One thing I like to do for fun on Halloween and you can try this too, is before bobbing for apples at your local Halloween carnival or at a friend's party, fill your mouth brimming full with ketchup. When underwater, discharge the goo, then frantically jerk your head up out of the water screaming, "Razor! Razor!" In keeping with my tradition of telling scary stories for Halloween, here are a couple of spooky tales. One of them is complete B.S., but you can put in a few names of people that you know and it makes them a little bit more realistic. To those that spook easily, remember these are not real events that have happened. ... Or are they? (Makes sound like crazed person laughing ... Bruaahhah!) MAN'S BEST FRIEND A young lady is alone in her apartment in Queens. She goes to bed with her dog on the floor beside her. In the middle of the night, she is woken up by a strange sound. She is alarmed, but reaches down to the dog, which licks her hand. She is reassured and goes back to sleep. In the morning, she finds the dog hung in the shower. Where the dog slept, she picks up a note that reads, "Humans can lick too." GIRL'S GHOST In England a few ladies were getting ready for the girls night out, it was a chance for one of them to get out of the house as it had been a tough few weeks with her daughter, who was constantly crying and complaining of a "little girl" pulling her hair. As they were having a couple of drinks before they went out one of them decided to take a group photo, can you see what they found when they got the film developed? I love Halloween, as it is the only time of year adults are given permission to act childish. Besides a super-candy-gorge, Halloween parties must be catered with the creepiest edibles possible. These Butterfinger eyeballs certainly do the trick - besides being yummy, they have the ookey thing going on. EDIBLE EYEBALLS INGREDIENTS 1 cup creamy peanut butter 2 Tbsp. butter or margarine 2 cups powdered sugar 1 Butterfinger Candy Bar 2 cups Premier White Morsels 3 Tbsp. Vegetable Shortening 2 pkgs. Butterfinger BB'S Candies You will need: 1 small tube red decorator icing Wooden pick or skewer for dipping Wax paper METHOD Line 2 baking sheets with wax paper. Beat peanut butter and butter in large mixer bowl until creamy. Beat in powdered sugar until mixture holds together and is moistened. Stir in chopped Butterfinger. Shape into 1-inch "eyeballs." Place on prepared baking sheets. Freeze for 1 hour. Melt morsels and shortening in large, uncovered, microwave-safe bowl on Medium high (70%) power for 1 minute 30 seconds; STIR. Morsels may retain some of their original shape. If necessary, microwave at additional 10- to 15-second intervals, stirring just until melted. Remove one baking sheet of frozen "eyeballs" from freezer (keep other sheet in freezer until ready to use). Dip one "eyeball" into melted morsel mixture using a wooden pick or skewer. Shake off excess and return to baking sheet. Gently press 1 Butterfinger BB on top of "eyeball" to make a "pupil." Repeat procedure with remaining "eyeballs" on baking sheet. Refrigerate until coating is set. Repeat with remaining sheet of "eyeballs" and coating. You may find it necessary to reheat morsel mixture before dipping second batch. Before serving, pipe decorator icing around eyeballs to create bloodshot markings. Store in a covered container in refrigerator. Best served cold. AND FINALLY... TOP TEN REASONS WHY TRICK OR TREATING IS BETTER THAN SEX 10) You are guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack. 9) If you get tired, you can wait 10 minutes and go at it again. 8) The uglier you look; the easier it is to get some. 7) You don't have to compliment the person who gives you some. 6) Its O.K. when the person you're with fantasizes you're someone else, because you are. 5) Forty years from now you'll still enjoy candy. 4) If you don't like what you get, you can always go next door. 3) It doesn't matter if the kids hear you moaning and groaning. 2) Less guilt the morning after. 1) YOU CAN DO THE WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD Scare you later, CHEF GILLIGAN
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