How can I get my guy to put a ring on it!

Dear MTN,

I need your help. I've been dating my boyfriend for over ten years and we are great together. I've been told by all my friends that they can tell how compatible we are to each-other. The sex is great, the relationship is great, and we live together. The problem is that he says he has a commitment phobia and will never marry me.

I am okay with not ever having children, but I do want to be married. At the last high school reunion all my friends were married already. My next reunion is coming up and I don't want to deal with all the questions from my friends of why aren't we married yet? I don't want anyone to know he is a commitment phob.

Is there anything I can do to change a commitment phobic guy into marrying me? Please Help! - anonymous.
Dear anonymous,

No! You cannot change a commitment phobic person. You can only find out what exactly they are afraid of and prove to them, if possible that whatever they are afraid of will not happen. If you are both happy after ten years of dating and living together, I do think it's possible to reassure him your relationship is solid enough to endure the test of time of "marriage."

However, just realize if you are going to have this conversation with him, know that he isn't going to just change his mind because you have a reunion coming up and don't want to admit to your friends that you aren't married yet. He will say that to you and he is right.

My advice is that if you are really wanting to get married at this point in your life with this guy, make sure it is for the right reasons; not because of what other people think.

Best of luck to you and keep me posted. - MTN


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