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Dublin mother-of-two says she had to have an abortion because she couldn't afford another child

Defies Irish law and shares abortion trip to England with newspaper

DARA KELLY,

IrishCentral.com Staff

Published Monday, July 25, 2011, 7:21 AM

Updated Monday, July 25, 2011, 1:23 PM

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A Dublin mother-of-two says she was forced to go to Britain for an abortion because she couldn't afford to raise another child, reveals the Irish Mail on Sunday.

‘I have no choice,’ she said. ‘I feel terrible about it now but I will get over it, it is the right thing for me to do. I have absolutely no doubts.’

The 32-year old woman, named 'Lorraine' in the article, lost her administrative job six months ago and received little support from her family. Three months ago, she separated from her long-term partner, who is the father of her two sons, aged 12 and 13. She embarked on a new relationship with an old friend and was shocked when she discovered she was expecting his child.

She asked the Irish Mail on Sunday to accompany her on her trip to Britain to highlight a journey taken by 150,000 women since January 1980.

‘I should be allowed to do this in Ireland,’ she said. ‘I never ever wanted to get pregnant but it’s happened now. I’d never be able to explain it to my children or my ex-partner and I have little or no support from my own family.

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‘I lost my job a few months ago and my ex doesn’t work either. I could never tell him what’s happened or my kids. The whole situation is a mess and I just can’t go through with it.’

The father of her unborn child said he was 'fine' with the situation.

‘He took it better than I thought he would,’ Lorraine said. ‘I honestly believed he would go mad but he didn’t. He understood my decision but said he would support me either way but I know he wanted me to have an abortion, he just didn’t say it. No one ever wants to say something like that.’

‘I wish I was never in this situation. I don’t care what anyone says – you can’t judge someone in this position until you’re in it yourself. I know I’ve made up my mind but that doesn’t stop me feeling awful.

‘I’m just all over the place but I’m definite about my decision.’

She said she would not give the baby up for adoption.

‘I know there are lots of people who can’t have children but that’s not my fault. I don’t want this baby and I have the right to make this decision. I couldn’t afford to take care of it anyway. I get a bit of work here and there but my main job is gone so I’m barely making ends meet as it is,’ she said.

Figures released by the Irish Family Planning Association in May revealed that around 12 women travelling to the UK, where abortion is legal up to the 24th week of pregnancy, for a termination every day.

Because Lorraine was only six weeks pregnant she chose to take the medical abortion pill instead of the surgical procedure.

‘I don’t regret it,' she said afterwards. 'I just hope when I get my head together and my hormones settle down that I’ll be able to put this behind me and get on with my life.’

Nster.com

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KMcSinger | Jul 30, 2011, 07:49 PM EDT

I'm usually prochoice but this story got to me. Whine whine. I'm too poor to have a baby.

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cillowen | Jul 26, 2011, 10:47 AM EDT

placing the burden on mother england is sickly sweet.

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krissangel | Jul 26, 2011, 10:01 AM EDT

Personal attacks on this woman for her lifestyle (of which we know nothing) are sad. It's a sad situation all around. I think, after failure of birth control (she hasn't had a child in 12 yrs, so I'd guess she was using some sort of birth control), she made a responsible decision that seemed best for her, her partner, and her existing family. Those without sin can throw the first stones. As for me, I don't judge her. I think it's sad she felt she had no other choice.

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jamieLM | Jul 26, 2011, 09:35 AM EDT

There are many infertile couples who would've been SO grateful to adopt this child and give him/her a loving home. Birth control sometimes fails, but adoption is always an available alternative. The father should've financially supported this woman until the child was born and adopted. He sounds like an irresponsible guy. Instead, they both took an easy way out of a situation they created. There are no winners here when the "parents" agreed to terminate their baby's life and will have to live with that decision, here and beyond. Both of them should be "fixed."

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bogsidebunny | Jul 26, 2011, 04:27 AM EDT

She ever hear of rubbers, diaphrams or the pill? Na, just tattoos, booze and fags (cigarettes for you Yanks) make up her and lots of other Irish women's gratification world.

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mairdemalone | Jul 25, 2011, 10:56 PM EDT

At 32, Lorraine did the right thing, aborted a child before it was born into a loveless world of poverty and God knows what else. I must add however, Lorraine should volunteer to have her tubes tied, because she is unfit to procreate. If she, at her age, had to have a "relationship" (when she had children to raise) and was shocked to find herself pregnant, she is one selfish egotist. All people about to enter "relationships" long or short, anyone capable of reproduction, should have to have to pass a test and recieve a License stating they are aware of their responsibility to their offspring. As future Irish citizens, all babies should be guaranteed a healthy womb, responsible parents, free medical care, free education right up until the age of majority, 18, the age when they can v ote. To insure this happens, children from a very early age should be taught parenting skills, starting in self respect and respect for all life forms. Without self respect, children can grow up to take others for granted, and worse, use others to escape their responsibilities. Those who want to bring children in to the world and then expect Social Services to support them for the rest of their lives, without taking on any responsibility should have their tubes tied after their first child is born. Children are not "owned" and should not be enslaved by parents too selfish to care about their child's future.

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vincentruane | Jul 25, 2011, 07:58 PM EDT

A question for Dara Kelly Irish Central staff writer- Was a weak and defenseless growing human being killed here?

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OnlyJean | Jul 25, 2011, 03:54 PM EDT

Adoption YES -- Abortion NO!!!

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OnlyJean | Jul 25, 2011, 03:53 PM EDT

The baby did not LIVE to regret it. I pray that this selfish women realizes that her baby's heart was already beating when she killed her child. I hope that she regrets it in time. Pray for her and all abortion-minded individuals. We are so much less with every selfish act.

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cheesesteak | Jul 25, 2011, 02:22 PM EDT

This woman is an ass. When she goes to Britain to kill her baby, instead of a newspaper reporter, why doesn't she bring along a couple that has spent thousands of dollars on in vitro fertilization - then she can really rub it in their faces.

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adrienrain | Jul 25, 2011, 02:11 PM EDT

Personal responsibility - well it's probably too late for that. The earth is reaching a tipping point, and everyone's survival and everyTHING's survival is at stake. Personal responsibility means limiting ones reproduction now. And it's urgent. Every system we need to live on this planet is in crisis and it's because of the way we live - reproducing irresponsibly, consuming greedily and throwing our toxic junk in the ocean, the waterways and the air. And while this devastating thing is taking place, holier-than-thou religious people argue about the choice a mother makes to keep her other kids from growing up destitute.

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Advocate | Jul 25, 2011, 02:00 PM EDT

Use of abortion as a means of 'birth-control' is a crime! It did NOT happen accidently, Etc., etc. Murder One....

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Suivness10 | Jul 25, 2011, 12:58 PM EDT

Simplesandy, FYI, it is not 2 counts of manslaughter in most countries. I don't agree with you, and I am not ashamed.

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simplesandy | Jul 25, 2011, 11:25 AM EDT

@Suivness10- get real. Read what people have written before you. They all say the truth; this is what’s wrong with the world. Someone to place the blame on. It was her that decided to kill an unborn child that was living inside her. Medical science already has determined that there is life after a baby is conceived. ohh pardon me if it is in the way of a mother to have a baby then let it be ripped out of her so she can do what ever she wants with her body? This makes me sick. And you should be ashamed of your self for promoting killings so you can have freedom to do with your body as it fits you. Did you know when a vehicle wrecks into a vehicle with a mother and her unborn child and kill them, the one who hit the car and killed them is charged with 2 counts of manslaughter. Gee why? When according to you there is no life till that baby is born.

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Porickseantuny | Jul 25, 2011, 11:17 AM EDT

Personal responsibility anyone? Should she be able to take heroin it's her body after all? We have many laws that curtail personal choice for the welfare of the community.

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