Ireland needs a new name

I was reading John Spain's column (here) and it occurred to me that really, we should change our name. Ireland should change its name. We should go into the nearest court and legally change the name of the country.

We should change the name of the country for so long as we're not an independent nation, but one that is in hock to the EU and IMF (mostly the EU). The so-called 'bailout' fund of €85bn ($117bn) that Ireland received from the EU/IMF back in November is no gift. It's a loan. One that has to be paid back. With interest. At a punitive interest rate.

The bailout is intended to ensure that the Irish people pay all the debts stupidly/recklessly incurred by Irish banks, who borrowed the money from stupid and reckless German banks. Yes, we are debt slaves who are being whipped into line by our EU masters in order to save the European banks. We are slaves or vassals as one Irish member said in the European Parliament recently.

So we should change our name to reflect our new status and, maybe only vaguely, to decouple the name Ireland from the mess our leaders got us into.

There is precedence for this. Back in the 1990s recording star Prince changed his name to an unpronounceable symbol {Photo} as the first step to his "ultimate goal of emancipation from the chains that bind me to Warner Brothers" when he was in dispute with the record company over control over his music and money.

Unlike Prince, who changed his name in an effort to emphasize that he was not the record company's slave, I think Ireland should change its name to do just the opposite: to ensure everyone knows we are slaves. Vassals of the EU.

So we should change our name to emphasize our new position as vassals, but to what?

I'm particularly drawn to EU-85. We owe €85bn after all. Or, now that Mr. Johnson of the Cincinnati Bengals is no longer using it, how about EU-Ochocinco? It's got a modern, hip sound, possibly too cool for a nation of vassals, but it also has that multi-lingual, EU feel that our slave masters are so keen on. And it beautifully sums up who we are today.

I can already see it at the airport: 100,000 welcomes to EU-Ochocinco.


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