36 Comments

• adrienrain | May 20, 2010, 05:45 PM EDT

  The Mafia has strong family values, too. As parents, we must teach compassion, as well as assertiveness. The problem is that, apparently, there isn't much real compassion in our society. We are happy to demonize whole classes of people, including poor people, foreigners, non-beautiful people, and so on. Adults do this. And it rubs off on their kids, who act out in ways adults wouldn't dare to do. But the whole thing might have been stopped if the teachers hadn't looked the other way - passive aggressive participation. It is the one element that must be present for bullies to be successful. I'd be interested in knowing more about the involved families' class and financial status vis a vis Phoebe's family. Might be a clue.

• EveryDayDad | Apr 04, 2010, 02:22 AM EDT

  IN MY STATE, ALL JMIDDLE AND HIGH SCHOOLS HAVE A COP ON CAMPUS ALL DAY TO DETER AND ARREST REAL VIOLENCE. (THEY HAVE THEIR OWN OFFICE AND ARE WEAPONED AND UNIFORMED). FIGHTS AND TEASING CONTINUE JUST LIKE IT WAS IN THE 60'S AND 70'S WHEN I WAS K-12. THIS WORLD, THE ADULTS WHO RUN IT, THE WEB AND MEDIA ARE BROADCASTING "JUSTIFIABLE" VIOLENCE EVERYWHERE. LETS NOT "JUSTIFY" SUICIDE UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE. WE NEED OUR KIDS TO LIVE. OBVIOUSLY, NONE OF THE KIDS COMMITTED A "REAL CRIME" PRIOR TO PHOEBE TAKING HER LIFE OR THEY WOULD HAVE BEEN ARRESTED. I PROMISE THE STAFF AT HADLEY/ANY SCHOOL WOULD HAVE MADE SURE OF THIS (OBVIOUS BY THE DA'S DECISION NOT TO PERSUE CRIMINAL CHARGES AGAINST THE STAFF). NOW ALL OF A SUDDEN EVERYONE WANTS TO CONVICT THESE SUPPOSED "BULLY'S" FOR PHOEBE TAKING HER OWN LIFE. WRONG MESSAGE PEOPLE. IM HAPPY THESE UNFORTUNATES WILL GO TO COURT BUT HARDLY SEE A CONVICTION FORTHCOMING AND IF IT DOES, ALL THE BETTER. AS A PARENT, ITS OUR JOB FIRST AND FOREMOST TO PROTECT OUR KIDS. BE IN THEIR DAILY LIFES. VISIT THEIR SCHOOLS, SIT THROUGH A DAY OF SCHOOL. ITS YOUR RIGHT. IF YOU SEE YOUR KID DEPRESSED TALK WITH THEM. SEEK HELP. MAKE CHANGES IF NECESSARY. LETS NOT LOSE ANOTHER KID OR JUSTIFY SUICIDE WHICH IS THE MESSAGE ALL OF THIS IS GIVING. YOU OWE IT TO YOUR KIDS. WE WORK TO HARD TO RAISE THEM TO SET THEM FREE IN THIS WORLD OF HATE AND VIOLENCE.

• EveryDayDad | Apr 04, 2010, 02:04 AM EDT

  IN RESPONSE TO MICHEAL COLLINS - When it comes to protecting/HELPING my kids IN EXTEME CONDITIONS, AS A PARENT I AM IT. PERIOD. IF I HAVE TO SIT IN SCHOOL WITH MY KIDS, I DO IT. I POLLED MY KIDS OUT OF PUBLIC SCHOOL LAST YEAR BECAUSE THEY JOINED A MOTOCROSS RACE TEAM. NOT FOR DISCPLINE, NOT BECAUSE THE SCHOOL HAD PROBLEMS. THEY ARE BACK IN PUBLIC SCHOOL AND YES ITS A HARSH ENVIRONMENT BUT LOOK AT THE WORL WE ADULTS HAVE CREATED. MURDER AND CORRUPTION EVERYWHERE. VIOLENCE AND SEX ON TV EVERYWHERE - EVAN THE CARTOONS! I LIVE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE COUNTRY I NEVER HEARD OF PHOEBE BEFORE. EVERY SUICIDE IS A MAJOR TRAGEDY. WHAT SUICIDE DOESNT HAVE CONTRIBUTING FACTORS? WHAT IM HEARING FROM MOST HERE IS DELIVERING A DANGEROUS MESSAGE TO KIDS EVERYWHERE, "THAT SUICIDE IS JUSTIFIABLE UNDER SOME CONDITIONS." I REFUSE TO ACCEPT AND WILL ARGUE THAT TO THE END WITH MY OWN KIDS. LETS KEEP IT REAL AND KEEP OUR KIDS ALIVE PEOPLE. DONT JUSTIFY SUICIDE IN ANY WAY. SEEK HELP, CHANGE THEIR ENVIRONMENTS. WE WILL JUST LOSE MORE KIDS TO SUICIDE. KNOW YOUR KIDS ENVIRONMENT (GO TO SCHOOL ONCE IN A WHILE - ITS YOUR RIGHT) IF ITS NOT HEALTHY FOR THEM. LIFE IS NOT A JOHN MAYER SONG, QUIT "WAITING ON THE WORLD TO CHANGE." IT'S GETTING WORSE. ITS AMAZING HOW A BULLY'S ATTITUDE CHANGES WHEN THEY SEE A PARENT WITH THEIR CHILD AT SCHOOL. TRY IT ONCE AND SEE. AN OUNCE OF PREVENTION IS WORTH A POUND OF CURE. I DO HOPE THESE BULLYS GET IN TROUBLE AND DELIVER A STRONG MESSAGE THAT BULLYING IS NOT ACCEPTABLE. WE THE ADULTS HAVE CREATED A CRUEL WORLD WITH SENSLESS KILLING AND WARS. WATCH TV, NOTHING BUT SEX AND VIOLENCE - EVEN THE CARTOONS. PARENTS NEED TO HAVE LESS FEAR AND LESS FAITH AND NOT BE AFRAID TO TAKE ACTION AND GET INVOLVED. GO TO SCHOOL WITH YOUR KID ONCE IN A WHILE. LET THE BULLYS KNOW YOUR KIDS HAS A SOLID LOVING PARENT BEHIND THEM. I JUST HOPE MY KIDS EVER TAKE THEIR LIFE UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE. SUICIDE IS A PERMANENT SOLUTION TO A TEMPORARY PROBLEM.

• nancy01984 | Apr 03, 2010, 12:56 PM EDT

  FOR CHANON: Are you for real? You say that your daughter was suspended from school and grounded by you because of her mistreatment of Phoebe. Then you say she is not guilty of any mistreatment of Phoebe. Which is it? Clearly your precious terrorist was a ringleader of this group. Did you take away her computer and cell phone? Did yu refuse to give them back to her? Obviusly not. If my child had ever been accused of such a thing, I would be too ashamed to leave the house, let alone go national trying to defend her. YOU, madam, are going to have to pay to have this little mutant defended in criminal court and then YOU will have to pay another attorney to defend YOU in a civil suit! There will never be justice for Phoebe or the Prince Family, not until God makes his decision when these mutants finally die. They should live ever afraid of HIS justice! FOR EVERYDAYDAD: YOU are ashamed to be Irish? Well, we are ashamed to have to claim YOU! I would like to see every Irish-American Club in this country get together and demand justice for Phoebe by advocating that the bullies be tried under Hate-Crime Laws! Blaming Phoebe for killing herself is like blaming a plane passenger for dying in a plane crash; I mean, after all, she COULD have picked a different flight! SHAME ON YOU! Kayla Narey (Levreault), Flannery Mullins, Sean Mulveyhill, Sharon Chanon Valaszquez, Austin Renaud, Ashley Longe, and others are TERRORISTS; they AND their parents should be placed on the Terrorist Watch List! If you need proof that there is true evil in the world, just look at these abusers and their parents and friends. Those kids should have been strangled at birth. By the way, Kayla is still posting on Facebook, is complaining that she might have to change her name--again, and is a supporter of the I Support Dan Smith (the principal) fan club! Wow! She sure has learned her lesson!!!

• msheffield | Apr 03, 2010, 03:44 AM EDT

  Every parent wants to think that their son or daughter is an angel but most aren't. I wasn't bullied in school but my heart goes out to Phoebe's family because they still have to see the people who hurt their daughter so much, she killed herself.

• dvsean4 | Apr 02, 2010, 11:45 PM EDT

  you havent learned of america yet... its not racist when the victim is white

• michealcollins | Apr 02, 2010, 10:59 PM EDT

  In response to Everydaydad, if the administration and teachers had have been doing their jobs, this would have been avoided. To turn this around and blame the mother is beyond comprehension. Are you a friend of one of the accused? Furthermore, bullying doesn't mean physical force being applied. Verbal abuse is as bad as being physically abused. "These kids accused should be let off"? Where is the logic in that? So they are not to be held responsible? Talk about lecturing on bad choices. You have made several here. Im ashamed to be Irish?????? Sorry I don't follow the logic here either. By the way having been born and raised in Belfast before immigrating, I've had some experience with bullies and their words hurt just as much as their fists, boots and rifle butts

• meowmix | Apr 02, 2010, 09:04 PM EDT

  EveryDayDad, you are correct, school is not for babysitting purpose and yes in fact it is for LEARNING. Therefore, what do you say to the individuals that used the "learning" environment as thier play ground? What exactly were these individuals "learning", how to be a tyrant, how to be Adolf Hitler, Vlad the Impaler or even Nero? Well, that's the road these individuals were going down and if not dealt with, they will just pusht he envelope the next time around, because I am sure she is not the first or the last individual they will "bully". You look at one set of parents in this matter, but what about the parents of the "bullies" what was there roles in all of this, what is there home life like that their children walk around taking out anger on other individuals, maybe a light needs to be shined on them because remember, abuse is a learned behavior, that's a fact. So, I wonder, what are they being taught by their parents. The two males are being charged with statutory rape and yes, I know this charge is sometimes use to trap young men for their stupidity. However, what examples are these males being shown, cause obviously something's going on there too. So, before you shine a light on one, please remember shine it on all, unless of course you are a parent of one of the accused or a friend.

• EveryDayDad | Apr 02, 2010, 07:10 PM EDT

  Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Phoebe's Mom was aware of the harassment and that it was growing. Why would you continue to take your child to such an environment. They had choices. They could have home-schooled, changed schools, the choices are limitless. God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change (other kids bullying), the power to change the things I can (home or other school) and the wisdom to know the difference (well, they missed this one all together and now it's too late). A sad sad tragedy. Phoebe made a bad choice that cost her her life. If Phoebe had more support and action-based involvement from her parents her death may have avoided. Teasing and getting teased or "Bullied" which to me involved physical force is a part of growing up just like losing a job, a wife or other significant loss. These kids accused should be let off. They will not forget that society is pointing the finger at them. This could lead to more suicides if it continues. Nothing's going to bring Phoebe back and she did kill herself alone. Bad choice Phoebe. If anything, I think her parents should be charged with child endangerment resulting in death for continuing to force Phoebe to go to that school. School is not a daycare people, its a learning environment. If your kids not in an environment they can learn in, change it, don't use public schools as your baby sitter so you can sit home on the couch or make what (money???). Alot of good that does her now. Rest in Peace Phoebe.

• dv727dv | Apr 02, 2010, 12:23 PM EDT

  How trendy--the vermin spawn of this bottom feeder has a hyphonated name. She must be a girl for the new millenium. 1. I could not care less if the rodent "broke down" when she learned she was indicted. Think piggie wondered if Phoebe's sister "broke down" after Sharon the Innocent Angel and her band of excrement "accomplished" their task?? How about when emergency crews CUT down her lifeless body?? Piggie here probably got more excited than when she did whatever with her star football guy. If she fainted after vomiting blood and urinating herself, I may be impressed. 2. The Loser Spawn of Satan had previously been suspended....OH, I ALMOST FORGOT...in a display of "Tough Love." Angeles the Almighty and All-Loving also GROUNDED her. Color me impressed beyond human comprehension!!! I wonder if Kayla, Flannery, and the rest of the feral ones hung with their BFF while "grounded." After all, to not allow that would have been .....inhuman (yeah, I know...they already were NOT human, but ...) I'm also sure Angeles the Strong-Valued Antibully and Antiracist (except for "Irish Sluts"....they don't count)thought it would have been downright ABUSIVE to take the reptile's cell phone, IPod, or computer. Angeles will soon be on the talk show circuit. Think it has an agent yet. TLC can have a new show--"Angeles and Satan Plus....." It'll rant about her Innocent Angel's legal fees, not to mention both womb provider (note I did NOT say "mother") and spawn will HAVE to have new clothes for all of those Court appearances. I hope Phoebe's family sues this pond scum into abject poverty. I hope Angeles is shunned EVERYWHERE it goes--right down to getting that nasty look at the 7-11 when buying a microwave snack. Lastly, I hope we here "Whatever Happened To..." about it 25 years from now and it's squatting in a cardboard box under a bridge and foraging dumpsters for near edible "food."

• OhCaroline | Apr 01, 2010, 11:49 AM EDT

  Absolutely, Battlefront. "...THAT GIRL...?" That's how THAT MOTHER refers to her daughter's victim?? Yeah, I can just imagine the kind of 'values' she instilled!

• CLoghry1938 | Apr 01, 2010, 08:45 AM EDT

  Doesn't this mother realise that abuse is not always physical? Mental abuse is sometimes far worse than physical. Do these Values she espouses include bilittiing others?

• maltfalcon | Apr 01, 2010, 12:31 AM EDT

  she is a slut . I hope they put her in prison for her life. her mom is a slut to if she raised a daughter like that . I hope they both burn in hell

• savvylady | Mar 31, 2010, 11:04 PM EDT

  Bravo sararas!!!

• sararas | Mar 31, 2010, 08:40 PM EDT

  Wow. What an unbelievably stupid bxtch. Not only is she naive about the monster she dropped from her legs, she's actually making excuses for it. Those "harmless" words OBVIOUSLY aren't really harmless, and that girl should be grounded. I'm not sure what "strong values" she thinks she instilled in her daughter, but they apparently don't include refraining from participation in criminal hen-pecking. It's not just an exchange of words if one person is outnumbered.

• battlefront | Mar 31, 2010, 05:54 PM EDT

  I think that the parent of Sharon should not support her in this bullying has to be the most harmful thing to happen to any boy/girl It is so sad that this young life has been taken away and her parents will never know what their could have been like as she grew to maturity because this was taken away from them by bullying. When Sharon's mother says "I guess we have to fight" Does that sentence not tell the whole story of that girl's upbrining. And when she refers to Pheobe as "that girl" I think that says a lot about mother and daughter. I feel such sympathy for Pheobe's parents and family. This has got to be the worst thing to happen to them

• WeneedtobFair | Mar 31, 2010, 04:43 PM EDT

  I agree with savvylady, shello39, KMcSinger that mom needs to get real and stop covering up for her kid when they are wrong for their actions because she is giving her a supporter for the next act of voilence she commits

• dessieglynn | Mar 31, 2010, 04:16 PM EDT

  Yes, I agree and PHOEBE isn't dead.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

• miminipps | Mar 31, 2010, 02:20 PM EDT

  I live in Arkansas, but no matter if your are Irish, from the north or from the south; teen death is the saddest thing in the world. These young people who bullied Phoebe are sad too. The mother who wrote that her child wasn't responsible should know that the Prince's child will NEVER be back to even look at or talk to again, EVER! We lost a teenage grandson 2 years ago in an accident. Mrs. Velazquez, we will never recover from this. The pain is everyday for our whole family. If you would like to see our boy, we have started an annual 5k in his memory, www.kellysbasskickin5k.org. I hope the people of your town will do something to memorial Phoebe. She deserves this much, and so do her parents. I read about her this morning, and the story has really saddened me. All so unnecessary was her death.

• Starlet | Mar 31, 2010, 02:04 PM EDT

  The mother could be in denial or, Maybe her daughter is genuinely nice at home or when teachers are around? I remember people like those from my school days. I was bullied myself. There were all types. We don't know what that girl is like in the privacy of her own home under the supervision of her family/extended family. Sometimes parents really do try to teach their kids but other factors influence their children as outlined below. If she as claims grounded the daughter at the time of the altercation in addition to the school suspension then I don't think it is fair to call her behavior "denial." Obviously, she doesn't know that words can hurt more than sticks and stones. That may be sheer ignorance.

• shello39 | Mar 31, 2010, 12:55 PM EDT

  Wow. Pull your head out, mom. Your daughter doesn't have to physically hurt someone to be considered a bully.

• savvylady | Mar 31, 2010, 11:33 AM EDT

  Ms Chanon, your dismissive attitude in minimizing your child's responsibility in the harassment that ultimately lead to this tragedy is a testimony to your ignorance. Just because there was no "physical" assualt perpetrated by your little darling child on Phoebe does not lessen the culpability of your childs role in her death. The fact that you fail to acknowledge this makes me sick. Verbal and emotional abuse is just as harmful and damaging, possibly even more than physical abuse. Because you as the adult parent of this criminal, failed to recognize and stop her actions when you became aware of them upon her suspension, brings serious questions as to the competence of your parenting skills. I believe you and all the other parents of the students involved had a moral responsilbility to stop your children and educate them about bullying. In my eyes you as parents are all just as criminally reponsible for this child's death.

• KMcSinger | Mar 31, 2010, 11:10 AM EDT

  That Mom is in serious denial!

• Derrylass627 | Mar 31, 2010, 10:00 AM EDT

  Maybe Sharon Chanon did have strong family values - but not strong enough to outweigh the peer-pressure of the other mean girls who tortured Ms. Prince. Sharon probably knew that if she didn't join in she would be next on their hit-list. You are like the people you associate with. The mean girls will live to see another day - Phoebe, unfortunately will not.

• JJKelly123 | Mar 31, 2010, 09:27 AM EDT

  Clique,not click.

• dkwitcoski | Mar 31, 2010, 08:49 AM EDT

  Verbal abuse is just as bad as physical abuse; if not worse, because it's more easily camaflauged. Shame on all of these accused students for their actions against Phoebe. It takes some pretty contemptuous actions to push someone to that level of desparation to take your own life. Hopefully, the truth about these accused students will come out and justice will be served, as well it should.

• Rosebeautiful | Mar 31, 2010, 01:56 AM EDT

  Sometimes teenagers follow what others do to be part of a click, and because of that all who are involved need to face up to what they have done.

• sweetheart | Mar 30, 2010, 11:05 PM EDT

  The problems (where ever) stems from lack of values and the breakdown of families~~~ when parents will not stand up for values and truth the children follow~~ there is no excuse for being a bully~~those that bully should be prosecuted to the fullest~~~~that should apply to teachers they should not be involved with children~~~Phoebe was a beautiful young girl ~~the bullies were jealous~~~God be with Phoebe's parents and family as they will carry this loss forever.

• lourdes49 | Mar 30, 2010, 08:54 PM EDT

  Primbrkr I agree 100% with you. The biggest problem is that parents are incapable of seeing their children for who they are. Always finding and excuses, or the typical “it’s only a stage” It’s unbelievable how kids now days behave. Parents, DISIPLINE you children if you really love them, don’t let them get away without consequences to their actions, and PLEASE see them dor who they are.

• jerianneclancy | Mar 30, 2010, 07:26 PM EDT

  As a parent, I hope my child will act appropriately when out of my care but in reality that doesn't always happen. Ms Chanon may feel her values are visited on her child but peer pressure can make these kids forget what they are being taught at home. They want to fit in and to go against the pack can leave them on the receiving end.I can understand,as a mother,that she doesn't want to believe her daughter did these things but I believe the evidence will be hard to defend.These kids went to far and must be punished for their actions.

• Primbrkr | Mar 30, 2010, 05:05 PM EDT

  The reason these kids act like this is because their besotted parents have never looked at them objectively, have never said no and have never bothered to model appropriate behavior. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, they used to say. Regardless of what these kids are charged with, whatever punishment they receive will pale in comparison to the pain they inflicted on this poor girl and the suffering without end her family now has to endure. Shame on this school for doing nothing. Wonder why our athletes on celebrities think the rules that govern behavior don't apply to them? It starts with the parents and the school officials who subscribe to the idea that being a football player or a cheerleader or pretty or popular gives you the right to shi* on everyone else. No wonder these kids act this way! It won't make it worth it but perhaps in serving their deserved punishment these nine will learn something and maybe some other kid's life will be spared.

• motherof42010 | Mar 30, 2010, 02:46 PM EDT

  I came to tears when this story first aired, on of my children is 12yrs old and i can't keep up with all that he does out of my care, i only know what he tell me, but i can say that he uses my cell phone often to send text messages and he talks online with friends and i have taught him the wrongs of being a bully and the consequences of this.I go to the school and talk with other parents, also very close with his teachers.This girls mother making excuses for her daughter is not going to help her in the long run, regardless of what she wants to believe she has to show her daughter tough love, don't say she was doing nothing obvisouly she was and it led to the death of a beautiful young girl. what she is doing is only teacher her daughter that it's ok what she done and it not her fault. how wrong you are!!! get a clue, people like you are why these things are happening!!!

• MJC1959 | Mar 30, 2010, 02:06 PM EDT

  I am sick of parents saying "my child wouldn't behave like that" You don't know what your child is doing when you are not around and when they are surrounded by a group of their peers. What makes this so truly tragic is the bullying was observed at the school and nothing was done to intervene. The school officials should be held accountable for not reporting this. I hope they are never able to overcome feeling accountable even if there is too much cowardice to prosecute them as well as the "children". I am particularly sensitive to this subject as we had a young man shoot himself in the head in front of his class in 1994 because he could not take the bullying anymore. The schools in our area have been particularly sensitive regarding this subject because of his suicide. However, now with the internet, it is so much worse for these beautiful young men and women who are targeted as many parents are completely oblivious to what their "angels" are doing.

• Chieftain | Mar 30, 2010, 12:06 PM EDT

  I love how everyone is always "sorry" after the fact. Bollocks! As celtic 24 said...GUILTY as charged!

• mystery1 | Mar 30, 2010, 11:27 AM EDT

  My child has been the victim of this type of "bullying"...this mother sounds exactly like the mothers of the kids that tormented my child. Obviously they don't know their own children. Treat them like the criminals they are. My heart breaks for her family. If I was in their shoes, I would sell everything I own to go back to the rural area they came from in Ireland, to get away from the hell they have endured in my country.

• celtic24 | Mar 30, 2010, 11:17 AM EDT

  GUILITY as charged