Posted by wolfhound at 5/24/2009 1:23 PM EDT
Bill, Warren and all your very, very rich friends:
Wolfie is DELIGHTED to learn from his pal Niall O'Dowd that the real reason all you rich folks met in secret was to discuss how you could give away all your money!
I KNEW it was something like that! And I want you to know that I NEVER believed all that conspiracy nonsense I read on sites like www.rense.com, www.lucianne.com, www.infowars.com, www.conspiracyarchive.com, www.nypost.com and maybe a million others that I only occasionally read and/or subscribe to that suggested there was some skullduggery and evil behind the idea of all the richest people in the universe getting together in secret.
Now, to the business at hand!
The Wolfhound stands ready to assist you true noblemen (and you too, Oprah) in the distribution of wealth you propose, and is mindful of the fact that you guys (and you too, Oprah) don't want to draw laser beams of attention to yourselves as you move around these billions of dollars.
It seems to me that the BEST way of starting this massive philanthropic effort is to find a conduit (this is NOT money-laundering!) for all these funds, so that when it arrives at orphanages, soup kitchens, "residences" for the criminally insane and of course, the Archdiocese of Dublin LLC, that it will not be traceable to any of you gentlemen (and you too, Oprah) and all your support can be received cloaked in the generous anonymity you desire.
For the benefit of the poor and misbegotten, you may begin making deposits (either by installment or the much, much, much-better lump sum method) to this virtually unknown foundation:
The Wolfhound Legitimate Poor-Helpers Fund
c/o Cayman Islands Legitimate Bank
Legitimate Account WH9598
Cayman Islands, NY 10001
(Ask for "Anthony")
In total support of charity like all of you fine men (and you too, Oprah), I remain,
Your loyal and legitimate servant,
Jackie Kennedy’s granddaughter has uncannily similar looks