aren't door mats to be walked all over. They are sounding a bit lthe way the men behave, in any country. They can be romanced and do appreciate a man who is genuine. But no, they wont be easily won.
joanxis | Oct 19, 2011, 10:17 AM EDT
2 points your descriptions of these women are very stereotypical - not a good sign for ajounalist Ouch! You must have been burned quite badly or quite often. From an American girl
mikehoulihan | Oct 19, 2011, 09:52 AM EDT
Great column Vincent! Finally a writer at Irish Central who speaks my language.
CitizenWhy | Oct 19, 2011, 09:51 AM EDT
Interesting tongue in cheek commentary aimed at revealing the cold predatory phony nature of the Irish bar fly by by describing the same qualities in certain Irish American women.
bullwall | Oct 19, 2011, 09:48 AM EDT
Well done, Vincent. I'm from Canada and we knew this for ages. Good observations. Stick with the Irish girls.
mcdolan | Oct 19, 2011, 09:46 AM EDT
Very harsh indeed! Then again, American women are no pushovers (as you intimate European women are), and buying rounds is only done with close friends who want another drink. The Irish have this thing about lining them up when no one wants any more. I've never seen such waste of money or drink as I have here.
tashac2 | Oct 19, 2011, 09:44 AM EDT
I think this is one man's biased opinion. I LOVE Irishmen (I'm speaking of the over 40 age bracket), their wit, charm and down to earth attitude is a refreshing change from American blowhards. You are speaking of young women in this article. They are still trying to figure themselves out. As women in America age, they appreciate a "REAL" man...and I find Irishmen to be real men. I'm speaking of bred and born..raised in Ireland. Irish American men can't hold a stick to a true Paddy.
iceire57 | Oct 19, 2011, 09:41 AM EDT
Where the bloody hell are ye getting ye info Vincent ?...just because a few yankie women do wot ye are accusing of does not we are all that way,I have plenty of fun doing drinking games and calling us black widows is ludicris,try coming across the pond and venture into our pubs and say the same thing because ye wont be able to,ye story here makes us Irish Americans look bad and I dont appreciate that,póg my arse American na héireann!!!!
MalcomAC | Oct 19, 2011, 09:32 AM EDT
Sexist crap written by an insecure wimp. THIS is why I rarely read IC any more.
IronMountainMovies | Oct 19, 2011, 09:24 AM EDT
You've been watching too much 'Sex and the City' bullshit Vincent. Don't know what age you are but you ought to grow up a little, then maybe the grown up girls might take an interest in you.