Here's a list that can make St. Patrick's Day fun without ever darkening the doorstep of your local.
1. Curl up at home and rent 'The Quiet Man.'
Simply the best Irish movie for St. Patrick's Day ever made. By the end you'll be ready to move to Connemara yourself.
2. Cook bacon (or as it known stateside, corned beef) and cabbage for you and your beloved.
When they came off the ships, bacon and cabbage was the staple diet of the shanty Irish. Tasted good then and as good now.
3. Get down with the kids and play Irish video games together here.
4. Watch some Irish television from Ireland at RTE.ie/player.
Catch up on what is happening in the Emerald Isle.
5. Read 'How the Irish Saved Civilization' by Thomas Cahill.
This will fill you in on the real St. Patrick and the incredible job he did converting the Irish back in the fifth century.
6. Try to Learn Gaelic, the tongue of your forbears for centuries.
By leaving after St. Patrick's Day you will save money.
8. Watching the local St. Patrick's Parade on television or in person, and bring the family along.
9. Researching your family name.
Here's a good place to start - The top 300 Irish family names explained
10. Watch 'Jersey Shore' reruns.
Just be glad Snookie, the Situation etc, are not Irish.