A new book ‘Dead Funny’ traces the funniest gravestone epitaphs in Ireland. The Irish have long been known for their love of the macabre and humor, even in death.
Here are my top ten entries. Written by Allen Foster. the book can be purchased on Amazon.
1. From Northern Ireland:
“Erected to the memory of JOHN PHILLIPS, accidentally shot as a mark of affection by his brother.
2. Belturbet County Cavan:
Here lies John Highey, whose mother and father were drowned in their passage from America. Had they both lived they would be buried here.”
3. Belfast City Cemetery:
DUFFY: In loving memory of beloved Gerald, husband father, Died 30th November 1989 aged 65 years: I told you’s I was sick.
4. Larne County Antrim:
At the grave of a man hanged for sheep stealing:
Here lies the body of Thomas Kemp, lived by wool died by hemp.
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5. Belfast:
Beneath this stone lies Katherine my wife
In death my comfort, and my plague through life
Oh liberty! but soft I must not boast
She’s haunt me else , by jingo ,with her ghost
6. Dublin:
Here lies the remains of John Hall, grocer. The world is not worth a fig. I have good raisins for saying so.
7. Youghal, County Cork:
Here lies poor but honest Cecil Pratt. He was a most expert angler until death, envious of his merit threw out his line and hooked him.
8. Waterford:
Here lies the body of Anthony Reynolds, who although a miller was an honest man.”
9. County Clare:
This stone was raised to Sarah Ford, not Sarah’s virtues to record - for they’re well known to all the town. No Lord; it was raised to keep her down.”
10. Mallow, County Cork:
Here lies the body of Edmund Spenser, great great grandson of the poet Spenser, unfortunate from his cradle to his grave.”
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Switch to the desktop site to post a comment.Frosty38 | Jun 15, 2013, 06:41 AM EDT
Sad but to funny
puulgerard | Nov 21, 2011, 08:33 PM EST
if your reading this headstone ,,i died before ya...comments please ..its dead funny..
JerryLynch | Nov 21, 2011, 01:08 PM EST
The Los Angeles, CA tombstone of the self-deprecating comedian, Rodney Dangerfield, reads, "There goes the neighborhood."
dcdief557 | Nov 19, 2011, 10:44 PM EST
oaklongan & stanjames - typical anti-Catholic ignorant bigots...
mickymantle7 | Nov 19, 2011, 05:53 PM EST
Here lies the bones of Mary Jones Her life held no terrors Born a virgin, died a virgin No runs, no hits,no errors
Brolaur | Nov 19, 2011, 03:21 PM EST
Cast a cold eye on life, on death! Horseman, pass by.
GeorgeDillon | Nov 19, 2011, 11:29 AM EST
SeamusMor: You have that WC Fields quote wrong.
AengusOg | Nov 18, 2011, 10:42 AM EST
From the Auld Wesht: Here lies Lester Moore, Four slugs from a 44, No less no more. This stone was raised by Sarah's lord, Not Sarah's virtues to record, For they're well known to all in town, But it was raised to keep Sarah down. Here lieth the body of Martha Dias, Always busy and not very pious, Who lived to the age of tree score ten, And gave to worms what she refused to men.
smoothjockey | Nov 18, 2011, 07:03 AM EST
Here lies the body of Mary Knox Who gave a hundred men the pox Here she lies, she's not forgotten Her heart waS good but her c###t was rotten...
Ernesider | Nov 18, 2011, 01:10 AM EST
This one was removed from near our place but it was witnessed by many ... "Under these stones lies Mary O'Conner. They are not the first stones that were laid upon her."
SeamusMor | Nov 18, 2011, 01:05 AM EST
"All things considered, I'd rather be here than in Philadelphia." W. C. Fields' tombstone
oaklongan | Nov 18, 2011, 12:06 AM EST
'tho I'm no poet...these Irish gravestone epitaphs ring True to me. Would say same of these on my own immediate kin...I'm Irish in my Blood and Bones, for sure.
oaklongan | Nov 18, 2011, 12:03 AM EST
stanJames...Interesting Truth about Hitler and Vatican...NO rest for the Wicked.
LilPaddy | Nov 17, 2011, 08:54 PM EST
There she lies dead and forgotten... Her arase is red and her crack is rotten (could have been written for my ex...
biggles008 | Nov 17, 2011, 12:04 PM EST
Under These Stones Lies Mary Jones And Sure It Is No Wonder. Because These Are Not The Only Stones That Mary Jones Lid Under.
Willipotts | Nov 17, 2011, 11:29 AM EST
My favorite found in a rural grave yard near Middletown, Ohio Remember me as you pass by As you are now so once was I As I am now soon you will be Remember death, come follow me.
Murph46 | Nov 17, 2011, 10:51 AM EST
I like the one from Tombstone Arizona: Here lies Les Moore Four shots from a .44 No Less,No More
muirisobric | Nov 17, 2011, 10:46 AM EST
Under these stones lies Mary Horan. And sure 'tis no wonder. For when Mary was alive. Many stones she laid under.
capers2 | Nov 17, 2011, 10:31 AM EST
pretty good but I like the one in the mid-west of America that states; " Here lies the body of Sam McKay who died maintaining his right of way, He was right, dead right as he sped along, but now he's as dead as if he had been wrong.
carrickcourt | Nov 17, 2011, 09:42 AM EST
Enjoyed the Irish gravestone epitaphs. Being a Irish-American genealogy nut I of course had to note if any folks mentioned on gravestones were perhaps related and none were. Irish gravestones drive me nuts as they often do not have much information which might help with family history research. While Irish headstones often have great epitaphs they often lack year of birth and year of death of person on the gravestone. I noted this on a new gravestone for my late second cousins once removed Davey and George. While this stone praised the lads as a grand uncle and a wonderful father and grandfather there was no dates of birth or death for the lads on this stone. Also Davey's name was recorded as David when he was born Samuel David. There is a new site online now for Irish graves and grave yards entitled historicgraves.ie by the way