What should I do about my boyfriend's
porn addiction?

Dear MTN,

I really need your help. I've been dating a guy for about a year now and things seem to be going great. I only have one concern and I think I should share it with you for your advice.


Brian, not his real name, looks at porn. A lot! I found out only last week when he left his computer on while he was showering. I admit, I was nosy and I looked at his screen. I was shocked at the pictures of couples having sex. I looked even further into his recent activity and saw multiple porn sites. 


Truthfully, it made me sick...I don't know whether or not to bring this subject matter up to him or not. 

If I tell him how disgusting the pictures made me feel, then he will know I looked and I don't know how he will react.

Please help me since I do value your opinion. My entire family loves your column. 


Thank you. 

- Marlene

Dear Marlene,

It's hard to give exact advice since I didn't see the content or the quantity of the porn. However, in general, guys like porn. As long as the photos weren't anything violent or disturbing, it probably is just his outlet for relieving stress. Your sex life has a lot to do with my answer as well. As long as you both have a healthy sex life, I do not think you need to worry.

I do suggest you bring up the subject of porn with him and talk about each other's desires. A healthy relationship is based upon the trust and acceptance of each other's fantasies. As long as you are comfortable with his fantasies, then there is no problem. If his fantasies are too much for you to handle or you do not feel comfortable in indulging in them, then you have a problem with your relationship. After dating a year, now is the time to find out as much as possible about him before you invest any more time in this relationship.

Good luck to you.

Thank you for enjoying my column.

 - MTN

Maureen Tara Nelson is proud to be called The Irish American Matchmaker. "We specialize in attractive, quality singles who are ready for a committed relationship." "We do ALL the work!" "Being Irish is also a plus."
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