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How to break up - knowing when it's time to quit or try to mend a relationship

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Dear MTN,

     I know you are a Matchmaker and try to get people together, but my question is a little complicated.  I wish to break up with the man I am dating, and need your help.  Do you also give advice on how to break up with someone?

     I have been dating Warren for almost a year now.  He’s in his sixties and just recently came out of a long term relationship. At first he was everything I was looking for.  He is handsome, successful, owns his own business, is family oriented and pays for all of our dates.  I was extremely happy for the first six months.  I only started to get suspicious when I asked to meet his family and for him to meet my family.  I think six months of dating is a proper time limit to go by.  Once I said this, things changed.  Now he is distant, I have to make all the calls, he breaks dates, and says he’s not ready to meet my family and vice versa.  I’ve had it with him, and for the past five months I’ve tried to break up with him numerous times since I know this relationship is going nowhere.   

Help me dump him!  

Thanks, Margaret

Dear Margaret,

You are right that it is my job to keep couples together and help single people meet one another.  I am not in the business of breaking someone up.  But you have a question and a problem, and that is what I am here for.

If you have been trying to break up with him numerous times, and he keeps coming back, I would assume that it’s because he cares a great deal about you.  Maybe instead of trying to “dump him” try a more positive approach.  Go out with him and have a heart to heart talk about everything you told me.  It probably is that he’s so used to being single that he doesn’t know how to properly treat you the way you need.  It might only take for you to tell him what you need.  If he does it, great!  If he can’t do it, then just tell him it is truly over and to respect your wishes.  Good luck and enjoy your summer. - MTN

For more information on Maureen Tara Nelson’s Matchmaking program, please check out her website at mtnmatchmaking.com.  Call 516-444-2861 to schedule a free consultation in either their Long Island or Manhattan locations.  Mention this column and receive a summer discount. Maureen Tara Nelson has been successfully Matchmaking for over 12 years with over 1000 success stories.

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