Telling a stand up guy from a well practiced player looking for one thing


Is he the real deal or just playing me?
Is he the real deal or just playing me?

Dear MTN,

I need your advice. Recently I met a guy and we seemed to hit it off. Our first date lasted for three hours and he said all the right things. I was very happy that he even said that he is looking for a serious relationship, since I am done with one night stands and am also looking for a serious relationship. He said he wanted to see me again and called me the next day.

The problem is that he invited me to come over his house to watch a movie for the second date. I think an invitation to his house on the second date could mean he is a player only looking for one thing. Why would he do that when he made a point of saying he's ready for a serious relationship? How long are you supposed to wait before you accept an invitation to go to a guy’s house? Do you think he is just looking to hook up? Or do you think I am over reacting? 

Thanks for your help. 
- Jillian

Dear Jillian,

I agree with your instincts that it is too soon to have a date to go to his house. How much do you even know about him? The time is right to go to his house when you do know a lot about him and know and feel that you can trust him.

Most importantly is that you realize that just because a guy says he is looking for a serious relationship doesn't mean he is. Typically that is the first thing that a "player" will say when he wants to have a girl feel at ease with him so she will move faster in the "getting to know" period.

The only way you can tell if a guy is a player or is looking for a serious relationship is to give it time and see how things work out. Take things slow so that you can both get to know each other. A player won't wait that long for a girl to have sex. A guy looking for a serious relationship will! Good luck with this guy. I hope he turns out to be a good one.

Please keep me posted.
  - MTN

Maureen Tara Nelson is proud to be called The Irish American Matchmaker. "We specialize in attractive, quality singles who are ready for a committed relationship." "We do ALL the work!" "Being Irish is also a plus."


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