As we welcome in 2010 most of us will be reviewing our new year's resolutions - well here are the new year's resolutions I won't be keeping!

1. Don't get annoyed at phony Irish accents from politicians, movie stars, TV hosts around St. Patrick's day.

2. Smile when the next Irish politician pretends he REALLY cares about the Irish undocumented.

3. Pretend I'm impressed when the next phony claim of how X organization - there are so many now - say they played a "hugely important role" in the  Irish peace process. Mostly they were hiding under the desk.

4. Take it seriously when the president  once more announces that March is to be Irish Heritage Month.Wow.

5. Act interested  when the next Ulster unionist politician talks about the Scots Irish, millions of whom are only dying to come to Northern Ireland. Most, alas, have never heard of the place.

6. Not get annoyed when the next Irish person launches into a "holier than thou" tirade about American foreign policy.

7. Pretend the St. Patrick's Day Parade committee represent anything other than an era and an attitude long dead in Ireland.

8. Take seriously efforts to defend the bishops involved in the pedophile priest sex scandals.

9.Show understanding of  the 'Know Nothngs' who try to portray undocumented Irish as aliens and criminals.

10. Laugh at the same old badly told Irish jokes around St. Patrick's Day  as if I never heard them before.