Snooki might be forced to wear her signature pouf at half mast this week, when word reaches her of soon-to-be cardinal Dolan's fiery sermon on sexual morality at St. Patrick's Cathedral in New York on Sunday.
Skipping over the plight of the poor and the oppressed in favor of a vigorous hot topic, Archbishop Dolan delivered a stark reminder to his congregation to resist popular culture’s message that sex outside of marriage is okay. It is not okay, Dolan clarified. Sex, if it doesn't happen between two married people for the strict purposes of procreation, is always immoral and unfulfilling he said.
'The one who, with God’s grace and mercy, tries his or her best to be pure and chaste is often thought of not as a hero, not a saint, but as a freak in our culture today,' Dolan told the congregation at St. Patrick's, in a report that ran in the New York Daily News.
'The biblical teaching on sexual responsibility is countercultural,' he argued, suggesting that conservative values about sexuality have become the true progressive ones now. 'Anyone who tries his or her best to live it can expect a lot of temptation and even ridicule and criticism,' Dolan said.
It is just the kind of hardline sermon that critics say has resulted in Dolan's invitation to be installed as a cardinal at a February 18 ceremony in Rome.
'I’m going to preach about sex,' Dolan announced theatrically at the start of his sermon on Sunday, adding 'Now I’ve got your attention.'
It's also the kind of attention grabbing sermon that Dolan's critics frequently lambaste. Archbishop Dolan, they say, spends too much time thinking about other people's plumbing and far too little time thinking about the challenges ordinary people face in the current economic climate.
'The church has at times in the past, sadly, come across as as some naysaying, puritanical nag, always giving a big ‘No, no, no’ to one of life’s greatest joys,' Dolan added, before telling his congregation to say no to one of life's greatest joys.
'Modern society,' he continued, 'often reduces sex to animal rutting or its most popular contact sport.'
Although he didn't mention any offenders by name, it was hard not to imagine he was contemplating the enthusiastic coupling that is often seen in reality shows like Jersey Shore.
'Truth be told, it is chastity and purity that liberates us, while immorality enslaves us,' Dolan added.
Snooki, take note.