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An open letter to Sinead O’Connor, put the pen down

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Sinead O’Connor (left) and Miley Cyrus. Source: o.canada.com
Sinead O’Connor (left) and Miley Cyrus. Source: o.canada.com
Dear Sinead: 

Did you ever hear of that American Southern phrase “bless her heart?” Translated into English, it actually means, “Her intentions were good, but lawdy, she’s a hot mess.”

I said it aloud when I read of your initial “open letter” to Miley Cyrus last week, right before it set off a digital volley between the two of you that got picked up by just about every media outlet in the world.

You’re about my age and like me, you have kids either around Miley’s age or at an age where they worshipped her during her Hannah Montana phase.

Like me, you recoiled in horror watching how the poor, misguided gal squandered her talent with a bizarre fetishist dance number on the MTV Video Music Awards.

True story — I happened to be in adjoining hotel rooms with my girls and parents, and when my mother witnessed Miley’s twerking she put a hand over my youngest daughter’s eyes and made her say a Hail Mary for the poor girl’s soul.  If that ain’t rock and roll, I don’t know what is!

“I am extremely concerned for you that those around you have led you to believe, or encouraged you in your own belief, that it is in any way ‘cool’ to be naked and licking sledgehammers in your videos,” you wrote in your open letter.

“It is in fact the case that you will obscure your talent by allowing yourself to be pimped, whether it’s the music business or yourself doing the pimping.”

Bless your heart.

Good on yeh for telling the girleen to keep her head higher in the shark tank known as the music business, but Miley didn’t take kindly to you insinuating that she prostituted herself.

Of course, we both know that horse is not only out of the barn, it broke all four legs limping over to the glue factory.

Miley responded by posting a screen shot of some old tweets you posted on your feed a while back, claiming to be off your meds and in need of a new psychiatrist.

Ouch! Not very polite, but she has a point.

Taking advice from you about staying sane in the music business is like asking Octomom about birth control.

Still, she didn’t have to hit you below the belt. You threatened legal action, ensuring the story would have legs for days to come.

I can’t help thinking this was just one of your mad publicity stunts gone horribly right —you’re about to embark on your first tour in a good while next month at City Winery locations in New York and Chicago that you ironically named “American Kindness.”

#GENIUS! What better to show your mad love for the US of A than to bludgeon our favorite skanked-out Disney pop tart in the media!

I hate to be the “cold-bucket-of-water-to-the-face-called-the-truth,” but you’re not serving yourself or anyone from our generation by these open letters.

Face it — Miley out-tweeted you. Her antics on MTV landed her on the front cover of Rolling Stone and made her the logical choice to host Saturday Night Live over the weekend, two cultural milestones for a musician of any age.

You and I both know that the lame, processed Pro-tool fodder she calls music on her new album didn’t get her these milestones. Maybe SHE is the pimp of the music business brothel after all? Hmm.

Time to put the pen down and pick up a guitar Sinead! Start practicing for the City Winery gigs next month!

Fans like myself who have been following you for over a quarter century will be there to listen to the voice and melodies that made us fall in love with you in the first place.

Nothing Compares 2 U Still,

Mike

(Sinead O’Connor will play New York’s City Winery November 6, 8 and 9)

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