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Fighting over the same girl but who's in the right?

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"The dating world sucks!"

Dear MTN,

I can't believe I am writing to you so you need to change my name. Call me Bob. My friend; call him Tom. We both like the same girl, call her Mary. So Mary and I finally started dating about six weeks ago. Things have been great.

Last night I went out with all the guys and Tom comes up to me and says he's had a beef with me for stealing Mary from him. I had no idea what he was talking about. He said he was dating Mary all of last year and just kept it quiet so the whole group didn't find out and gossip. He said they had one fight, the next day she broke it off with him, and the next night he hears from me that I had asked her out. I asked him why didn't he say anything then? He responded that he thought I was just a quick rebound and that he'd get her back. I told him that wasn't cool on his part. He says I'm not being cool on my part.

We are both 25 and have been friends together our whole lives. I don't want to lose our friendship. But I have to say that Mary just might be the one for me. But now that I know they were dating first, it kind of changes things for me. What do you think I should do? Also, do you get 25 year guys in your matchmaking program? Because if I do lose Mary I might need to join. The dating world sucks. 

Thanks,

 - MTN

Dear Bob,

You did nothing wrong. When you asked out Mary, she did not tell you about Tom. When Tom first found out from you that you had asked her out that was his opportunity to say that he was dating her and if he was going to try to get her back. He didn't! Therefore, you have no responsibility on their breakup and you are not being "not cool on your part."

Don't worry about your friend. If he's a true friend, and he sounds like he is, then he should be happy for you if things work out with Mary. I would however, have a small talk with Mary and tell her you know that she went out with Tom and see that she doesn't have feelings for him anymore. If she doesn't, just enjoy the relationship.

Good forbid if it doesn't work out, but yes I begin my matchmaking program at 20 years old for girls, and 21 for guys. I have lots of beautiful girls in your age group from all over New York and Long Island. If you do call, mention that you wrote to me.

Thanks and good luck to you.

- MTN

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