Narrowback’s Corner - Dealing with childhood bullies

Narrowback's Corner,

Irish Voice Columnist

Published Friday, October 15, 2010, 9:27 AM

Updated Friday, October 15, 2010, 9:32 AM

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The age old issue of dealing with childhood bullies

I would be dragged, against my will, to the “husky” section of the store. In this section hung a putrid, measly selection of checkered Toughskin pants that made me wonder if Sears was joining in the chorus of fat kids’ mockery by designing unflattering patterns that accentuated my corpulent rump. The Toughskin material was only slightly smoother than burlap because, well, it had to be.

“Sure, your father and I are not made of money, you know,” my mom replied when I asked her why I had to wear the Toughskins. “These pants have to last until Easter, and then we’ll be back. God knows what size ye’ll be by then.”

I grew up to be pleasantly plump and I love to eat. I drove by my old central Jersey neighborhood this week, stopped at my favorite sub shop and was greeted at the counter by Danny, the bully who pushed my brother down all those years ago.

He had a mangy beard, ripped jeans and a leather biker’s vest over a Harley t-shirt that told me all I needed to know about how he was unable to break the tangle of our town’s blue collar roots.

There wasn’t an ounce of Catholic compassion in me as I told him in painstaking detail how thin I wanted the Swiss cheese cut for my sandwich. I threw a dollar into the tip jar in the counter, but the encounter was priceless.

Am I immature?

Uh-huh.

Do old bully wounds still fester, 33 years later?

Yup.

Does the daughter have a lot more grace than the dad in these circumstances?

Well, I suppose I can’t slice that reality thin enough to make it easier to swallow.

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haikued2 | Dec 17, 2010, 11:18 AM EST

When my oldest son was about 5 there was a bully across the street who bullied him regularly. When I found out, I simply told my conservative, kind of shy son "go out there and punch him right in the nose" and showed him how to throw a straight right hand. He was reluctant, but went out and dropped the kid with a straight right, just like I taught him. NO MORE BULLYING...they got along fine after that. In my life I had learned the bullies thrive on getting away with their actions. No consequences for bad behavior. By the way, my son is still nice, somewhat shy and conservative. Never had to do that again, but could if needed.

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paricaliswishes | Nov 07, 2010, 05:50 PM EST

All kids take their turn at pushing and shoving each other the problems these days are that the normal perimeters are pushed much further out by what children see on tv.I saw kick boxing moves by very small children.Kids copy what they see and these days adults are fearful in a way they never were before of how to tackle it.Ireland has suffered an onslought of psychologists telling us how to bring up our children .

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Lorcan31 | Oct 15, 2010, 11:09 AM EDT

I was timid and quiet as a child growing up in dublin and i was easy pickins for the local bullies in school and the play grounds , the bastards had a field day with me , that was until my older brother brought me to his boxing gym st saviors to teach me how to throw my fists , nobody has ever bullied me since . Parents need to wake up and have more interaction with their kids and teach them that bullying other kids is wrong .

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