Help me to open up in my new relationship -- I want to show him I love him

How do I show I love him?
Dear MTN,

I need some help opening up. I have always been what I consider a private person, especially when it comes to my feelings, so much so that it has caused problems in my past relationships. 

I am in what I consider a fairly new relationship. It has been six months and my boyfriend has told me he loves me. The problem is not that I do not feel the same way but that I have a hard time saying it. And an even bigger problem is that I am noticeably uncomfortable saying it and that makes my boyfriend wonder if I am sincere.

I feel that what he refuses to understand is that we had very different upbringings and outward displays of emotion were not common in my family. It also frustrates me that he says it so often as a way to test me even though he knows it makes me uncomfortable.

I feel that he should just know that I love him because if I did not I would not be with him. Is there a way to become more comfortable with things of this nature?

And if there is not, is there a way to talk with my boyfriend in a way that will not hurt him?

I do not want to lose him but If he keeps pushing it on me I fear I could become resentful. 


- Casey

Dear Casey,

I can understand how your upbringing can make it difficult for you to open up to your boyfriend, but in this case I think if you do love him you need to realize that he cannot read your mind. You are not giving him enough of a chance in this relationship. You need to have a "heart to heart" with him and explain to him exactly what you have told me.

I am sure if he knows your feelings and understands how you deal with them, it will be easier for him to be able to communicate with you. Both of you need to learn how to communicate with each other. As long as you can do that, you should be able to deal with any situation that comes up.

Best of luck to you.
Thank you for writing.
 - MTN


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